Judgement for those with despair? Help.

[NickV]

I met a person who was raised catholic, they lived a very hard life and have had many horrible horrible things happen to them. They prayed and begged for God and after they never found any safety in him they gave up. They don’t believe in God anymore because they said how can God be real and let me suffer continuously.
How can I as a Christian agree with a God that allows for no respite from suffering and then this person will die and be sent to hell? I may be wrong but to not believe and have heard is to be sent away from God. Why should that person live hell on earth, alone with no help from God that they can tell ( yes you can say “oh but what about all the things God spared them from that they don’t know”) which dosnt much matter as the other suffering has severed the connection.
My question is, if it is a relationship , that is the connection we have with God, why is ot so one sided for some people and because of that they would be sent to hell? I refuse to belive that but I’m not sure where to find an answer to this. It seems so wrong and not what God would do, but what do I know of Gods plan? Or the choices he makes. But based on the understanding of the bible what I said previously seems to be the case.
This person will have suffered their whole life and be sent to hell as well. The thought is making me sick.

 

[Seeker47]

I met a person who was raised catholic, they lived a very hard life and have had many horrible horrible things happen to them. They prayed and begged for God and after they never found any safety in him they gave up. They don’t believe in God anymore because they said how can God be real and let me suffer continuously.
How can I as a Christian agree with a God that allows for no respite from suffering and then this person will die and be sent to hell? I may be wrong but to not believe and have heard is to be sent away from God. Why should that person live hell on earth, alone with no help from God that they can tell ( yes you can say “oh but what about all the things God spared them from that they don’t know”) which dosnt much matter as the other suffering has severed the connection.
My question is, if it is a relationship , that is the connection we have with God, why is ot so one sided for some people and because of that they would be sent to hell? I refuse to belive that but I’m not sure where to find an answer to this. It seems so wrong and not what God would do, but what do I know of Gods plan? Or the choices he makes. But based on the understanding of the bible what I said previously seems to be the case.
This person will have suffered their whole life and be sent to hell as well. The thought is making me sick.

There is so much here I'm not sure where to start. I will offer some observations:

God the Father does not cause suffering nor does he send anyone to hell. Those are both human caused conditions.

God gave man free will, without which we would be blind and unthinking robots. We would be incapable of experiencing either suffering or joy. It appears He believes the temporary suffering we experience is worth an eternity spent with him. Who can argue?

We cannot fully understand the mind of Our Father, yet in arrogance we think we do. For example, we know He sent His Son to redeem fallen mankind. True; but we absolutely do not know all the ways He uses to accomplish His ends. I think it is an serious error for us to claim we know who does and who does not face condemnation. God's righteousness far exceeds our own. Praise Him for that!

Finally, some thoughts on suffering. A totally evil person cannot suffer. Suffering may lead to repentance, a good thing. No good thing can exist in a totally evil person. On the other hand, a totally good person would suffer the most. For example, I have suffered for a few people, some close friends and family. Mother Theresa suffered for many people, especially the unwanted and the poor. Jesus suffered most of all; not just the cross but with everything He saw and did His entire life. Only good can suffer perfectly. (These are the thoughts of C.S. Lewis, not mine).

If you have not done so, find a copy of Lewis' book Mere Christianity. It helped me.

Struggle on brother believer, but in hope, not despair.

 

[Gideon300]

I met a person who was raised catholic, they lived a very hard life and have had many horrible horrible things happen to them. They prayed and begged for God and after they never found any safety in him they gave up. They don’t believe in God anymore because they said how can God be real and let me suffer continuously.
How can I as a Christian agree with a God that allows for no respite from suffering and then this person will die and be sent to hell? I may be wrong but to not believe and have heard is to be sent away from God. Why should that person live hell on earth, alone with no help from God that they can tell ( yes you can say “oh but what about all the things God spared them from that they don’t know”) which dosnt much matter as the other suffering has severed the connection.
My question is, if it is a relationship , that is the connection we have with God, why is ot so one sided for some people and because of that they would be sent to hell? I refuse to belive that but I’m not sure where to find an answer to this. It seems so wrong and not what God would do, but what do I know of Gods plan? Or the choices he makes. But based on the understanding of the bible what I said previously seems to be the case.
This person will have suffered their whole life and be sent to hell as well. The thought is making me sick.

God's response to Job's complaint was "I'm God and you are not." But Job also revealed the cause of his own troubles. "The thing I greatly feared has come upon me."

Fear is the opposite of faith and opens the door to Satan's attacks. Nothing "just" happens. I was an unbelieving 12 year old when God answered my prayer. I was so spooked that I refused to believe it. I was just shy of 21 when God finally got through to me and I was born again. By then I was suicidal, depressed, sick, alcoholic and life to me was meaningless.

I know God to be love, to be holy and righteous. God gave His Son Jesus to suffer and die in our place. You do not know the whole truth about that individual. God does. I don't know either, but I do trust in the unfailing goodness and mercy of of God.

