Make Me a Servant

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perdonato

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I don't really know where else to post this but I wanted to ask/post/contemplate and this just seems the only place even semi-fitting. But... as the lenten season is upon us, I am participating for the first time ever. (Long story short is that I was raised in a background which didn't support any of these traditional aspects and I'm...well... let's just leave it there.)

I prayed about participating and felt like this would be a good thing for me. Through conversations I concluded that it would be best to find things that I wanted to change long-term. One of my ultimate vices is pride... and I'd like to get better at conquering it, so I have decided to try to practice humility in new ways (which includes, but is not limited to, washing dishes for housemates, keeping the house clean and doing it all without looking for anything in return and also knowing that there will be times they still point fingers at me for a dirty dish or something.)

So I got home today and was washing these dishes (I'd washed a ton of dishes last night and for whatever reason they were multiplied again today.) As I was washing them I could feel bitterness and resentment over the thoughts that I know I will still be blamed for various things going wrong around the house. I kept thinking of how much more I might be walked on and used... so I started praying. Thinking... I need to be practicing humility with joy - and service with joy. I then asked if it was really a true service if my heart wasn't full of joy.

So I'm wondering... is it healthy to practice serving in such a state of bitterness/fear? And why might one have bitterness and resentment built up in oneself?

As I came back to my room this song came into my head that we sang when I was growing up, and I feel like this is my prayer...

Lord make me a servant, Lord make me like You. For You are a servant, make me one, too. Mold me and shape me to be just like You, Lord make me a servant, Lord make me like You.

Surely, as Solomon said, there is nothing new under the sun and at least one other person has experienced this type of situation in one circumstance or another... so if you have thoughts, stories, or whatever to share... I'd love to read :-)
 
If you're still doing said service even though it makes you feel bad or negative things, then maybe that says even more. Maybe that is true service...to serve regardless of how it makes you feel, what you can get out of it, etc.

Who are you really doing the service for? Is it for God? Is it truly for them (the people), or is it really for yourself in a sense? Maybe it's even a combination. (I'm not expecting you to answer that here, unless you just want to.)
Regardless of the answer, you are learning and will continue to learn something from this I'm sure.

I can't think of when serving others would be unhealthy, unless you're enabling them (Yeah, you know my learning curve on that one. ;)).
They don't have to know how you feel. They could just see the service. So maybe you have to take "you" out of the equation, in a sense.
 
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True love serves even when it feels taken advantage of. Ask any wife/mother/husband/dad. :) There are days when you really don't feel like it, don't feel appreciated, know you're just going to have to turn right around and do it again. But you do it because you love those you are serving. Maybe that's the key. It's not in the DOING of the service, it's in the LOVE behind the service. When love takes over, pride crumbles.
 
Read 1 Kings 17 re Elijah and the Widow.

Though she wasn't even a Jew (therefore didn't believe in Yahweh or the prophets He chose), Elijah asked her to be obediant to him by feeding him with her last meal. You don't think she got bitter, wishing that meal went to her starving son instead of to a strange man? You don't think her neighbors probably gossiped that she a single woman was housing a foriegn male enemy?
The thing I found amazing was that the extra oil and flour came after being obedient. I know God loves a cheerful giver, but he also certainly doesn't turn away people who are sceptical, confused, a little bitter, yet still remain obdient to his purposes. Look at Moses, hes a classice example of a person who didn't enjoy the calling God gave him, yet he did it to the best of his ability.

Also, I think there are other, better ways to work on pride than doing housework for others, you don't want your room mates treating you like a doormat and abusing what you're trying to do.

Think of this verse - "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord" 1 Cor 1:31.
If you have issues with pride it means you regularly place yourself and your accomplishments and worthiness above Jesus. If you want to work on humility, remind yourself, that it is He who saved your life. All who have sinned have fallen short of the glory of God. That means you deserve to go to Hell, if it weren't for the brutal innocent murder of Jesus. Look in areas of your life, where you need to take yourself out of the equation and instead put God in, and remiind yourself, that every good thing that has ever come into your life came from Him. Think of times where you have made severe mistakes in your life, and you know you deserved harsher consequnces, yet God showed mercy on you and gave you grace.

