Just need someone to talk to.

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HollyW

HollyW

Member
#1
Jan 18, 2011
87
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#1
Ok right now I'm undergoing some really harsh times. Our home is in the process of foreclousure. I live right now with my mother to make ends meet. I've overstayed my welcome by almost 14 yrs. During those 14 yrs, I've been battling with chronic depression and social anxiety disorder. My family seems as if they don't even care about me because they feel I guess that I have just been lazy all these years. That isn't the case. I had a lot of mental problems I was dealing with. Still am dealing with them, but now I'm overcoming them.
Anyway, my family they are treating me as if I am the scum of the family. They treat me as if they don't even care about me or whether or not my daughter and I could wind up out on the street. They haven't offered to help me one iota. I have a part-time job but I only get about 10-20 hours biweekly. My church provided me with this job and they've been treating me more like family than my real family has. I just need to have someone to talk to now because I'm really stressed out. I can't help but worry and I can't keep from crying. I feel so very alone because my family is trying to push me away. I seriously think when I do become self sufficient (make it soon, by the grace of God), I should disown them. No one needs a whole lot of hate and negativity in their lives especially from their own flesh and blood. But I wish God would send me a family that will support me emotionally and comfort me when I'm troubled and not shove me off like I'm worthless just because I'm half black and poor.
 
R

Reikon

Guest
#2
#2
May GOD bless you HollyW. Well, I want you to know that I'm here for you in chat and you can talk to me anytime I'm online. I can also relate to you because my parents are wanting me to go to a group home just because I have mental problems and because we tend to argue alot. GOD has blessed you with a good church I see :). I really think you should lean on the ones you know in your church because it sounds like they're being more supportive and more of a family to you then you parents right now. It's alright if you have to cry. Just let it all out. It's better then to keep all this stress and tears locked up inside you.

I will pray for you:
GOD, may you bless this woman and heal her. Give her guidance and strength to get through this tough time. Please sign your light down upon her and bless her and give her all that she needs.
Amen!

Also, about the family thing. You don't have to be blood related to someone for them to be considered as family. I have many friends and I consider them as my family more then I do my parents. They treat me better and they can disagree with me and respect me at the same time. GOD will help you through this, just don't lose faith in him. He is already helping you overcome your mental problems and that's a good start because I know, first hand, the mental problems can be very disabling and depressing. I think you should keep praying and let this all be in GOD's hands and turn to the people you trust like the people in your church and the friends you have here.
 
grace

grace

Senior Member
#3
Sep 8, 2006
1,064
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#3
I will pray for you.

I know how it is to feel like your in such a desperate place that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. BUT, the glory of it all is that we do not need to be looking for the light at the end of the tunnel because God gives us enough light for the step we are currently on. (to have this mentality is easier said than done, I KNOW!)

I too have lost people around me when my life was @ some rough points. I am very happy to hear that you have your church family there to support you!

May I offer a couple of suggestions? There are things in place to help you during this time of transition. I know it is tough to take part in social service agencies...but that is what they are there for. When there is a temporary, emergent need. If these things are too tough for you to undertake on your own @ this time, please go to your church and see if they would be willing to help you find a mentor to help you though this process.

The reality is that your current living situation is going to end soon. You will need somewhere for you and your daughter to go. HUD is a gov't agency that helps with housing. They are in pretty much every city on some level. They have apartments, as well as a program to where you can find your own housing they will help pay for. (it is based on family size and income.) This should be your first step!

Second, since you will not be residing with anyone else besides your daughter...you will only have your income to count, and because of that you will qualify for food stamps. This will help you a great deal so you won't have to worry in the near future about how that cost will be covered.

Also, the Dept. of Health and Human Servics (also known to some as the welfare office) has a program known as TANF. (Temporary Aid to Needy Families) They have all sorts of programs that can help you become self-sufficient. Including, but not limited to possibly getting you a car, schooling, childcare costs, etc.

You are not worthless. I know how easy it can be to feel that way when your so far down in the valley. I still have dialogue with myself on occation, telling myself that once I get to the mountaintop, the view will be AMAZING!

I know these steps may not be easy ones for you to take....but they seem pretty important for you right now so you and your daughter do not end up homeless. It sounds like you have a lovely support system within your church...I am sure they can find someone to help you through the process.

Blessings
 
HollyW

HollyW

Member
#4
Jan 18, 2011
87
3
8
46
#4
Someone on this chat suggested to me that I should ask around CC to see if there's anybody that can help me financially or at least help me find a place to stay while I'm looking for another job. It's been slow and terribly rough the job hunting because I have only had four jobs since I was 16 yrs old and huge gaps in between jobs due to family problems and dealing with depression. I can only guess why people don't want to hire me. Probably because they think I'm a dead beat because of my past work experience. But I want to move on from that. I don't see why people need to look at your past mistakes in order to see how reliable you are now. People can change and with Jesus I have tremendously. I just wish that employers wouldn't evaluate strictly on past work experience. I have plenty of skills. Tons of computer skills and stuff that I've learned from working in the office at the church.
But I'm going to post in almost every forum thread that pertains to the subject and see if there's someone on here kind enough to help me out. I have to explore all my options. But I'm so very scared and I can't keep being strong when I feel I have no one to lean on.
 
HollyW

HollyW

Member
#7
Jan 18, 2011
87
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#7
I've written down some numbers from the HUD site of some local housing agencies. Also, I'm going to speak with my welfare caseworker and see if there's anything they could do. That, and just keep vigorously looking for full time employment. I was just so upset by my family. The people on this Earth that God put here to be the ones who support you and to be your comforters. Just makes me ever-lovin angry! I know that God will not let me fall to far. I know that He is there for me even when no one else is. I can't always be miss susie sunshine christian, lol, so sometimes I just break down. I'm trying so hard not to worry so much and not to be so afraid. But it's like I'm hanging by a thin thread from heaven and any minute now it's going to break and I'm going to fall into the abyss.
 
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HollyW

HollyW

Member
#9
Jan 18, 2011
87
3
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46
#9
ilovegodimakid said:
hey ma'am im a kid
Click to expand...
Hey man, you are a troll also. Will you please stop posting on this thread. I don't have time for online fools trying to poke fun of people's misfortunes because they don't have anything better to do with their lives. Please just stop posting.
 
R

Reikon

Guest
#10
#10
You could always try homeless shelters or group homes. However, I only think group homes allow you to stay at a certain age but there are different shelters that will take you in if you're homeless.
Wow, you've had alot of jobs, compared to me. I don't see how your parents think you're lazy. You sound hardworking and are looking past the problems to find work. That takes alot of courage. If I had my own place, I'd let you stay with me but I don't :( I don't have any money to send you either but I wish I could. But GOD will provide.
 
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