life can frustrating attimes without a partner

[Honsolomon]

And God said, Adam needs a partner, it wont be good for him to be alone , so he makes him fall asleep and took his rib to form him a partner....
Life sometimes seem completely useless when all a man could achieve is for himself and no body to share feelings, word of God and intimacy with. The word of God says go into the world and multiply, i believe Gods purpose for me is to have offsprings and build a family to the Glory of his name but its frustrating when u cant find a good partner after alot of dedicated time of prayer and fasting. Please i need your prayers, it easy to just pick up anyone and get married to her, but if shes not Gods will the marriage with crash in two weeks..... Thank you and God bless..

 

[Ugly]

You have succeeded in contradicting yourself. You You say it's frustrating to find a good partner, but then go on to talk about if someone is God's will. If you are concerned about Gods will then why are you actively seeking? Long as you keep active in a job around others and church or other social areas then there should be no need to seek and pray and fast. God will bring you the right person, at the right time. Will prayer and fasting really speed up God's will? And if it is already His will then shouldn't your prayer simply be to recognize the person God brings you, at the time He brings them? Not for Him to bring them. Because His will will happen with or without your prayers.

Also, i know many people love to use that scripture, of Adam, as an evidence that people are 'meant' to be married, but this was the creation of the human species. Not a promise that all, or even most, will or should be married. You have to apply meaning that is not there to use that to support the idea that it is meant for all of humanity. God was simply creating, and explaining His reasons. It is the only part of the entire creation story that i see people isolating to base a belief off of. Why would God make that the only part of the creation story that is a separate message and promise to all of humanity? He wouldn't.
Paul himself discouraged marriage, except for those who can't control their sex drives. Why, then, would Paul discourage marriage if he were living under the 'knowledge' that God intends for people to marry? He wouldn't.

If your life seems useless that's an issue with your heart and mind, not your marital status. I get that it's nice to have someone to share things with, but if your life feels that empty then there is a problem within yourself.
And our life and goals should be for God, not for self.

And this is coming from a 41 year old man who has never married, but has desired to be married since he was a child. So i am not ignorant of the feelings, but i have also been through it all and discovered the wrong beliefs and pitfalls of this kind of thinking.

 

[Honsolomon]

Ugly... Thanks God bless you

 

[Chey60]

Paul himself discouraged marriage, except for those who can't control their sex drives. Why, then, would Paul discourage marriage if he were living under the 'knowledge' that God intends for people to marry? He wouldn't.

If your life seems useless that's an issue with your heart and mind, not your marital status. I get that it's nice to have someone to share things with, but if your life feels that empty then there is a problem within yourself.
And our life and goals should be for God, not for self.

And this is coming from a 41 year old man who has never married, but has desired to be married since he was a child. So i am not ignorant of the feelings, but i have also been through it all and discovered the wrong beliefs and pitfalls of this kind of thinking.[/QUOTE]


There is nothing wrong with praying....a man of God should pray for a wife if he does not have the gift of not needing a help meet. Paul had that gift...he always made sure all of us knew that.. and he was right...marriage is difficult and you will have trouble. However, marriage is a gift. God made it as a parallel between Himself and us.... Jesus is the groom and we are the bride...
Also Marriage will make you Christ like if you endure the hard ships.....and will bless you if you stand firm and fight the enemy that will try to come between you. If marriage wasn't not a blessing, the enemy wouldn't try to stand against it.
Marriage isn't just for sex and it's not just for companionship there is a bigger picture with marriage.

GOD HIMSELF said it's not good for man to be alone...
Paul wasn't God though he did have wisdom and spoke with the holy spirit in many things...the words about marriage came from him and not from God as he said time and time again.. "The Lord says, not I...or I say, not the Lord"

Also, I wouldn't discourage a brother to not pray and fast... fasting however should not be to get something from God but to hear His voice more clearly...to train your body to fight it's desires.
But praying? this brother can pray for these things all he wants..
the main thing is... and now this part we agree with ...his life wasn't created to be useless...and marriage won't change that...
and if it is God's will..then he will have a partner and maybe his place in life is to be a wonderful husband and father and to train his children like that.
Also...though yes we should live our life for God and not self, even Paul would agree if the man burns for desire for a woman to be in his life, he should marry....and as you said, to be in the right places...
until then, I would say to the brother...as you kind of did ... "take delight in the Lord and HE will give you the desires of your heart"

blessings my brothers

 

[Chey60]

Also, i know many people love to use that scripture, of Adam, as an evidence that people are 'meant' to be married, but this was the creation of the human species. Not a promise that all, or even most, will or should be married. You have to apply meaning that is not there to use that to support the idea that it is meant for all of humanity. God was simply creating, and explaining His reasons. It is the only part of the entire creation story that i see people isolating to base a belief off of. Why would God make that the only part of the creation story that is a separate message and promise to all of humanity? He wouldn't.
.

the scripture that was quote about not good for man to be alone and needing a help meet was not made up by humans...so I hope I am not misunderstanding what you mean.