Also I recommend you watch 'Passion of the Christ' by yourself, and during the entire movie never turn away or close your eyes at the violence. Force yourself to see, what your sin looks like on a perfect sinless man. I did this and it was a very humbling experience, and I grieved and repented over my pride. We can read about the crucifiction so many times in the bible and never be horrified by the words because its so easy to look at it objectively when we should be looking at it objectively.

Lastly, start by boasting about God's power and telling Him about it. If you are proud of Jesus who is so high above you, then you are not boasting in yourself. Go out on a hike with your bible and without your phone, and just look at everything marvelous you see and credit it to God. Then go to an outdoor cafe and watch people walk by and thank God for every person that walks past and think about how God made every single one and desires for every single person to be his precious son or daughter. Then walk around where you live and thank him for every object, luxury or otherwise. Thank him for where you are right now in life regardless of whether or not its a hard season for you, since He has a plan and he is carrying it out.

Maybe for Lent you could spend the entire 40 days praying for anyone and everyone except yourself. Ask your Pastor what prayer needs the leadership team need. Also ask him if there is anyone in your church who is sick and needs prayer. Find out who in your church is doing missionary work and pray for them and what their doing. Pray for the new babies, pray for the rebellious in the church, pray for the elderly who are isolated from community, pray over sexual sin in your church, pray over the doctrine in your church, pray against demonic attack in your church.
 
perdonato said:
So I'm wondering... is it healthy to practice serving in such a state of bitterness/fear? And why might one have bitterness and resentment built up in oneself?

Lord make me a servant, Lord make me like You. For You are a servant, make me one, too. Mold me and shape me to be just like You, Lord make me a servant, Lord make me like You.
Click to expand...

One thing i have learned through experience, when you try to become a more Christlike person,
you will burn out and get bitterness. God sees you through His Son Jesus. He already sees
a Christlike person. You will have to settle it in your mind that you are already at max Holiness
and already at max Righteousness, because of what Jesus did. When you stop doing works
for yourself, in order to achieve a level of Christlikeness, and do them because you have a job
to do for the Lord, you will begin to be more productive.

As far as making you a servant, if you are saved, you are already one. To ask to be made a
servant, is like asking the boss, where you work, to hire you. Well, you were hired some time
back. Are youi going to work for a company in order to get hired?

Growth comes through reading the Bible, praying, trials, doing your job, and the experiences you
gain from them.

Keep in mind these things:
1. You been hired.
2. You were given a job to do
3. You going to get paid for doing the job
4. The Boss wants you to do the job
5. The Boss is pleased when you do the job.
6. The Boss expects you to rest from time to time so you don't get tired.
7. Work for the One who hired you.
 
Well, my understanding....

No, if you are seriously hurting another, beyond boundaries, because of your bitterness and fear, then no, but if you must press on, work to be done, cannot rest, take time to heal, and mend yourself or the relationship, it is a state of emergency, or someone's safety is at stake, then make the correct decision.

God is supposed to be with us, but this trite saying does not always work.

People fail us, their faith fails us, our own faith fails us, then what, follow Jesus commands, beyond our own human capability?

NO

You must take care of yourself, and others!

Mother's press forward! The president presses forward! Bitterness abounds, and it ruins children's lives, learn wrong attitudes and habits, and lots of other stuff that makes or breaks the world as it goes round and life goes on.

Is this a momentary decision, I mean quick, or one you must honestly, weigh the pros and cons, of dealing with bitterness and other negative emotions and what to do with them. Because though many christians blame the individual for these feelings, your could in reality be correct, you are hurting, and possibly hurting from someone else's fault, evil, sin, slowness, dumbness, or whatever reason!

You'll get it. Or the world ends, and life dies! Got it!
 
perdonato said:
I don't really know where else to post this but I wanted to ask/post/contemplate and this just seems the only place even semi-fitting. But... as the lenten season is upon us, I am participating for the first time ever. (Long story short is that I was raised in a background which didn't support any of these traditional aspects and I'm...well... let's just leave it there.)

