D
dhgfort
Guest
Sorry, I'm confused! I need to get used to this site. Well, I hope whoever they are reads my messages - they were from the heart!
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
B
BADDOG
Guest
Hi all not trying to be rude at all here ,,, but if something is over or dead its dead ,,,, end it and move on with your lives ,,, its tuff but there is life after divorce
M
MissCris
Guest
I can only assume you're not pleasuring him enough. You've been married six years and only have one daughter? The Lord says be fruitful and multiply. I'll pray that the Lord helps you realize this is your fault. Our god is a good god so I'm sure he will help you pleasure your husband more so he doesn't need to resort to pornography.
M
MissCris
Guest
I can only assume you're not pleasuring him enough. You've been married six years and only have one daughter? The Lord says be fruitful and multiply. I'll pray that the Lord helps you realize this is your fault. Our god is a good god so I'm sure he will help you pleasure your husband more so he doesn't need to resort to pornography.
That...um...
That might be a part of the problem, but just because they only have one child doesn't mean that...well, not everyone WANTS to pop out a kid every year :/
And when a man is addicted to pornography, "pleasuring" him more doesn't SOLVE the problem, even if it helps to abate it for a while.
K
kayem77
Guest
I can only assume you're not pleasuring him enough. You've been married six years and only have one daughter? The Lord says be fruitful and multiply. I'll pray that the Lord helps you realize this is your fault. Our god is a good god so I'm sure he will help you pleasure your husband more so he doesn't need to resort to pornography.
......SERIOUSLY !!??
How easy is to judge others and justify our sins...that's all I gotta say.
That...um...
That might be a part of the problem, but just because they only have one child doesn't mean that...well, not everyone WANTS to pop out a kid every year :/
And when a man is addicted to pornography, "pleasuring" him more doesn't SOLVE the problem, even if it helps to abate it for a while.
She never specified that he was addicted. Unless, I missed something.
She just acted like they're not having sex so he's resorting to porn. The correlation is not hard to see.
And you may not WANT to pop out a baby every year, but the Lord says be fruitful and multiply.
I didn't WANT to report my neighbor to the police because he worked on the Sabbath... :/
B
BADDOG
Guest
From my point of view your marrage is over ,,, no one gets married to end it ,,, thats just never the plan if it was we would never get married in the first place ,,, but the rain falls on the good and the bad alike ,,,, your choces are stick with this guy and have 6 more years of the same or more ,,, or end it and start over ,,,, you get one shot at this life and we have the right to be happy in the life we have ,,, and in this case your not
now the kids in here who are not married will tell you all sorts of rubbish ,,,, but this is your life not theres ,,, and you have to do the best you can for your daughter and yourself ,,,and from what you have posted ,,,,for me the marrage is dead ,,, i would place my daughter first in all this ,,, BUT its your life ,,, I WISH YOU WELL GOD BLESS
now the kids in here who are not married will tell you all sorts of rubbish ,,,, but this is your life not theres ,,, and you have to do the best you can for your daughter and yourself ,,,and from what you have posted ,,,,for me the marrage is dead ,,, i would place my daughter first in all this ,,, BUT its your life ,,, I WISH YOU WELL GOD BLESS
M
MissCris
Guest
I AM actually married...I've been almost exactly where she's at right now. I just want her to know that getting a divorce isn't the ONLY option, that marriages CAN be fixed.
From my point of view your marrage is over ,,, no one gets married to end it ,,, thats just never the plan if it was we would never get married in the first place ,,, but the rain falls on the good and the bad alike ,,,, your choces are stick with this guy and have 6 more years of the same or more ,,, or end it and start over ,,,, you get one shot at this life and we have the right to be happy in the life we have ,,, and in this case your not
now the kids in here who are not married will tell you all sorts of rubbish ,,,, but this is your life not theres ,,, and you have to do the best you can for your daughter and yourself ,,,and from what you have posted ,,,,for me the marrage is dead ,,, i would place my daughter first in all this ,,, BUT its your life ,,, I WISH YOU WELL GOD BLESS
Typing in a bigger font doesn't make you any wiser and it doesn't make your point any better.
C
CryMad
Guest
Update....... We are separated and getting a divorce. He is working on moving out and I am looking for a job.
Thank you all for your advice and encouragement! It turns out that he was watching gay porn, so there's just not much I can do with that. We are getting along better that we have in years, and even though we are sad, and scared, we are happy that everything is getting figured out.
Thanks again everyone!
