Is there anyone who can share about their own healing from anger?

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CosmicImagery

Junior Member
Jul 16, 2014
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I'm in a time in my life where I'm really struggling with anger and am trying to trust that God is just and that I need to forgive others because He forgives me. But sometimes it's really encouraging to hear what God has done in other lives in this area so I thought I'd ask.
 
I know bitterness can cause us to be miserable, my fiance had a stroke and at times he gets upset about what others have done and bad neighbours etc. I myself see the growing aging in his face at times. Its hard to forgive others especially when they have tried to destroy us, but all I can say is don't let them rule your mind, ask god for help, look at the root cause why people act in a certain way. Ie is it alcohol or drugs or even the way their parents use to act. I hate anger or aggression in someone, as it can easily be passed onto someone who is kind and caring nature. Lets see the other side of things and look at the quiet people and kind individuals instead. people will test our spirit. my pray for you is to see your potential in making people happy, and also your love for the good ones in life. Amen
 
I guess it depends what the anger stems from. In some situations it is good, as it gets us out of a bad situation.
In others it is just damaging to ourselves and others.

I was hurt by someone, a long distance relationship, so we never met.
I started off by "God, right now I hate him, but I know you don't want me to, can you help?"

I prayed that (or similar things) over and over and over ....

Eventually, the feeling of hate subsided.

So I started praying "Lord, I know you want me to forgive him, but I can't yet, can you help me?"

and I prayed that over and over and over

until I was able to say "Ok God, I am still angry, and I will probably rant about it again, but I think I forgive him,
do help me if I forget that I did so I can do it gain :p )
 
You said "I NEED to....." (Not "get to" or "want to". That, right there, might be something to think about.


I want to be more loving in my heart. I want to be more loving.

Often there are good and sufficient reasons for exercising what seems a clear direct resentment. Again and again I find it hard to hold in check the sharp retort, the biting comeback, even when it seems that someone has done violence to my self respect and decent regard. How natural it seems to give as good as I get. To take nothing lying down, to announce to all and sundry in a thousand ways that no one can run over me and get away with it.

All this is a part of the thicket in which my heart gets caught again and again. But deep within me I want to be more loving. To glow with a warmth that will take the chill off of the room, which I share with those whose lives touch mine in the traffic of my goings and comings.

I want to be more loving. I want to be more loving in my heart.

It is often easy to have the idea in mind, the plan to be more loving; to see it with my mind and give consent to the thought of being loving. This is crystal clear. But I want to be more loving in my heart. I must feel like loving. I must ease the tension in my heart that ejects the sharp barb, the stinging word.

I want to be more loving with unconscious awareness and deliberate intent: Unconscious awareness and deliberate intent. I shall be a kind, a gracious human being. Thus those who walk the way with me may find it easier to love. To be gracious because of the love of God which is increasingly expressed in my living. I want to be more loving in my heart.

~Howard Thurman

 
I'm in a time in my life where I'm really struggling with anger and am trying to trust that God is just and that I need to forgive others because He forgives me. But sometimes it's really encouraging to hear what God has done in other lives in this area so I thought I'd ask.
I know that the more we obey him in every detail like picking up our crosses and walking without secretly wanting to be a multi millionaire as well for example, the more we walk in His peace. Hope that helps.
 
I used to be angry all the time. If things didn't go my way or if people didn't do or act the way I thought they should I would be over the top angry.

Sometimes I could settle myself down. Sometimes I would just stew and the next thing would make me even more upset.

I never asked to be healed from anger or delivered from anger. I never asked for patience, I knew better than that. What I did ask for was Wisdom and Revelation in the Knowledge of Christ. What I received was far more than what I thought or imagined.

Afterwards, I found I wasn't angry all the time. Because I knew my anger came from my will. I wasn't so concerned about me and my will anymore. I knew I wasn't in charge of things, the Lord is. He is even in charge of the little things that I was getting upset over.

I think anger is just a lack of peace. I know that sounds probably too obvious. But for someone who is angry all the time it is a sincerely awesome revelation.

The Lord gives us His Peace that passes all understanding. He give us His Joy. The world and the people in it mostly try to take it away. But Greater is He who is in us than he who is in the world.
 
Lean not on your own understanding. Bring God's understanding to anger - be willing to give up the way you are seeing things now and ask to see the issue/situation through Christ eyes/mind. Spend time listening for his answer.

Give up your evil thoughts - be willing to let them go and seek His thoughts on the matter. Spend time listening for those.

Dont react to or act out the anger in you but run to God and let Him "hold" you through it. Be willing to let go of the thoughts that you are maintaining the anger with and allow yourself to be open to the possibility that you are not seeing things with a clear mind. Make space to feel the feelings so you dont run away from them or stuff them down. Ask for Gods wisdom on how to deal with the situation once you are clear minded again.

Intend to love the other, and ask God how you can do so in that moment.

Be willing to forgive and let God work forgiveness in you. Spend time in His presence trusting He is doing this for you.