I prayed about participating and felt like this would be a good thing for me. Through conversations I concluded that it would be best to find things that I wanted to change long-term. One of my ultimate vices is pride... and I'd like to get better at conquering it, so I have decided to try to practice humility in new ways (which includes, but is not limited to, washing dishes for housemates, keeping the house clean and doing it all without looking for anything in return and also knowing that there will be times they still point fingers at me for a dirty dish or something.)

So I got home today and was washing these dishes (I'd washed a ton of dishes last night and for whatever reason they were multiplied again today.) As I was washing them I could feel bitterness and resentment over the thoughts that I know I will still be blamed for various things going wrong around the house. I kept thinking of how much more I might be walked on and used... so I started praying. Thinking... I need to be practicing humility with joy - and service with joy. I then asked if it was really a true service if my heart wasn't full of joy.

So I'm wondering... is it healthy to practice serving in such a state of bitterness/fear? And why might one have bitterness and resentment built up in oneself?

As I came back to my room this song came into my head that we sang when I was growing up, and I feel like this is my prayer...

Lord make me a servant, Lord make me like You. For You are a servant, make me one, too. Mold me and shape me to be just like You, Lord make me a servant, Lord make me like You.

Surely, as Solomon said, there is nothing new under the sun and at least one other person has experienced this type of situation in one circumstance or another... so if you have thoughts, stories, or whatever to share... I'd love to read :-)
Click to expand...

Lord, make me a servant, please make me like you (Jesus washed the feet of the apostles). You are a servant, please make me one too. Lord, I know I am willing, do what you must do, to make me a servant, to make me like you.
----
Perdy, I can see you on a grand and glorious stage, conducting that song through a symphony of sound, lights, amazements, in a packed church house :)

----
If you can serve without murmuring, perdy, you have made yourself like Jesus, a true servant with your heart from Him leading you. :)

niceguyJ said:
If you're still doing said service even though it makes you feel bad or negative things, then maybe that says even more. Maybe that is true service...to serve regardless of how it makes you feel, what you can get out of it, etc.

Who are you really doing the service for? Is it for God? Is it truly for them (the people), or is it really for yourself in a sense? Maybe it's even a combination. (I'm not expecting you to answer that here, unless you just want to.)
Regardless of the answer, you are learning and will continue to learn something from this I'm sure.

I can't think of when serving others would be unhealthy, unless you're enabling them (Yeah, you know my learning curve on that one. ;)).
They don't have to know how you feel. They could just see the service. So maybe you have to take "you" out of the equation, in a sense.
Click to expand...

True.
Take 'you' out of the equation. Serving is all about helping others, nicestguy.

Trax said:
One thing i have learned through experience, when you try to become a more Christlike person,
you will burn out and get bitterness. God sees you through His Son Jesus. He already sees
a Christlike person. You will have to settle it in your mind that you are already at max Holiness
and already at max Righteousness, because of what Jesus did. When you stop doing works
for yourself, in order to achieve a level of Christlikeness, and do them because you have a job
to do for the Lord, you will begin to be more productive.

As far as making you a servant, if you are saved, you are already one. To ask to be made a
servant, is like asking the boss, where you work, to hire you. Well, you were hired some time
back. Are youi going to work for a company in order to get hired?

Growth comes through reading the Bible, praying, trials, doing your job, and the experiences you
gain from them.

Keep in mind these things:
1. You been hired.
2. You were given a job to do
3. You going to get paid for doing the job
4. The Boss wants you to do the job
5. The Boss is pleased when you do the job.
6. The Boss expects you to rest from time to time so you don't get tired.
7. Work for the One who hired you.
Click to expand...
----
LOL, you almost sound like Snackersmommy, but that would mean , 'The
BIG boss wants you to do the job.'

---
But , yes, traxxer, God sees us Christlike already. If we are saved, we have already answered the 'serv(e)ice call.

Good , good, good. You wouldn't happen to be a cat would you ? :D
 
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As one person responded to me through a private message I admitted that I was embarrassed by this post and was somewhat wishing it could be taken down since it's so... me me me. And vulnerable, to some degree.

I don't know if anybody was praying for my heart to change, but if you did, then it is already working... because today as I was washing dishes I was actually really excited to do them and to make people happy that their dishes had been done. So... yeah.

