Marriage seperation

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Elexus19

Guest
#1
#1
My husband abandon's me and our son when things get hard, no major arguments. he has walked out on us at least 15x in the past year and comes back when he wants because he know I love and will be waiting for him. Basically I'm a advantage. This time there was no argument, he was smiling, faked like everything was great with us but he got in the car and left to another country. My son and I were supposed to go with him but he left us and blocked all communication with me. His parents influenced him to leave. That it wasn't Gods plan for us to be married. What should I do. I gave this situation to God but I need answers.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#2
#2
Elexus19 said:
My husband abandon's me and our son when things get hard, no major arguments. he has walked out on us at least 15x in the past year and comes back when he wants because he know I love and will be waiting for him. Basically I'm a advantage. This time there was no argument, he was smiling, faked like everything was great with us but he got in the car and left to another country. My son and I were supposed to go with him but he left us and blocked all communication with me. His parents influenced him to leave. That it wasn't Gods plan for us to be married. What should I do. I gave this situation to God but I need answers.
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Change the locks and don't give him a key. Then tell him when he chances you'll date him until you know you can trust him. And give him no rights to the son until you can trust him. He's got to know it's all the way, not part of the way and run.
 
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Elexus19

Guest
#3
#3
Yes ma'am the thing is that when he said he would take us with him out of state..he took the car and left me at my moms house to live. We sold our house so we could move out of state.. The last 2 days before we were supposed to leave with him, he tricked me into helping him load the car with his luggage, after he said he was going to get us some food , I tried to go with him but he drove off with me standing there looking dumb. So I'm here..with no job, money or car to support myself or son. He has done this soooo many times. Every time we argue he goes and tries to get with other women. He sexually commited adultery twice that I know of...I know I should let him go but I love him so much that I keep hoping for the best every time he does this. This time I'm not chasing him because he moved across the world...
 
nowyouseem033

nowyouseem033

Senior Member
#4
Jul 17, 2014
535
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#4
As hard as it is i think perhaps its time to move on. If you are attending a church it would be wise to seek council. He no more deserves the love and compassion that you have shown him.
 
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Elexus19

Guest
#5
#5
Thank you for your replies...I am patiently waiting for God to give me a clear view of what he wants me to do.
 
Dan58

Dan58

Senior Member
#6
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
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#6
He lied to you and then deserted you, but you love him too much to leave? If you enjoy being abandoned, and if you don't mind his adulteress affairs, then I think you should seriously examine what exactly it is that your in love with? Sometimes what we love can be very harmful to us, so its necessary to cut your losses and walk away. When (if) he returns, greet him with divorce papers, because imo, your being played for a fool. A seriously obese person may really love chocolate cake, but the cake is the last thing they need, your husband is the cake you should throw out. It almost sounds like polygamy, are you sure your hubby isn't leading a double life?
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#7
Jul 3, 2015
56,096
26,194
113
#7
Elexus19 said:
Thank you for your replies...I am patiently waiting for God to give me a clear view of what he wants me to do.
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You're joking, right? You don't have a clear view yet? Your husband cheats on you repeatedly and walks out whenever he feels like it, with your help, and you don't know what to do? Why would you even consider dating an abusive, inconsiderate, selfish man like that?
 
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NewWine

Guest
#8
#8
Change the locks on the doors while he's gone.
 
notuptome

notuptome

Senior Member
#9
May 17, 2013
15,050
2,538
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#9
Sue for your rightful portion of the proceeds of the marriage. You are entitled to half of any profits form the sale of the house and other possessions. He is also responsible for his share of the cost to maintain your children. Get a lawyer and get the things done you need to do to protect your children.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#10
Mar 13, 2014
41,327
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Tennessee
#10
Your husband appears to e a fair weather friend. What you should do is pray about it and then file for divorce. Glad to have you as part of our family. Welcome to CC.
 
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workinprogress

Guest
#11
#11
His behavior is disgusting. Is he supporting you financially? Why do you need him?
 
sandtigeress

sandtigeress

Senior Member
#12
Apr 29, 2013
526
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#12
another perspective:

to Love someone is not doing whatever he wants.
To Love someone is to do what is best for the one you love.
And providing him with money and companionship and starry eyes, that is not
what is best for him.
And it is definitily not what is best for you and your son, whom you also
love. So it is time for tough love, meaning loving yourself and to give
your "fair weather" husband the barriers you need, no more shared money,
no more .... And if the property was in both your names, get a lawyer.
Because helping him to become a better and honest person, that is also
part of Love. Letting someone get away with every sin, that is no love.

Praying for you.
 
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AmmaBev

Guest
#13
#13
You are teaching him to treat you badly by letting him back every time. Have you gone to counseling?Focus on the Family is a good resource and they can be contacted at: ,855 382 5433 There are many resources on marriage on their website, please look them up and be encouraged that God is with you and sees the hardships you have been through. God is so very tender with the Israelites in Exodus 3: 9 and 16. God said the phrase "indeed concerned" about you and what has been done to you. That is from a personal experience verb meaning to attend, to visit and to search out. In this case, God sent Moses to lead His people out. God cares a great deal about you and your circumstances but doesn't want you to be a doormat.
Keep talking with God about your circumstance but meanwhile hold your boundaries! AmmaBev
 
pumaqueen

pumaqueen

Junior Member
#14
Jan 5, 2017
20
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#14
My question is what is going on with these inlaws that feel they can regulate people marriages I think that is the most rudess thing to do as inlaws.
 
pumaqueen

pumaqueen

Junior Member
#15
Jan 5, 2017
20
0
1
#15
I understand exactly everything you said but until someone has walked in her shoes its real easy to leave or do this. I'm talking from experience when you in the storm sometimes you just paralyse hoping that the person will wake up and realize your worth. From life lesson a person has to be til thier end before moving from an unplesant situation.
 
pumaqueen

pumaqueen

Junior Member
#16
Jan 5, 2017
20
0
1
#16
I'm down all day long with tough love its needed for the people we have given our hearts to.
 
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Ariel82

Guest
#17
#17
Elexus19 said:
Thank you for your replies...I am patiently waiting for God to give me a clear view of what he wants me to do.
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He wants you to get a job and figure out a way to support yourself and your son. Sue for child support and spousal support too if you can, but don't take him back.
 
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Ariel82

Guest
#18
#18
pumaqueen said:
My question is what is going on with these inlaws that feel they can regulate people marriages I think that is the most rudess thing to do as inlaws.
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If he has committed adultery then the in laws not liking her is just an excuse for himself to act poorly.

In truth no one forces him to commit adultery and abandon his wife and child. He made that choice.
 
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