Ask God for healing in your heart and mind from anger.

These are the things I do...for anger, for resentment, for unforgiveness, for fear. Turning to Him in all things.

God bless you.
 
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yes I can relate in the past and still to this day, in fact I had a situation today. I used to be very anger and had a lot of problems with getting along with people and fitting in, I joined the army at 16 and did 2 years basic training and that changed me for the worst. I never had a fight until the army and never hit back but they turn me into something I wasn't! People would say something I disliked and my first thought of solving the issue would be attack them and I would start fights for simply nothing.. Since I have became Christian I have been learning to control myself, today in college a guy who disliked me said very loudly infront of the whole canteen that him and his mates disliked me and didn't want me sitting near them and everyone looked at me.. I'm telling you the angry I had was at boiling point and I was about to hit him but I then thought what would god think if I did this? So instead I calmed myself and left to be alone for a while. you shouldn't lower yourself to other peoples standards brother, you're a follower of god and he expects us to set an example in his name.

Later on I simply approached him and explained everything, said I have no problem with him and asked why he disliked me. He explained and we spoke about it like gentlemen in the end we came to a conclusion to just stay out of eachother way so we shook hands and that's the end of it. If I had have reacted differently and let anger get the better of me I would probably be in the world of problems right now and perhaps kicked out of college. Try to focus on what god would think and foresee your actions and outcomes of them.

I'm not saying I will never fight again because I don't know what's around the corner.. I will try my best not to bring violence into a situation and I will not start a fight. If someone in the other hand attacked me and tried harming me or someone else (such as bullying them) then I'm 100% going to back them up even though the lord is against violence sometimes the only way is violence. Like I said I wouldn't start a fight but if someone was attack me or harming someone else I would defend myself or anyone else for that matter.

I hope this helped you understand a little better. You're not the only one who suffers from anger we all do but you need to learn to control it and walk in the path of god. God bless you and wish you look in the near future!
 
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My anger has brought me to a place of needing professional help in comprehending it. I sought out a christian holistic healer. Through our work together; it has been brought to my attention that a majority of my anger stems from bitterness; compromising my values/ beliefs, "an honest confession" ... I am not getting my way; as well as years of feeling responsible for others {in many ways}. God has shown me that if I listen to my own personal convictions & correct them, then things are resolved with out the anger (as long as I don't take others reactions personally). If others are not happy with how I choose to do things/ care for myself... I remind myself that I am responsible for no ones walk but my own.
This is all new to me and I still struggle with it, but going to prayer when I feel the discomfort of anger coming on helps. I ask to be shown: why I am angry, is this a righteous indignation, am I justified in the anger. I then ask that His peace come over me, and that He guide me through it. I ask that if I need to speak; He gives me the words & if I need to remain silent that He gives me the ability to hold my tongue. There are even times I must look up verses on anger and read over them and take time to meditate on them; I then realize the emotion of anger has subsided.
There is a lot here; I apologize for that, but hopefully you can find some assistance in some of the words. If you are a reader I am aware of many books that have help me. The biggest help(s) was the realization that doing things against my conscious, and not getting my way are the huge culprits!
 
I was angry after my divorce. They took my kids, lied to the judge, people from church.
I had forgiven my ex but he said something in church lol which made me flip out at him in church. Then at home I said: Lord I can't forgive him for all the pain he caused and the things he said when we were married. I just could not.
Then God showed me how what I said to him also had worked as a curse. I chose to and He did it. Then I chose to forgive the others. Just choose to, say: Lord I choose to forgive... fill in the names, parents whatever and He does it through you and can heal you up.
 
I have learned to let go of small things. Getting angry is exhausting and a waste of time so I refuse to let small issues bother me. But when I get really angry that means my threshold has been reached so you better get out of my face and out of my life. I won't be hysterical but its either you leave or I leave. I can forgive but it will take a while for me to accept you back in my life.
 
It's not always wrong but you shouldn't sin when you get angry.
I was angry at my kids but my mother was never angry and I was taught it was evil and you should always be sweet and smiling and let everyone walk over you. Well since I got a few times really angry but didn't sin they listen perfectly. Setting boundaries and not let everyone walk over you is not wrong but first get rid of the wrong anger.
 
coby2: yes the boundaries thing has helped tremendously!! Well for me; however those around me who are use to having their way ... ... ... they are not too happy for me or about it, but this is where I need to remind myself I am not responsible for them, their reactions, or how they interpret things. This is a very hard lesson for me to grasp; I have been the 'scapegoat' for everyone for so long... ... ... the healing process is not easy but required :o I have noticed that setting the boundaries has helped with the removal of the 'wrong' anger.
 
for me, after conversion, the Holy Spirit brought forth, over a great time, the reasons
for my anger and resentments and fears...
I had to re-live them in order to understand my behavior patterns that were un-Christ-like
and that bound me... I had to hold the roots and then let-go and forgive...
it definitely worked, and Christ has taught me that when the challenges come, I can and do
rest in His peace for it keeps me in His will no matter what...