Thank you all for your advice and encouragement! It turns out that he was watching gay porn, so there's just not much I can do with that. We are getting along better that we have in years, and even though we are sad, and scared, we are happy that everything is getting figured out.
Thanks again everyone!
M
MissCris
Guest
Update....... We are separated and getting a divorce. He is working on moving out and I am looking for a job.
Thank you all for your advice and encouragement! It turns out that he was watching gay porn, so there's just not much I can do with that. We are getting along better that we have in years, and even though we are sad, and scared, we are happy that everything is getting figured out.
Thanks again everyone!
Oh wow. Yeah, you can't really come back from that. Glad it's being figured out.
S
shekaniah
Guest
I will be praying for God to pour out His love, wisdom and blessings into your life. I had a girl friend who this happened to...
I saw first hand what she went through. May God do His amazing work in this whole circumstance, in Jesus name Amen
I saw first hand what she went through. May God do His amazing work in this whole circumstance, in Jesus name Amen
C
CryMad
Guest
Sorry I haven't been on hear to update you guys, there has been a lot of stuff going on!!
To start, I finally had a conversation with my husband about what happened. We took a walk without our daughter around, we walked for a while in silence. Finally I said, very calmly, "So, do you have anything you wanna say?" He immediately response with, "Well, I'm not gay or anything! I like girls!".....
I didn't really know what to say to that? So we decided that it would be best if he moved out. He's still hear, but he is moving out on Friday, but I have to say this..... I haven't felt this happy in years!!! I feel like a 10 thousand pound burden was lifted off my shoulders and I can finally breath again!!!!
There are a lot of things to figure out!! First is that I have to get a job!! I have more than 20 applications out there, but so far nobody has hired me. It's hard when you've been out of work for 3 years (I took care of my grandma 24/7 until she passed away), but I feel good about getting out there again!!!
Thank you ALL for your support, you've been so kind and helpful!! God bless you all!
To start, I finally had a conversation with my husband about what happened. We took a walk without our daughter around, we walked for a while in silence. Finally I said, very calmly, "So, do you have anything you wanna say?" He immediately response with, "Well, I'm not gay or anything! I like girls!".....
I didn't really know what to say to that? So we decided that it would be best if he moved out. He's still hear, but he is moving out on Friday, but I have to say this..... I haven't felt this happy in years!!! I feel like a 10 thousand pound burden was lifted off my shoulders and I can finally breath again!!!!
There are a lot of things to figure out!! First is that I have to get a job!! I have more than 20 applications out there, but so far nobody has hired me. It's hard when you've been out of work for 3 years (I took care of my grandma 24/7 until she passed away), but I feel good about getting out there again!!!
Thank you ALL for your support, you've been so kind and helpful!! God bless you all!
C
CryMad
Guest
Well, we didn't have the income or the room for more children, even though I do want more. Also I'm about 99% sure it was a gay porno, so I'm thinking that nothing I did in the bedroom would have helped. But thank you for the impute, I'll keep that in mind in the future.
S
Sli
Guest
To get a hint of what this deeper issue might be, let’s take a look at the following Scripture passage:
One of them, an expert in the law, tested him [Jesus] with this question: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"
Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:35-40)
I believe that virtually every marital problem can be traced back to one or both partners failing to abide by these two laws. The same is true of any relationship. The minute we begin to focus on our own wants and needs over those of God or our partner; we’re destined for trouble.
Experiencing communication problems in your marriage? How often do you really focus on listening to what your partner (or God) has to say instead of insisting on more airtime? Feeling bitterness and resentment growing toward your partner? When was the last time you brought his or her before the Lord in prayer and truly thanked God for your relationship? Struggling to find quality time together? How about praying with your partner and asking God how he would like you to use your time?
As you begin to do these things, you’ll notice that your focus automatically starts to shift away from you and your desires and over to God and your partner. As a result, communication problems begin to improve, anger and resentment fade away and you naturally want to spend more time together. Of course, you can’t expect such changes to happen overnight. Your relationship is also bound to face financial pressures, childrearing issues and other problems that are beyond your control. But if you commit your relationship to God and make a conscious decision each day to put God and your partner first, your marriage will be able to weather any storm. Not only that; you’ll also have plenty of fun together along the way!
Have you struggled to find happiness in your marriage? Perhaps it’s time you and your spouse invited God to direct your relationship.
One of them, an expert in the law, tested him [Jesus] with this question: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"
Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:35-40)
I believe that virtually every marital problem can be traced back to one or both partners failing to abide by these two laws. The same is true of any relationship. The minute we begin to focus on our own wants and needs over those of God or our partner; we’re destined for trouble.
