Our pastor told our congregation yesterday that he is stepping down from being a senior pastor effective January 4th. He got a job in the corporate world after being a pastor in his own ministry for 31 years. He started the ministry of this church on his own, started in a school building, years later moved to a bigger building, and 2 years ago found this new church building we are currently in and purchased it and has been doing fine here. He told my husband (who he is GREAT friends with) at dinner the day before he told the congregation. He wanted to do this because they have such a special bond - and in a year since we found this church, he has completely been a major part in changing my husbands beliefs, faith, character and life. He and my pastor went on mission trips together, and even went on a prep trip alone, just the two of them. They can talk about anything and they text each other daily about sports, etc ... we go have dinner with him and his wife, kids, etc. I was shocked, my husband was shocked, etc. He told us that he needed change - that it wasn't preaching that he was not enjoying any longer, but it's the people. People gripe about everything. You have an event, the same 8 people volunteer for everything (including us) and if something does not go right or as someone likes it, you hear griping, griping, griping. Everyone wants something for free, but no one wants to give back. After 31 years, i am sure it gets quite old. We are so happy for our pastor/friend because he is so happy to finally be making a change. His family is happy. But deep down, its so painful and hurtful to know that the head of our church of people is leaving. He ministers in a way that draws people in to think, listen, and GO and disciple to our world. It's a huge loss - and its really affecting me and my husband emotionally. I am sure its normal - but how do you just go from someone who drew you in and made you such a BIG part of their life and church family to having him step down and not knowing what direction your church will move in? As bad as this is to say, I feel like I've lost someone huge in my life, and although he will be around, and says he will still come to church and attend, like we do, it just seems that everything has changed and its really depressing. Does that make sense? How do you cope with it? Being a part of this church for the last year has improved our marriage, life and faith tenfold ... and I don't want that to change. It's scary in so many ways.
Losing our Pastor - Coping
- Thread starter Cindy12
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No. It doesnt make sense!
A man has stepped down and not God for heavens sakes!!
You trust God that he will bring another senior pastor and you lean on God for everything.
Dont make the steeple or this man your idle. Sorry,but thats how it reads to me! You have nothing to fear. God is the head of your household. It certainly isnt the senior pastor or the steeple! I dont get how this could be scary.
Blessings...
A man has stepped down and not God for heavens sakes!!
You trust God that he will bring another senior pastor and you lean on God for everything.
Dont make the steeple or this man your idle. Sorry,but thats how it reads to me! You have nothing to fear. God is the head of your household. It certainly isnt the senior pastor or the steeple! I dont get how this could be scary.
Blessings...
Its scary because we have 2 assistant pastors that when 1 preaches, people won't even come because he screams his head off and is so far above what most normal people can take in that it drives people out. When he is not screaming, he is crying. so he is not utilized as much. If you run the people off to other churches, your church dissolves. Some people aren't nearly as good about how they get a message across or how they can gather the flock together to go and minister to our world - and he was very good at doing so. I have been praying that God has a good pastor in mind already and that nothing changes - but its scary to me - okay, you agree its not normal for me to feel that way, but it doesn't change the fact that I do feel that way.
Thanks so much, it makes me feel like you totally understand how I am feeling! I do know its selfish of me to be afraid of what might happen next, but I am. Thanks for understanding.
M
Miri
Guest
People go through different seasons, nothing stays the same forever and
change is a normal part of life.
Some Christian leaders get to a point where they feel they have nothing else
to give, stepping down can pave the way for a fresh wave of God's work.
The real problems are when Christian leaders have nothing more to give and
they won't step down. Be thankful you have a good Christian leader who
has faithfully done the work set before him. By moving on God may open
up new work for him and take the church in a new direction.
As for your worries about a new pastor, pray about it.
change is a normal part of life.
Some Christian leaders get to a point where they feel they have nothing else
to give, stepping down can pave the way for a fresh wave of God's work.
The real problems are when Christian leaders have nothing more to give and
they won't step down. Be thankful you have a good Christian leader who
has faithfully done the work set before him. By moving on God may open
up new work for him and take the church in a new direction.
As for your worries about a new pastor, pray about it.
