Rom 9 does not support the fatalistic view.
And God does not hate babies
1. As for this passage, a quote from Malachi, Jacob (Israel) I loved, Esau (edom) I hated.
God did not say he hated a baby, he said he loved a nation,
2. Love hate. In hebrew, it Hate does not always mean hate, it can also mean love less. Ie, Jacob, I loved more than I loved esau. Or Esau I loved less. We have NT equivalent, when God tells us we must hate our parents children and spouses if we are to enter the kingdom.. No one would be lieve this, Jesus meant, Love them less than him, put him first.
3. God told their mother, Two nations are in your womb, One will serve the other..
God put Jacob first, because his son would come from them.
Paul is fighting jews who thought because they were born of Abraham they were automatically in. Paul is telling the truth, that is not true, God did not make a mistake choosing Israel however.
I agree to love in action is to bless according to the blessing of God. To hate is simply not to bless.
The division that Christ brings is to hate our mother and father brother and sisters by putting them second to our love of God. His love, the source of blessing.
God hates all workers of iniquity (natural unconverted men) as soon as they are born they go forth doing what their nature predicts, telling lies according to their sin nature.. All men are considered liars it is how we let him be the true one according to the faith of God. You can say what if they believe not(no faith) Obliviously it will not make the faith of God by which we are blessed to believe Him to no effect.
All men must be born again regardless of the age. God can convert a person while still in the womb. But there is no way for us to see into the heart of anyone again regardless on the age. In the end of the matter it becomes... does he know your heart?
1Ki 8:39 Then hear thou in heaven thy dwelling place, and forgive, and do, and give to every man according to his ways, whose heart thou knowest; (for thou, even thou only, knowest the hearts of all the children of men
It would seem that information was revealed to David that God did know the heart of His child that David lost. He revealed to David he can go to the place of the child ,the new Jerusalem, but the child could not come here.