Marriage is falling apart

  • Thread starter Thread starter lilliefreak
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lilliefreak

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i got married for the 2nd time a year ago. it has been a nightmare. a month after getting married his statement to me was "i had the motivation to win you but not to keep you". now and again comments along this line keep coming. he says he is stressed, can't function and has nothing to offer the marriage. He has not financially supported the household at all and says he is not able to (but has 5k in a savings account in his name). a month ago he told me he had given up God and marriage. i asked him to leave. now he says the idea is to reconcile and move back home. but our only communication is texting. that is not a relationship. before he moved out, a plan was already in place where he would have his 3 teenage kids while his ex goes on vacation. she asked for him to stay at her house with them to make it more convenient. i disagreed with this arrangement but he spent 3 days trying to get me to agree. i wasnt budging. our marriage is already suffering enough without him going and staying in a house where he was married with children and all resided together for 15 years. anyway..in spite of my disagreement, he told his ex he would go and stay there. he said to me 'what have you got to lose?" and 'my staying there has no bearing on our marriage". what?? i have told him that if he follows through and stays there that, by this action of doing it, i would believe he is saying he does not want to reconcile. am i off my rocker? being unreasonable? should i be ok with this like he's telling me i should? oh..initially he also told me that the reason he probably told his ex that he would stay at her house was to get back at me because he and his daughter aren't getting along and he blames me for that. i am ready to hand him divorce papers if he stays there. help!!!!
 
Please don't think i'm just giving up quickly . we have been in counseling with our pastor for the entire year and even he is frustrated.