Kids say the darndest things

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Prov910

Senior Member
Jan 10, 2017
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Anyone who has kids, grandchildren, or is just around children sometimes, knows that they can say the funniest, most insightful, most awesome things. Here's something that my son said a few years ago.

Background: I had been telling my three-year-old son about God being omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotent. I told him that God created the universe and everything in it, and that God was powerful enough to do anything He wanted. We had a long conversation this. A couple days later I was driving with my young son in our car, listening to a sports radio station discussing the results of the 40 yard dash at the NFL combine (testing).

Me (listening to the radio): "Wow, that guy is going to be one of the fastest guys in the NFL."

Son (in a serious tone, leaning forward in his child carseat)" Yeah. But God is a lot faster than him."

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Ha ha! After reading it, I think that was funnier in person than recounted on a message board.

Anyone else have any gems that their kid said?
 
No but I once thought that when you put a vcr tape in that there were people inside making the movie, and i always thought "how do they do it that fast?"
 
The latest thing I found funny was my nephew asking my sister how to say good-bye in French. I thought nothing of it. They're always asking random things. So, when they dropped me off, he waved his tissue like a handkerchief and said "Au revoir" to me. I thought it was cute.
 
My nephew was known for cracking people up in his church. My sister and hubby use to attend a little country church. It was very informal and kids were included in the service. So one Sunday the pastor was talking about communion and explaining it.The children were allowed to take communion too. So when the pastor said to take the bread they did.But then the pastor said the juice represented the blood. My brother in law suddenly noticed my nephew was gone.He looked around and my nephew was headed back to the pew. When his father asked where he was going he said out loud "I ain't drinkin no blood daddy!" lol He was probably five or six. He was such a ham.Now his younger brother has taken that job. :)
 
No kids myself, but younger siblings.

When one of my brothers was about 10, he and his friend Scott were in the den, while I was in the kitchen. They didn't know I could hear them.

Little brother liked a girl. He told Scott, "If I could, I'd jump off the roof and land my mouth on her mouth to kiss her."

I'm thinking, "Ouch! Painful."

He's thinking...? Well, really, I never did figure out what he was thinking. The subject stopped right then when I burst out laughing.
 
Kayla's story reminds me of something that happened when I first joined the church I met hubby in, and with the same pastor who married us.

The pastor had a couple of boys, and the younger was "inventive."

He had a plastic container with the words "Pet Fart" in marker. After the service, he'd go up to people and ask them if they wanted to smell his pet fart. Several people were offended, but the pastor laughed it off. He wasn't going to stop letting his son be a kid, just because he was a PK.

I remember when he asked future-hubby and me. We declined, but I'm the one who had to ask him how he managed to contain the pet. It wasn't just Mr. Bubbles making bubbles in his bathtub. lol