Experiencing communication problems in your marriage? How often do you really focus on listening to what your partner (or God) has to say instead of insisting on more airtime? Feeling bitterness and resentment growing toward your partner? When was the last time you brought his or her before the Lord in prayer and truly thanked God for your relationship? Struggling to find quality time together? How about praying with your partner and asking God how he would like you to use your time?
As you begin to do these things, you’ll notice that your focus automatically starts to shift away from you and your desires and over to God and your partner. As a result, communication problems begin to improve, anger and resentment fade away and you naturally want to spend more time together. Of course, you can’t expect such changes to happen overnight. Your relationship is also bound to face financial pressures, childrearing issues and other problems that are beyond your control. But if you commit your relationship to God and make a conscious decision each day to put God and your partner first, your marriage will be able to weather any storm. Not only that; you’ll also have plenty of fun together along the way!
Have you struggled to find happiness in your marriage? Perhaps it’s time you and your spouse invited God to direct your relationship.
C
Consumed
Guest
you have a choice to stand by your husband and thru pray and counselling help him thru this or get bitter and watch it all go south from there. There is nothing God can not do, yes you were meant to see and find out the truth however remember "for better or worse" not that it would alwys be worse. Marriage is a commitment, get thru this valley and your marriage can grow stonger than before. See your Pastor with him.
praying for you both
praying for you both
N
nyla
Guest
hi im nyla i read your post on the problem you having with your husbend and my input on it is turn to god and pray on the problem he has becus i dont know if your husbend is seeing it as a problem but untill he do see it as what it is he want move forward on getting help for it but its your job as a wife to put to his attention that this is a problem and bring it up in councaling that this is whats happening at home so he can talk on it and see it shouldent be happening not when he alone or when your doughter is there or u. ill pray for u in jesus name god bless
A
AnandaHya
Guest
There are a lot of things to figure out!! First is that I have to get a job!! I have more than 20 applications out there, but so far nobody has hired me. It's hard when you've been out of work for 3 years (I took care of my grandma 24/7 until she passed away), but I feel good about getting out there again!!!
Thank you ALL for your support, you've been so kind and helpful!! God bless you all!
have you thought about a nurse tech program where you can be certified to take care of at home patients who need help with their meds and other daily things you probably did for your grandmother? they might have scholarships or finicial aid that will help you if you look into it.
just an idea. will keep you and your daughter in my prayers, God bless.
M
Muirnin
Guest
CryMad, I'm sorry to hear your marriage is hurting so badly. You have mentioned a lot of issues that the two of you need to work through to have a healthy relationship. I am encouraged that your husband has been willing to go to counselling with your pastor for a year. I take it that you both claim to be Christian and that you are both stating that you want to work this out. Those are all good starting points. I have been through a similar scenario and now am coming out the other end so it is possible. We didn't have all the same issues you have, but we had others to add to the mix. But it is possible to get through all of this. We had four years of counselling to get through it. Please keep in miind and repeat it often, that all marriages go through phases and that this can get better if you are both committed to changing.
If you are really committed to changing your marriage and you want to take the next steps, I don't mind talking about that....it would take too long to go though it here and you'll likely have some questions along the way so feel free to contact me by email or I don't mind meeting up to chat sometime....just let me know what time works for you.
I also recommend reading His Needs Her Needs by Dr. Harley. If you'd like more information before ordering the book or program, you can read through the content on his webpage www.marriagebuilders.com
I also agree with what was said above and I too recommend http://www.covenanteyes.com and the book Pure Desire and get him in a FMO group which is a For Men Only Group.
Please let us know how things are going as we care and want to help support you through this in as many ways as possible. I'll be praying for you.
God Bless you and your family.
If you are really committed to changing your marriage and you want to take the next steps, I don't mind talking about that....it would take too long to go though it here and you'll likely have some questions along the way so feel free to contact me by email or I don't mind meeting up to chat sometime....just let me know what time works for you.
I also recommend reading His Needs Her Needs by Dr. Harley. If you'd like more information before ordering the book or program, you can read through the content on his webpage www.marriagebuilders.com
I also agree with what was said above and I too recommend http://www.covenanteyes.com and the book Pure Desire and get him in a FMO group which is a For Men Only Group.
Please let us know how things are going as we care and want to help support you through this in as many ways as possible. I'll be praying for you.
God Bless you and your family.