BUT not everyone HAS to be married no...and some have the gift of celibacy (or being a eunich by choice like Paul as scripture says)..
you may be one of them..
but I will say the majority of men, need a help meet and God will send that to them when they are ready

 

[cinder]

the scripture that was quote about not good for man to be alone and needing a help meet was not made up by humans...so I hope I am not misunderstanding what you mean.

BUT not everyone HAS to be married no...and some have the gift of celibacy (or being a eunich by choice like Paul as scripture says)..
you may be one of them..
but I will say the majority of men, need a help meet and God will send that to them when they are ready

2 things here: we need to be careful about how we use the word gift when talking about singleness, otherwise we create a two tiered system like we think God gives some singles a special gift to be single well while others he just leaves floundering for 20, 30, 40+ years waiting for their mate to come along. Celibacy is never mentioned as some sort of spiritual gift, it's just the state of being single is a gift just as the state of being married is a gift (and both have their unique benefits and limitations).

Secondly, this whole when you're ready God will bring you someone to marry idea is extremely insulting and dismissive to singles. It's basically a blame the victim tactic where you tell them they aren't married because they aren't good enough yet. We all need to stop saying this and accepting it. Surely we've seen enough bad marriages and bad relationships to know that it has very little to do with being "ready" and sometimes being single is a sign of being stable and mature enough to not dive into an unwise or unhealthy relationship.

 

[wwjd_kilden]

Nowhere in the bible does it say that God has someone for everyone.
As a matter of fact, few of the people in the bible seem to have been married (especially the NT).

I find that the times that I long the most for "someone special" is when I feel alone. I don't know if it's that way with you, but if it is: Look for something else to fill that gap. Spend time with God, with family and with friends. Maybe do volunteer work.

 

[GaryA]

If your life seems useless that's an issue with your heart and mind, not your marital status. I get that it's nice to have someone to share things with, but if your life feels that empty then there is a problem within yourself.
And our life and goals should be for God, not for self.

True, but sometimes it seems like having someone to share life with would 'enable' [ certain things ] that don't seem to be achievable without the 'stabilizing' daily presence of a best-friend life partner.

And this is coming from a 41 year old man who has never married, but has desired to be married since he was a child.

54, "sounds very familiar"...

 

[Tintin]

Nowhere in the bible does it say that God has someone for everyone.
As a matter of fact, few of the people in the bible seem to have been married (especially the NT).

I find that the times that I long the most for "someone special" is when I feel alone. I don't know if it's that way with you, but if it is: Look for something else to fill that gap. Spend time with God, with family and with friends. Maybe do volunteer work.

I don't know if I'd go so far as to say few people in the Bible were married. Most of God's people who had children were married. That's how it was done (and how it should be done).

 

[GandalfTheWhite]

Nowhere in the bible does it say that God has someone for everyone.
As a matter of fact, few of the people in the bible seem to have been married (especially the NT).

Maybe the focus was not on their marriage but rather on Jesus' journey on earth but it is an interesting observation.

 

[Chey60]

Maybe the focus was not on their marriage but rather on Jesus' journey on earth but it is an interesting observation.

I agree...it isn't until later that we discover Peter was married and his wife a follower.
I think , like you, scripture focused more on what they were doing with Jesus, what they did while waiting for the Holy Spirit and what they did after Jesus ascension
and how to live life in the HS

unless you count Paul who reminded us constantly of his singlehood he was so completely happy with

Chey

 

[Chey60]

2 things here: we need to be careful about how we use the word gift when talking about singleness, otherwise we create a two tiered system like we think God gives some singles a special gift to be single well while others he just leaves floundering for 20, 30, 40+ years waiting for their mate to come along. Celibacy is never mentioned as some sort of spiritual gift, it's just the state of being single is a gift just as the state of being married is a gift (and both have their unique benefits and limitations).

Secondly, this whole when you're ready God will bring you someone to marry idea is extremely insulting and dismissive to singles. It's basically a blame the victim tactic where you tell them they aren't married because they aren't good enough yet. We all need to stop saying this and accepting it. Surely we've seen enough bad marriages and bad relationships to know that it has very little to do with being "ready" and sometimes being single is a sign of being stable and mature enough to not dive into an unwise or unhealthy relationship.

First, I am very careful to quote scripture take away...
like the one about singlness being a gift quoted from 1 Corinthians 7:7
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]6 I say this as a concession, not as a command.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]7 But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.

Paul is saying for him singleness is a gift.

Now does this mean it's a gift for those WANTING a spouse 10, 30 or 50 years long? no..if they had this gift of singleness they wouldn't be counting the years being single.

the gift is not needing to be married or wanting to be married..
that is not the same thing as being single for years craving a spouse


you are reading a whole lot into what I wrote..and when I wrote it..or who and what I Wrote it about..
you are definitely bringing your own dishes to my table for sure..taking it completely out of context..