I really do appreciate these comments, even if I am a bit embarrassed by the post. Thanks for not ridiculing me too much!
 
perdonato said:
As one person responded to me through a private message I admitted that I was embarrassed by this post and was somewhat wishing it could be taken down since it's so... me me me. And vulnerable, to some degree.

I don't know if anybody was praying for my heart to change, but if you did, then it is already working... because today as I was washing dishes I was actually really excited to do them and to make people happy that their dishes had been done. So... yeah.

I really do appreciate these comments, even if I am a bit embarrassed by the post. Thanks for not ridiculing me too much!
Click to expand...

Most of us have been there.
(Ecc 1:9) The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.
 
perdonato said:
As one person responded to me through a private message I admitted that I was embarrassed by this post and was somewhat wishing it could be taken down since it's so... me me me. And vulnerable, to some degree.

I don't know if anybody was praying for my heart to change, but if you did, then it is already working... because today as I was washing dishes I was actually really excited to do them and to make people happy that their dishes had been done. So... yeah.

I really do appreciate these comments, even if I am a bit embarrassed by the post. Thanks for not ridiculing me too much!
Click to expand...

A wise christian knows to not be hastily critical of a brother/sister in Christ whose heart is truly seeking after the Lord, but to respond in love, my precious friend. If we do otherwise, our words can and will quickly come back to haunt us, huh? It can be very humbling indeed.

I love your passionate heart for the things of God <3
 
perdonato said:
As one person responded to me through a private message I admitted that I was embarrassed by this post and was somewhat wishing it could be taken down since it's so... me me me. And vulnerable, to some degree.

I don't know if anybody was praying for my heart to change, but if you did, then it is already working... because today as I was washing dishes I was actually really excited to do them and to make people happy that their dishes had been done. So... yeah.

I really do appreciate these comments, even if I am a bit embarrassed by the post. Thanks for not ridiculing me too much!
Click to expand...

I don't see this as a thread of embarrassment at all. Good christian God guys will admire you for being a servant, in word, as well as deed. That is the pinnacle of thought for what Jesus came to Earth to do, besides save us and heal us and rebuke and reproof (some) of us. Us= humans, of course. :)

The things that are good, milady, Perdy, are tough to do and are THE THINGS that Satan attacks, soooo, don't think for a second that you should be thinking you are selfish, THAT is Satan talking to you, the master of confusion and lies. God will NEVER put any guilt on your heart, of His good things. And what you say in this thread....is all very good . :)

There is ONLY one way this thread could have been better and has a chance of being any better.... and that is if you put all of everyone's words in GREEN :D

Jullianna said:
A wise christian knows to not be hastily critical of a brother/sister in Christ whose heart is truly seeking after the Lord, but to respond in love, my precious friend. If we do otherwise, our words can and will quickly come back to haunt us, huh? It can be very humbling indeed.

I love your passionate heart for the things of God <3
Click to expand...

______
Yes, and, adding what I said before, many will LOVE that kind of heart of servanthood, because it means so much to them, not one of which is the simple thing of showing him that YOU would make a GREAT MOM :) Not being mean either, saying you would be thought of as a slave to housework and the kids. No. Any good God guy WON'T think that way either. He will see THROUGH you and your servanthood, perdy, and, like Julieannie said but to change it some here is what a guy will say to you WHEN His timing is right for you...

I love your passionate heart for the things of God, perdy . Jesus washed the feet of the apostles, He was not off doing his own thing in his humanness, Jesus was choosing to help, heal, raise, exorcise, people to lives that were changing them, having them accept Christ surely was Christ's ultimate goal, which was not to come to the world to condemn it but to save it, and, IF you want to use this word in place of 'save,' you can.....

Serve :)
 
You should not be embarrased, to be honest I was wondering the same thing...I wish my heart was more humble and Christ-like. I have struggled with doing nice things for people who don't do nice things for me, who don't apreciate what I do...and it's not easy. As you, I have felt some kind of bitternes growing in my heart knowing that what I was doing meant nothing for them. I try to remember that I don't really deserve anything and that Christ gave me life that I didn't deserve. Don't feel alone in this :). I'm glad you've seen a change in your heart! I'm sure God helps the ones who seek his help. I appreciate that you opened up and shared this :) God bless you.
 
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