Getting mad at God is a sure way to bring serious trouble into your life. God only has to remove His protection for a time and all hell will break loose. I've spoken to many who are angry at God. I've been there myself. I do not recommend it.

It is essential to get to the root of the problem. Some people approach God as if He were responsible for the evil in the world. Well, He is not. That's the truth. Coming to God in that attitude will get you nowhere except more trouble.

The Catholic's experience is contrary to God's character, God's righteousness and God's holiness. Something is off and it is not with God. We are exhorted to trust in the Lord with all our heart and not to rely on our own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5) When I was young in the Lord, I had many struggles and doubts. When doubts came, I looked to the cross. There God reveals just how great is His love for the world. Jesus tasted death for every man, even the Catholic.

 

[Brasspen]

KJV Luke 16:19-31

{16:19} There was a certain rich man, which was clothed
in purple and fine linen, and fared sumptuously every day:
{16:20} And there was a certain beggar named Lazarus,
which was laid at his gate, full of sores, {16:21} And
desiring to be fed with the crumbs which fell from the rich
man’s table: moreover the dogs came and licked his sores.
{16:22} And it came to pass, that the beggar died, and was
carried by the angels into Abraham’s bosom: the rich man
also died, and was buried; {16:23} And in hell he lift up his
eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and
Lazarus in his bosom. {16:24} And he cried and said,
Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that
he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my
tongue; for I am tormented in this flame. {16:25} But
Abraham said, Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime
receivedst thy good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things:
but now he is comforted, and thou art tormented. {16:26}
And beside all this, between us and you there is a great gulf
fixed: so that they which would pass from hence to you
cannot; neither can they pass to us, that [would come] from
thence. {16:27} Then he said, I pray thee therefore, father,
that thou wouldest send him to my father’s house: {16:28}
For I have five brethren; that he may testify unto them, lest
they also come into this place of torment. {16:29} Abraham
saith unto him, They have Moses and the prophets; let them
hear them. {16:30} And he said, Nay, father Abraham: but
if one went unto them from the dead, they will repent.
{16:31} And he said unto him, If they hear not Moses and
the prophets, neither will they be persuaded, though one
rose from the dead.

 

[jchristian]

OP, don't expect much compassion from the posters here (based upon the replies I've seen on this board.) Just giving you a heads up.

I'm sorry your friend has had to live such a difficult life of betrayal and suffering. And I truly believe they have suffered. I hope they open up their hearts to see that it was not God who did these things to them, and that Jesus is the Savior they need to deliver them from the spiritual and mental suffering they're experiencing now and forever.

 

[Lynx]

I met a person who was raised catholic, they lived a very hard life and have had many horrible horrible things happen to them. They prayed and begged for God and after they never found any safety in him they gave up. They don’t believe in God anymore because they said how can God be real and let me suffer continuously.
How can I as a Christian agree with a God that allows for no respite from suffering and then this person will die and be sent to hell? I may be wrong but to not believe and have heard is to be sent away from God. Why should that person live hell on earth, alone with no help from God that they can tell ( yes you can say “oh but what about all the things God spared them from that they don’t know”) which dosnt much matter as the other suffering has severed the connection.
My question is, if it is a relationship , that is the connection we have with God, why is ot so one sided for some people and because of that they would be sent to hell? I refuse to belive that but I’m not sure where to find an answer to this. It seems so wrong and not what God would do, but what do I know of Gods plan? Or the choices he makes. But based on the understanding of the bible what I said previously seems to be the case.
This person will have suffered their whole life and be sent to hell as well. The thought is making me sick.

First, howdy and welcome to the forum.

Second, you're blaming a lot of stuff on God, but God don't have nothing to do with any of it.

Third, read some of David's psalms. He sometimes felt really bitter about how life was going for him. But he was still called the man after God's own heart.

Sometimes life hurts, and it's okay to be upset about it. Just because we're Christians doesn't mean we have to pretend life is rainbows and lollipops all the time.

"But it's not fair that some people hurt so much more, and for so much longer."

Actually that's more fair. What's REALLY unfair is that life doesn't hurt much at all for some people. If God didn't intervene in our lives there would be a lot more suffering all around.

"But why does God not help the people I know who are suffering terribly?"

I don't know. Maybe God has been helping them. Maybe they would be suffering a lot more if God had not helped them. Or maybe God wants to help them, but they refused. Or maybe God is letting them go through something to teach them a hard lesson. Or maybe... There are a lot of valid reasons for what you perceive is unjust.

Ultimately Matthew 20:15 trumps all. "Is it not lawful for me to do what I will with mine own?" God will help who he wants to help as much as he wants to help them. Any assistance is unfair, in our favor. If some get more or less help than others, that is just variations of unfairness. And we are all far on our own side of unfair.

To say God is being unfalr in letting somebody suffer, THAT is truly illogical.