Married 25 Years and Sucker Punched in the Gut With This Issue!!

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AlleyesonJESUS

New member
#1
Jun 6, 2018
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#1
My spouse has been my closest friend and quite frankly there were times when it was just the two of us against the world when we had to combat issues, over the years, in our lives. Last night I brought up the subject of needing to make an address change to update our living Trust Will and in a nut shell, the subject of him NOT being sure if he can trust me to "do the right thing" concerning monies going to his children if he should pass before me came up. I have had the privilege and honor of raising our one son from a very young age (the daughter was raised by her mother) and it's like he was mine from birth! He calls me mom and I call him son, not step-son but my son and I would do anything for him and for our daughter who although OUR relationship with her is not that close, we still try to connect the best we can.

So when he said those words, I was extremely hurt, upset and confused at the same time. I guess you never really know someone like you think because I was shocked that he felt so strongly about this over the LAST 3 years! I definitely had a What?!, Wait? Huh? Moment...... and just went to bed in the guest room. We spoke this morning and even managed to get through our morning prayer together, but I have to be perfectly honest and say that I am really hurting right now and to be honest quite numb. We have 4 kids (2 are mine and 2 are his) and only one is living for the Lord right now and our relationship with the others is not the greatest which is why I suspect there has been so much tension concerning this issue. I covet your prays for our marriage, the healing of my heart and the strength to forgive quickly and completely the words that were said that have now placed a wedge between us.
 
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Ariel82

Guest
#2
#2
It saddens me that money has caused a lack of trust to happen.

Will pray for your marriage and your ability to forgive and heal.

My suggestion would be to give the kids as much as you can while living or place it in bonds under the kids names?

We never had enough money or property to worry about it.
 
HeavenHearMe

HeavenHearMe

Senior Member
#3
Dec 11, 2016
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#3
Lord heal their marriage and her broken heart. Help her to be kind, compassionate and forgiving concerning the things said. In the name of Jesus, Amen.
 
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AlleyesonJESUS

New member
#5
Jun 6, 2018
4
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#5
Ariel82 said:
It saddens me that money has caused a lack of trust to happen.

Will pray for your marriage and your ability to forgive and heal.

My suggestion would be to give the kids as much as you can while living or place it in bonds under the kids names?

We never had enough money or property to worry about it.
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That's a thought, thanks for the advice.
 
L

littlestarsmum

Senior Member
#6
Oct 19, 2016
635
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#6
I’m so sorry you’re hurting, friend. I wish I could give you a hug. From your message, I can tell that you have a beautiful heart and care so much for your family. I just said a prayer for you, asking the Lord to comfort you daily with evidences of His great love and compassion. May He give you both insight into the ways you may express love and patience with each other and enable you both to serve one another in love. I hope everything goes well with you. Stay strong and be blessed. Hugs!
 
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thespiritoftruth

Senior Member
#7
Jun 18, 2013
820
270
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#7
Lord we pray for alleyesonjesus, help her to know what is good and right. Bless her family. In the precious name of our good Lord Jesus Christ.Amen.
 
JamieW

JamieW

Junior Member
#8
Dec 30, 2016
15
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#8
AlleyesonJESUS said:
My spouse has been my closest friend ... We have 4 kids (2 are mine and 2 are his) and only one is living for the Lord right now and our relationship with the others is not the greatest which is why I suspect there has been so much tension concerning this issue. I covet your prays for our marriage, the healing of my heart and the strength to forgive quickly and completely the words that were said that have now placed a wedge between us.
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Advice: prioritise the relationship and do not let monetary issues affect the beauty that is in your relationship. Allow the will to satisfy your spouses need to insure for his natural children in balance with his trust in you. It is a matter of mathematics and a spreadsheet.

Prayer: I pray that you open your hearts and know that the practical will resolve itself to everyone's satisfaction. I pray that you hold your blessed relationship holy, and above the practical, in service to Him.
 
levi85

levi85

Senior Member
#9
Jul 2, 2013
8,578
2,182
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#9
Lord bless AlleyesonJesus and this prayer. In Jesus precious name, Amen!
 
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oldethennew

Banned
#10
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
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#10
this is heart-breaking to read -
you both need to bow-down on your knees together before
your Heavenly Father and seek His WILL in this situation...
 
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