Hi Danja.
I went thru a time of depression when I was 17 and 18 real bad. If I could give advice I would say don't believe your thoughts all the time. Our sense of being, when its just by itself without thinking, just that I am-ness feeling is what we truly are. There was a psychologist who said it is, " thoughts without a thinker". The mind is like a movie screen. There can be big explosions or oceans of water on the screen but the screen itself does not get burnt, the screen doesn't become wet either, it remains what it is. This too shall pass. I'll give a prayer Danja. Oh lastly, have the courage to reach out to another if your real real down. Others want to talk just as much as you you'd be surprised.