O
oldthennew
Guest
Cindy,
if your church is a true church, then your pastor is and never was the Head of the church -
hopefully he has discerned this and is proceeding in the path that the Lord has led him to follow....
pray for him and for his new journey, and let the Lord lead you and your church where He wills....
if your church is a true church, then your pastor is and never was the Head of the church -
hopefully he has discerned this and is proceeding in the path that the Lord has led him to follow....
pray for him and for his new journey, and let the Lord lead you and your church where He wills....
Possibly, rather than fearing getting a lousy preacher (and many certainly ARE), pray that you will see the jewels in whatever the new guy speaks. Even if it turns out there are only one or two sentences per sermon.
F
FreeNChrist
Guest
He is blessed, and has been blessed to have you and your husband as friends. I am a PK and can tell you for a fact that it is a very lonely position for many ministers. After 31 years I am sure he is ready for something new. And if you continue to be friends with him you haven't really lost what is most important.
P
popeye
Guest
A huge shaking is going on right now.
Shaking in fellowships,and in individuals.
Be lead of the Lord. Use this change as a springboard.
let it propel you instead of moving you.
Do not be "impressed" (not the right word),by what is happening. Instead purpose in your heart and mind to "ENJOY THE RIDE"
Shaking in fellowships,and in individuals.
Be lead of the Lord. Use this change as a springboard.
let it propel you instead of moving you.
Do not be "impressed" (not the right word),by what is happening. Instead purpose in your heart and mind to "ENJOY THE RIDE"
I totally understand how difficult this must be. It must be confusing having the senior pastor stand down.
I am praying that God will guide your church as they look for a new senior pastor.
I am praying that God will guide your church as they look for a new senior pastor.
D
Depleted
Guest
Our experience with independent churches is when the first pastor steps down, the second is a bit less. And the second one only last 2-5 years before leaving. Then the third is a bit less. Within three pastors it was no longer worth going to that church. Last I heard, it's five pastors later for that church, and they are no longer a believing church. It's just a place for upper-middle-class families to go on Sundays to feel better about themselves. (Sort of a Joel Olsteen kind of place, where feeling good is important, but God isn't.)
The problem is independent churches tend to find pastors from among the congregation or nearby independent churches, which, ultimately, end up being the people doing the griping. You say there are about eight people who do everything? What happens when they can't do it anymore? Because those are the people who will probably try to fill the pastor's shoes.
Rather why I prefer going to a denominational church. Our churches start with a neighborhood in need of a church, men trained to lead a church, families that travel to go to the main church but rather go locally and live in that neighborhood. Church plantings. Those folks then evangelize and help the neighborhood bringing more people to the Lord, until, eventually, that church gets too big for its seams, and needs to plant another church.
Add to that, no one is ever separated from the larger church. We group together, meet together, and make decisions together as one body. We call that the presbytery -- a circle of churches working together, yet meeting needs more locally.
How effective is it? Well, a bit more effective than the form of government our group meeting rules propelled as the American Government -- Congress. The rules for a presbytery was where the American forefathers came up with the rules for Congress, except for one big difference -- unlike Congressmen, our pastors cannot vote for their congregational issues. (Imagine your state Congressmen not being able to vote for a project in your state. Wouldn't that make Congress more accountable? And then imagine there is no President. That's what we look like on the national level.)
Your pastor started that church, so he will remain a member. That doesn't mean you and your hubby need to stay.
On the good side, this happens often and many believers survive it. We have.
This fun little cartoon isn't a Spiritual movie (It's only 15 minutes) but it has a lot to do with handling "change."
I first read the original book a long time ago, and only recently found they had made a movie of if. (IMHO, the book is better, but I know you younger people probably won't read it)
The opening is NOT indicative of the little film, so just suffer through that short part.
[video=youtube;16hxCB1Dvd4]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16hxCB1Dvd4[/video]
I first read the original book a long time ago, and only recently found they had made a movie of if. (IMHO, the book is better, but I know you younger people probably won't read it)
The opening is NOT indicative of the little film, so just suffer through that short part.
[video=youtube;16hxCB1Dvd4]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16hxCB1Dvd4[/video]
Funny, we used this video at the company I work for about processing/handling change. What a good refresher! Thanks for this.