Lana-Kay, I'm sorry to hear you feel lost, and as though the Lord is far from you, however the truth is He is not. He is right there with you now, He has never left you, He can't He promised He would never forsake or abandon you, and He cannot and will not ever break His word. I know that sometimes, probably most of the time, that initial feeling of when we first get saved can fade, and for some us, it can lead to questions, and sometimes even other problems can come in, or sometimes find them some old ones seeming reappear like weeds. Worse, we think because of all this, that God isn't pleased with us, or even worse that He might have cast us out, rejected us, but what I want you to know, to remember if you read this and never let this truth go, is all those thoughts that God would reject you, that He is far from you, doesn't accept you or love you are Lies. Plain and simple, feelings and emotions are useful, but in our broken world they always go up and down and they can play you false, deceive you, and other things can also use this opportunity to bring accusing thoughts to our minds that we are worthless, that God doesn't want us, is angry with us, doesn't love us, but all such things are untrue, illusions from the one who is the Accuser, Ha'Satan, the father of lies.
The truth is God has never abandoned you, He can no more abandon His covenant with you through His Son, sealed in His Son's own blood, then stop being God. Jesus Christ, the Son of God, died for you, for Lana-Kay, personally, and He was raised for you, personally, He defeated all the forces of sin, evil, darknesses and death, everything that threatens to hold you down, or de-humanize you or has hurt you, He overcame in the cross. We He shouted, 'It is Finished!' in triumph it was, it was and is done, nailed to that cross, defeated and destroyed, and He raised you with Him to the new resurrection Life when He burst out that tomb. You are a new creation in Him, whether you feel it or not, He has destroyed sin, evil, death and the enemy's claim, only He has a claim on you, and He not letting go
, through Him you are always accepted with the Father, and He always there with you, ready to bare you burdens with you, comfort you, strengthen you by His Spirit and will bring you through. Jesus is Lord, and none and nothing else, and He has declared and set you free, and you are free, nothing can touch you or snatch you from His Hands, always interceding for you, and He will finish the good work He began in you.
So just turn to Him, He is right there with you in this, whether you feel Him or not, He has promised that He never leave you, and that He will always be faithful to you, and He will always accept you and forgive you in Jesus Christ, He is eternally faithful to you, and to Him you have infinite value, you are his precious daughter. And allow Him to bear these burdens, and once confessed know you are forgiven, and never accept thoughts that come to your mind that your are not, or that that anger or hate can either keep you distant from Him or have power over you, rather ignore those accusing lies, because that is what they are, just deceiving noise trying to detract you, and make you focus on them and Jesus, and instead give all to Him, and make the choice every moment if necessary, minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day to choose to believe Him and What He says, to believe the one Who is the Truth, and not the accusing lies that raise themselves against the knowledge of God. And never fear having any front on before your heavenly Father, He loves you, and is ready to embrace you in His arms as soon as you turn to Him again, just like the Father to the Prodigal Son, don't let the deceiving thoughts keep you from joining in the feast He has all laid out for you
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And finally know that ever time you do this, every time you make the choice to trust Him and His eternal faithfulness to you, that you are completely forgiven, loved, accepted, redeemed and His own dear daughter, that He is always with you, and will never abandon you and is there to bear your burdens with you, when to believe Him and not any lies of thought, feeling or accusation that goes against this, He is there cheering you own, pointing you out the hosts of heaven, declaring you a champion in His eyes. Never doubt just how proud your heavenly Father is of you
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I hope these posts in response help you, and I hope you find this place to be one of loving and supportive fellowship, which God uses to bring you into relationship with mature, loving and wise Christians who can be a source of support and council and I pray that He has or does plant you into a church community where you live that is charactered by love and strong and honest fellowship, with whom you could open up to, and let them come alongside you in this, pray with you, and just be there in love and fellowship through it.
God bless and Welcome
