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I'll begin by saying I feel I've come to a major crossroads. The first time I accepted Christ as my savior I was a young kid and I still remember the day. I don't recall ever feeling different. I experienced night terrors of demons threatening to kill me as a kid. I accepted God's reality then but never acted upon it or gave it much thought. I strayed away as a teenager but have reaffirmed my faith as an adult. The problem now is the more I desire to follow Christ and have him work through me the more I feel distance from him. I am frustrated on a daily basis about this separation. The reality of God seems to elude me and I'm left with this feeling that he is not there, even though I know logic says otherwise, and I believe the bible when it says that the very rocks will cry out when it seems like no one wants to acknowledge his reality. I feel lost in a world concerned only about this life. Yet here I am, worrying about what comes after. The problem is, I trust Jesus for his salvation and have accepted it many times. I know this decision is based on faith but I struggle to assimilate that and find myself still fearing death and go through life anxious. I've prayed many times to be free from fear and anxiety. I am in dire need of assurance. I just feel like something is missing, something I'm not grasping. I ask God for wisdom in all this but I've yet to discover it. I'm praying God shows me his purpose for my life. I'm at my wits end so to speak. Any input or prayer is appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to stop and read.