Its almost the same dream every night....

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RachelP03

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Im recently single. I got divorced on August 1st from my ex whom I was with since 15. My husband had cheated and left earlier of 2011 and I then lost my mind and lived in sin with my ex bf. So lately, I have been thinking alot of my ex bf. I miss him and we had so much fun together. I had been kinda depressed over him actually, but for the past 3 days, I have had the same dream that I was with my ex husband and we were living life. I dont understand, considering I dont really think about him much and I had been thinking of the ex bf. Its the dreams that you think of all day long, that you dont forget. I dont understand. I also dont understand why I miss my ex bf who I was only with for 8 months, then my husband who I was with for 11 years. I feel like my life is just so messed up the past few days. Everything was okay until one day, I dont know if its the devil throwing stuff back in my face or Im just going thru a rough patch. Im not really used to be single, I like it because Im growing my relationship with the Lord, but I really do miss affection and being important in someones life. I really want to be with the man God wants me to be with. I dont want to be with anyone who isnt for me. I think thats what happened with my first marriage. The saying is true.....DONT DATE SOMEONE YOU DONT PLAN ON MARRYING. :(
 
Sounds like you're just grieving. And likely the reason you're grieving your ex bf because he was more recent, and probably you have less negative memories of him. You know when you were first with your bf and everything was new and exciting and lovey dovey? Yeah, that lasts about 6 months. Its a chemical in the brain that gets released and roughly after 6 months the lovey dovey feelings go away and thats why so many relationships don't last much longer. So you latest memory is probably 6 months of lovey dovey and 2 months of bad before the break up.
Your marriage on the other hand, is likely years of problems, fighting, anger, regret, etc. And since he was cheating that can really damage how you feel about him. I've had peoples actions lower my feelings for them, it happens.
I say do your best to fend off the memories, stick around the boards here and read about how to cope with singleness, as it is a common topic here and it helps a lot to read on it and what others do and how they feel.
Far as the dreams, don't worry. Your emotions are really raw and exposed right now, you're going through a lot mentally, emotionally, and even physically with the stress of it all. Your brain is just working through all these major changes going on, so don't read into them.

You're a little disadvantaged because you were only 15 when you started with your ex husband, 11 years is a long time to be with someone and to suddenly be without them, even if its for issues like cheating. Starting at a young age you developed certain mental standards, and now you have to live without them. So it may be a little harder since you started so young, but it is still possible. Hope something here helps.
 
Thanks for sharing. I still sometimes have dreams I'm with my ex and we've been divorced for a decade. I've had a few girlfriends over that time but whilst it's easy to get into a relationship, it isn't always as easy and painless to get out of the relationship if you realise that you're not right for each other. I prefer get to know girls without letting on I'm interested these days - saves the grief of break ups
 
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