Just because you are single doesn't mean you are gay

[belle82]

just going to throw this out there are see what others think, i have been single most of my teenage life and most of my young adult life. I have been saving myself for marriage and been waiting on God to bring the person for me along. Over the past few years, from family and people that i know. I have received comments and questions if i am gay. My answer to this is no. This has not only been hurtful but i have felt very unsupported in the way i live my life. My question to all is have other singles come across these sorts of questions or am i doing something wrong here and how do you deal with this sort of situation.

 

[Matthew]

I can relate 100%.

I have always been a bit introvert I guess is a good way to put it, not anti-social or boring just a little reserved, as a result I have never found it easy to form friendships and also romantic relationships, although with the latter it has been as much to do with the fact that I wasn't actively seeking one most of the time, I would rather it develop from a friendship if possible.

When I got my first job a friend of mine was a little older and gay, he made it known to everyone that he found me attractive and that caused rumours about why I was on my own etc..

When I tell guys I work with I don't want to go to the pub or nightclub they ask me if I am gay because they are going mainly to meet women, so I know how you feel.

It sometimes feels like it's wrong to be who you are if who you are is a little bit different you're certainly not alone in this.

 

[resurrection33]

just going to throw this out there are see what others think, i have been single most of my teenage life and most of my young adult life. I have been saving myself for marriage and been waiting on God to bring the person for me along. Over the past few years, from family and people that i know. I have received comments and questions if i am gay. My answer to this is no. This has not only been hurtful but i have felt very unsupported in the way i live my life. My question to all is have other singles come across these sorts of questions or am i doing something wrong here and how do you deal with this sort of situation.

I am 57 and have never married. I rarely run into this problem. However, it is offensive to me that some people assume everybody is having sex with someone, and that if you are not having sex with a woman, then you must be having sex with a man. Jesus told us not to have sex unless we are married. I congratulate you for saving yourself.

 

[jlcook84]

I can relate

 

[Co_IsaaC]

lol, it was frustrating to me at first... now its funny. ppl dont know how much we want to just WAIT for the one person.

RELATE

 

[belle82]

thanks for the reassurance guys it helps to know that there are others like me who have been accused of the same thing

 

[Dread_Zeppelin]

I didn't have a boyfriend until after college so i can realate to this (especially in highschool). People say this stuff to you because they feel uncomfortable believing that there are honest to goodness self-respecting men and women that are willing to wait for great things instead of biting at the first person they see. It's a reflection issue. In our culture, we're trained into thinking that relationships are the most important part of our lives and that everyone is up for grabs (no morals nessisary).

My advice is to tell them at you dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend because you respect yourself enough to wait for someone that you like and not someone just to date. If they can't accept that answer you should tell them that you feel sorry for people who date because they're insecure and you know what you want out of life. Proceed to tell them all the wonderful accomplishments and dreams that you're persuing. That'll shut them up.

 

[Matthew]

My advice is to tell them at you dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend because you respect yourself enough to wait for someone that you like and not someone just to date. If they can't accept that answer you should tell them that you feel sorry for people who date because they're insecure and you know what you want out of life. Proceed to tell them all the wonderful accomplishments and dreams that you're persuing. That'll shut them up.

I've always chosen to just ignore the question, honestly I think people are a bit off the mark asking in the first place regardless of what they wonder about a person, I see people out and about and sometimes things pop into my mind about them but I just ignore those thoughts and keep focusing on what's important.

I think if you answer a question like that, the answer aside it encourages people to think it's O.K. to ask personal questions they don't really have any right or reason to ask, I mean people who don't have a serious and trusting relationship with you.
Second to that reason I don't think anyone should go about offering explanations for the way they choose live.

 

[jimmydiggs]

Many people my age don't understand why I do not date, am waiting until marriage for intimacy, have not kissed a female other than the cheeks of a grandmother, and many other things. Many just simply don't understand this. I sometimes am mocked for it as well, it does not bother me as much. In the United States, this type of stuff is all around us. I know what I want, and that is what I will wait for. I am patient.

 

[Dread_Zeppelin]

I've always chosen to just ignore the question, honestly I think people are a bit off the mark asking in the first place regardless of what they wonder about a person, I see people out and about and sometimes things pop into my mind about them but I just ignore those thoughts and keep focusing on what's important.