I Was talking to someone who was razzing the guy about wanting a spouse..and when I said "when he is ready" for good reason..

I Won't stop saying the truth in the light of scripture.
God is either captain of the vessel or He's not..
and if He is, He knows what He is doing..
and people that are single are single for a reason (whether it's their desire and gift or not) and people that are married are married for a reason..
it's just the way it is..

Chey




[/FONT]

 

[OneFaith]

And God said, Adam needs a partner, it wont be good for him to be alone , so he makes him fall asleep and took his rib to form him a partner....
Life sometimes seem completely useless when all a man could achieve is for himself and no body to share feelings, word of God and intimacy with. The word of God says go into the world and multiply, i believe Gods purpose for me is to have offsprings and build a family to the Glory of his name but its frustrating when u cant find a good partner after alot of dedicated time of prayer and fasting. Please i need your prayers, it easy to just pick up anyone and get married to her, but if shes not Gods will the marriage with crash in two weeks..... Thank you and God bless..

The command given to ADAM has been fulfilled- the earth is completely filled with people, and over-populated at that. Do not get married JUST to have children- not everyone is cut out to be a parent. Do not get married JUST to have a wife- not everyone is cut out to be a spouse. These are very serious relationships and lifetime commitments- you don't get married as a matter of duty, you get married because you're in love with that person and wish to share everything in your life with them.

Having a wife is a grand responsibility- as a husband you have to care for her as you care for your own body, and be willing to die in order to save her. You don't go into it thinking "What can she do for me." No, it's "What can I do for her." And likewise, she should be thinking what she can do to show love to her husband. If the focas is on pleasing yourself, then it's not love.

You dont give marriage a test a test run for two weeks- that's what dating is for, marriage is for life.

 

[Tintin]

The command given to ADAM has been fulfilled- the earth is completely filled with people, and over-populated at that. Do not get married JUST to have children- not everyone is cut out to be a parent. Do not get married JUST to have a wife- not everyone is cut out to be a spouse. These are very serious relationships and lifetime commitments- you don't get married as a matter of duty, you get married because you're in love with that person and wish to share everything in your life with them.

Having a wife is a grand responsibility- as a husband you have to care for her as you care for your own body, and be willing to die in order to save her. You don't go into it thinking "What can she do for me." No, it's "What can I do for her." And likewise, she should be thinking what she can do to show love to her husband. If the focas is on pleasing yourself, then it's not love.

You dont give marriage a test a test run for two weeks- that's what dating is for, marriage is for life.

Don't buy into the evolutionary-based paranoia. The earth is not overpopulated. We could cater for a few more billion people, at least. It's that there's a very uneven distribution of resources. Human greed is the real problem here. And that all stems from the disease of sin.

 

[cinder]

First, I am very careful to quote scripture take away...
like the one about singlness being a gift quoted from 1 Corinthians 7:7
6 I say this as a concession, not as a command.7 But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.

Paul is saying for him singleness is a gift.

Now does this mean it's a gift for those WANTING a spouse 10, 30 or 50 years long? no..if they had this gift of singleness they wouldn't be counting the years being single.

the gift is not needing to be married or wanting to be married..
that is not the same thing as being single for years craving a spouse

So ummmm where in that passage does it specifically say that singleness is only a gift if you like being single? Those who are single and don't want to be are single just the same. If anything Paul is talking about the state of being single or married in that passage, not the enjoyment or lack thereof of that state.

I Was talking to someone who was razzing the guy about wanting a spouse..and when I said "when he is ready" for good reason..

I Won't stop saying the truth in the light of scripture.
God is either captain of the vessel or He's not..
and if He is, He knows what He is doing..
and people that are single are single for a reason (whether it's their desire and gift or not) and people that are married are married for a reason..
it's just the way it is..

Yet scripture is full of people doing things that God has forbidden and going against his will. The truth of scripture is that " all we like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way" so we can't tell every single that they are single (or single again after abandonment or a horrible divorce) because it's a specific decision from God that they were somehow not ready or deserving of that relationship. Closer to the truth would be that God's decision in the process was to give people free will and people used that will to sin. God's still the captain and can guide you out of the mess of sin and hurt, but he didn't choose to make anyone sin. (And I bet the blind man from John 9 would tell us that even when it is a specific reason from God that something bad happens, that doesn't make it easy to accept and be ok with).

And this isn't meant to be a personal attack on you, it's a challenge to the stupid things we say and claim to believe as Christians that have some pretty dismissive, cruel, and destructive consequences when carried out to their logical ends. Because God loves and values the Cains and Esaus of the world just as much as he loves the Abels and Jacobs of the world, but it sure is hard for them to see it when it seems all of God's blessings go to others.