Leaving home at 18 seemed like the right thing to do in John’s mind. His mom had passed away years earlier and now that he could support himself, he didn’t want to feel like a burden on his dad. He thought it would be easier on his dad financially if he moved out as soon as he graduated. Growing up, John lived in a small house in rural Kentucky. In order to find a job though, he would have to move to Louisville.
John’s dad didn’t have a phone, so he wrote his dad letters twice a week. His letters were full of stories about the new people he was meeting and his job. Through all of the writing though, John’s dad never wrote him back. After nearly eight months of no responses, John wrote one last letter to his dad asking why he never responded. Still, John never received an answer. He was full of bitterness and anger, and he stopped writing his dad assuming he just didn’t care.
Two months passed, and John never received a letter from his father. While shopping in Louisville, he ran into a distant cousin. During the course of their conversation, John mentioned to his cousin about his father’s lack of response. Again, the bitterness and anger came through in his voice. Out of nowhere, John’s cousin interrupted him, and asked, “John, you do know that your dad can’t read or write, don’t you?” Shame flooded John’s face as he realized that in 18 years, he never noticed that his dad couldn’t read or write. He begged his cousin to find someone to help his dad.
For weeks after their conversation, John couldn’t help but be depressed about how he had acted. He was so ashamed that he couldn’t bring himself to write another letter to his father. John finally received a letter from his hometown. There was no return address on the envelope, but he could tell where it was from by the postmark. He quickly ripped into the envelope and unfolded the letter. There on the paper, as if written from a child’s innocent hand:
John’s dad didn’t have a phone, so he wrote his dad letters twice a week. His letters were full of stories about the new people he was meeting and his job. Through all of the writing though, John’s dad never wrote him back. After nearly eight months of no responses, John wrote one last letter to his dad asking why he never responded. Still, John never received an answer. He was full of bitterness and anger, and he stopped writing his dad assuming he just didn’t care.
Two months passed, and John never received a letter from his father. While shopping in Louisville, he ran into a distant cousin. During the course of their conversation, John mentioned to his cousin about his father’s lack of response. Again, the bitterness and anger came through in his voice. Out of nowhere, John’s cousin interrupted him, and asked, “John, you do know that your dad can’t read or write, don’t you?” Shame flooded John’s face as he realized that in 18 years, he never noticed that his dad couldn’t read or write. He begged his cousin to find someone to help his dad.
For weeks after their conversation, John couldn’t help but be depressed about how he had acted. He was so ashamed that he couldn’t bring himself to write another letter to his father. John finally received a letter from his hometown. There was no return address on the envelope, but he could tell where it was from by the postmark. He quickly ripped into the envelope and unfolded the letter. There on the paper, as if written from a child’s innocent hand:
I luv U sun
- dad
As much as we want to believe we know what someone is going through, we can never know the whole situation. Judgement has no value. Our job is to be people of compassion and openness. When we are open, imagine the world we can change around us.