I think if you answer a question like that, the answer aside it encourages people to think it's O.K. to ask personal questions they don't really have any right or reason to ask, I mean people who don't have a serious and trusting relationship with you.
Second to that reason I don't think anyone should go about offering explanations for the way they choose live.

I agree with this, however, I've always felt I had to answer because they were close family members or I knew if I didn't say anything at all they'd gossip about me (to just add fuel to the fire and make it a juicier issue). Some people believe that saying "none of your business" means that you're ashamed to admit something. Sometimes to me it's just easier to answer and make them feel foolish for asking at all.

 

[Matthew]

I agree with this, however, I've always felt I had to answer because they were close family members or I knew if I didn't say anything at all they'd gossip about me (to just add fuel to the fire and make it a juicier issue). Some people believe that saying "none of your business" means that you're ashamed to admit something. Sometimes to me it's just easier to answer and make them feel foolish for asking at all.

I definetly understand that and relate too it as well, I know a few family members wondered when I was a few years younger and actively avoiding the club scene but it stopped when I got into my 20's.

Now it's more often co-workers who enjoy talking openly about all aspects of their personal lives right down to what goes on in their bedrooms, and that's when I just decide that I won't even engage them on the subject because they shouldn't even be sharing that information in my opinion so I won't add to it even if I would be disagreeing with everything they're sayng.

 

[electricbluesman]

I used to hear it all the time, now although people arent saying it to me openly, they are still thinking that im gay. It is an insult. Just like every other aspect of our lives, we Should be set apart from the rest in this manner as well, so even though i am insulted initially, after thinking about it, it is an honour to be mocked for taking a stand for what is right. Being ridiculed by the world lets us know that we are on the right track.

 

[glory_girL]

I got a boyfriend yet until now.
never feel how relationship is.maybe,in my country,17 is still a child.and until now,my family dont allow me to get boyfriend.
thats no problem for me nt to have the right man.but sometimes,i feel look like you are..
I just could pray for you to get the right woman soon. pray and wait.He has the big and wonderful plan for you,guys!

 

[MahogonySnail]

Anyone who suggests a person is gay for remaining celebate I'd want to tie them up and force feed them carrot and prune juice until their insides hurt. Ironically some men would prefer to be gay and never married than end up with the woman they have.

 

[lightbliss]

Anyone who suggests a person is gay for remaining celebate I'd want to tie them up and force feed them carrot and prune juice until their insides hurt. Ironically some men would prefer to be gay and never married than end up with the woman they have.

Thats why we should always wait.

 

[jimmydiggs]

Thats why we should always wait.

Patience. It will get you a long ways.

 

[DinoDillinger]

I haven't had this experience since being a christian, although I'm still a babe. People from work who didn't know me before I doubt would even try to pick at me that way since they know that I would preach to them on it. They rarely even cuss or talk about women in that way around me becuase they already know what I'm gonna say about it lol.

If someone was to ask me that, I would hope that i would take it as a opportunity to witness to them. Not only the reasons I don't walk like they do but what I would require of a woman for me to consider dating her. Which I think a wise man would not look for such in a bar or night club. I would hope that it would convict some who call themselves christians but don't walk there in.

 

[nobadee]

I never really cared about what other people thought about me. If they weren't scared I was some killing machine, who was going to cut their throats in the middle of the night, they were entertaining some other wild theory about me being a fallen angel or an alien or something. I've heard it all.

I always look at people's failed attempts to understand differences the same way someone with a problem tries to project their insecurities on to other people. It makes them feel better about themselves to ponder up a nonsensical accusation; so, that they can sleep at night. But, don't confuse accusations with someone who is just being a smart aleck. I do that a lot. he he

 

[Narn]

I have been accused of being gay all through highschool and even now from time to time. I have never really had a girlfriend.

 

[i_love_the_Lord]

just going to throw this out there are see what others think, i have been single most of my teenage life and most of my young adult life. I have been saving myself for marriage and been waiting on God to bring the person for me along. Over the past few years, from family and people that i know. I have received comments and questions if i am gay. My answer to this is no. This has not only been hurtful but i have felt very unsupported in the way i live my life. My question to all is have other singles come across these sorts of questions or am i doing something wrong here and how do you deal with this sort of situation.

I applaud you!!! Keep your virginity till you have married the one the Lord has for you. I did keep my virginity till I was married, but unfortunately, I married the wrong man. Now we are separated and getting a divorce. I have learned my lesson the hard way, but you don't have to. God bless you and keep you!