Living on your own

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Rachel20

Senior Member
May 7, 2013
1,639
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Hey everyone,

This is a thread directed towards singles. However if you are married and have experienced going through the decision making processes of living alone, I do welcome your input.

So without going into too many details -

I am relocating to a place where I do not know anyone. Also, I have never really lived on my own before. I always had a support group and easy access for all my needs. I never really needed to fend for myself by cooking, cleaning or anything of that sort.

From conversations with people who have gone through a similar route, most of them advise living with others as roommates or any other communal situation.

Being with female roommates would be a great plus point and I spent a lot of time finding a few people who might be of a similar bent of mind.

Unfortunately, I find that I may be far too particular and conscientious with my requirements than others. Convenience and the fulfillment of my needs comes at a higher price than most people were willing to shell out for.

This leaves me with the option of living alone vs living in a house with a mixed gender possibility. I am not for the latter because of security concerns.

Or I would have to compromise on my requirements and settle down to adjust with a few people.

*************************


I would rather live in an apartment complex with security and a close proximity to my places of interest. I am willing to even pay more for convenience and ease.

However from conversations from many people, some of whom have been living away, it has been mostly discouragement for living in a studio apartment or a 1 bedroom by myself.

The place gets really cold during winter - I expect snowfall and grey weather and it sounds very depressing. I would probably get very lonely.

All of this has really confused and troubled me. I have every intention after I land, to find a good church family that could offer me a support network and I think I would have plenty of opportunities to be social with other young people.

My only concern is that I am spending way too much money than the average person and whether I was splurging out too much on lavish accommodation living and thereby having to cut corners for other social events.

From conversations from people, those social events would involve clubbing to downtown places, eating out at restaurants and other stuff - which I am not really too excited about.

My idea of fun would be traveling to other places, even though I had visited this part of the country some time before.

My family supports my idea of living alone and they would rather I never even worried about the financial aspect of it all.

Part of me thinks this is what stepping out in faith in God would be. To trust Him that I can do this on my own and if I have the means, I should go for this option.

Part of me is really, really scared. This part just wants to say - "never mind. I quit."

I've come so far (with God's grace), that I know I don't want to do that.

This has all been very stressful and hard. It's tough to move to a completely foreign location, out of your comfort zone, without awareness of anything.

It is an adventure and it does require being brave...

I do want to hear if anyone has gone through something similar and can offer some advice or experience. If you live alone, what are the pros and cons.

If you stay with others, what are the pros and cons. What do you think would be the wise thing to do - if you moved thousands and thousands of miles away from home.

Thanks!
 
Someone have read in the bible that where we live has been predestined. I just cant find the exact verse. You should pray about it. And listen to the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Follow what your heart truly desires for when your plans are pleasing to God He will grant the desires of your heart. Be happy whatever choice you make because all things work together for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.
 
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Roommates are difficult. There are positives, of course, but negatives, too. So many people have been burned financially by roommates, have added stress, have conflict and chaos...so much...especially if one is a Christian and their roommate is not...or is, but believes differently on foundational things. I'd recommend finding a roommate through your church and making sure that you are very prayerful and careful about any large roommate decisions you make. A roommate definitely keeps you safer, but one must not compromise.

As for co-ed living, no. The Bible tells us that we are to not even have a hint of immorality. Single men and women living in the same house together is more than a 'hint'. Plus, temptation is so much easier to give in to when one has ease of access. So, no. Just no.
 
I desperately want a place of my own. No sharing.
In Norway, dorms typically are rented by teens / young adults, and they typically like late nights and loud music.
(In Scotland, the people above me were mostly qiet, but when they did party, I sometimes wondered if I should call the police, they were fighting so much. In Norway, they played loud music every night)

It depends what you can get. Sharing with only one person (that you know) might be an option?

If you do live by yourself, you could always go to a cafe, library etc and meet people there.
 
Thank you for the reps Rachel. I like your posts too and also the thoughts you posted on some of my threads before. When I make decisions as long as my intentions are noble, I don't worry about results, instead I rely on God and His promises. And most of my desires even those that seem not sensible, God fulfills them sometimes with bonus or with cherries on top. If God wants to bless you, He does it extravagantly because it is His nature. Sometimes im careful what I wish for that I might be overwhelmed when God fulfills it.

No one can imagine what God has prepared for those who love Him. That means it is beyond words and imagination. God is so amazing

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I happen to enjoy living alone. I make the rules and no one is there to break them. LOL There are no other opinions to consider, that alone is spectacular. To each their own I guess.
 
Thanks for your responses :)

After a lot of discussion with family and loved ones, I decided on a place... and I think it is amazing.

As Tinkerbell posted - I have decided to trust God and be happy about my choices. It is His blessing and His grace to be where I am. ^_^

I love Him and I know He loves me and HE IS SO GOOD. I am so grateful.

So Yay!
 
Hang in there:/ it is rough. It can be like birthing pains, much good can come out of it. I am living it and it is a daily
struggle. I use the Through the Word App. Every day.
 
This isn't as easy as it once was. I used to be okay with it, but I really yearn for companionship now.

But I still need time to myself.