Looking for a traditional lawnchair

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zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
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I'm not just going to settle for the first lawnchair that comes along. I'm looking for a lawnchair that even though is on the lawn, is not of the lawn. A lawnchair that reflects traditional values, not one that looks like it was designed for ikea. What exactly is a traditional lawnchair? If a lawnchair has a traditional appearance but has an electric reclining feature, is it still considered traditional? Many will say it is not, but where do we draw the line??

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I know of a lawn chair you would like but it wasn't very traditional. The owner tied weather balloons to it and flew it a few thousand feet in the air. No I'm not kidding - He even got a Darwin Award honorable mention.

But despite the lack of traditional lawn chair values I really think you should give it a chance. It might be the one.
 
Oh... How I long for a traditional lawn chair! They just don't make 'em like they use too. I want it to be traditional, but not too traditional. Ya know what I mean?
 
Yes, the lawnchair must be traditional in a supportive and comfortable way - and positioned within reach of the icebox.

But not so traditional that my leg gets tangled up in its webbing - that is clingy.
 
My problem is that I can never find a lawnchair that will do exactly as I tell it to. Lawnchairs that do not follow my orders and submit to my whim and will are not traditional enough. I don't understand what the problem is, since I'm a Godly, Christian man. That means everything I say or do regarding lawn furniture is unerringly right and blessed by the Lord, and any lawnchair that's truly God-fearing should submit to my authority without question, and yet I still find chairs that only have one way of folding, or have two hinges instead of three. Some collapse inward like an umbrella, and that is NOT what I command them to do.

It's so difficult to find a 1st Peter 3 kind of lawnchair.
 
Decisions, decisions. What will my lawn chair wear today.....

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Isn't that darling! It's drawing my bath....

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O traditional lawn chair, wherefore art thou? My legs are tired, and I need a big strong lawn chair to undergird me.
 
Just make sure it is a traditional lawn chair-- not an antique lawn chair-- it might be comfortable for awhile... but then it will break and crush your dreams :P
 
it does not get more traditional than this, though it fails your "on the lawn but not of the lawn" test on a certain level.

Sitting-Rock.jpg
 
PoetMary said:
As I kneel humbly by its side,
my lawnchair brushes underneath my chin
and whispers, "Make me a sandwich" against my skin.
Click to expand...

Okay. This thread is done, because PoetMary has officially won it.

Brilliant.
Magnificent.
Sheer genius.

You win everything, my friend.
 
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