B
Buff_Old_Guy
Guest
Those of you that have or had a successful marriage... what advice would you give single people about finding someone?
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K
kenisyes
Guest
I've posted this a few times: Know who you are in Christ, so that you know what kind of love He has put in you to share. Then just be honest with everyone you meet.
There is a little trick I have found. Most people are preprogrammed with a script they do not know they have inside them, called "how I am supposed to act in a marriage". Sometimes they do not show this behavior until after the wedding, and it can come as a surprise, and not always a pleasant one. Try to get in touch with yours, and discuss it with any intended spouse.
There is a little trick I have found. Most people are preprogrammed with a script they do not know they have inside them, called "how I am supposed to act in a marriage". Sometimes they do not show this behavior until after the wedding, and it can come as a surprise, and not always a pleasant one. Try to get in touch with yours, and discuss it with any intended spouse.
A
Ariel82
Guest
don't be fake, and don't ever go into a relationship thinking you can "change" the other person into becoming what you want them to be.
Either love the WHOLE package/person: past, present and future or move on.
make sure the other person has the same dream of a lifetime spent together and not just someone to keep them company until the next "better catch" comes along.
its better to be single then live a life with a person who doesn't truly love you but the mask of the person you are pretending to be.
Either love the WHOLE package/person: past, present and future or move on.
make sure the other person has the same dream of a lifetime spent together and not just someone to keep them company until the next "better catch" comes along.
its better to be single then live a life with a person who doesn't truly love you but the mask of the person you are pretending to be.
Ariel that's so true. I try my best to be honest with people, but it feels like it is a crime to have a complex personality.
I have flaws, like, my dad left when I was a kid and I absolutely hate feeling rejected, it's my worst nightmare. But as far as marriage goes, I always saw myself acting like a real man. Paying the bills, keeping my tongue, and being with a woman that 'allows' me to be a man, if that makes sense?
I picture someone who, like me, takes pleasure in fixing problems and handing out compliments, being selfless rather than creating issues and acting stubborn.
But there are really very few people out there who understand me and things are so shallow nowadays that I actually don't ever want to get married, not the way things are at the minute anyway.
I have flaws, like, my dad left when I was a kid and I absolutely hate feeling rejected, it's my worst nightmare. But as far as marriage goes, I always saw myself acting like a real man. Paying the bills, keeping my tongue, and being with a woman that 'allows' me to be a man, if that makes sense?
I picture someone who, like me, takes pleasure in fixing problems and handing out compliments, being selfless rather than creating issues and acting stubborn.
But there are really very few people out there who understand me and things are so shallow nowadays that I actually don't ever want to get married, not the way things are at the minute anyway.
A
Ariel82
Guest
you have to find someone who is willing to love you despite your flaws. ............lol, changing diapers is gross but it is a real test to see if the other person is willing to get their hands dirty. 
there is no rush to get married.
Just live a life unto God and He will bring a person in your life when He decides you both are ready. life just get complicated if you try and rush it.
there is no rush to get married.
Just live a life unto God and He will bring a person in your life when He decides you both are ready. life just get complicated if you try and rush it.
M
MrsAsghar
Guest
For me I knew what I wanted in my life partner, I knew how I wanted to be treated as well. I had gone through many "wrong" relationships and as soon as a red flag popped up or I felt I wasn't being treated the way I wanted...the relationship ended. I wanted Gods best for me and wasn't going to settle for anything less. If we settle for less you will be looking at unhappiness, strife, problems, tensions, divorce, etc. I had a hard enough life growing up and I sure didn't want all that in my marriage.
From going through all the wrong relationships as well as having my guidelines on what kind I wanted, it didn't take me long to know when I met my future husband, that he was without a doubt Gods best and chosen one for me.
Within a few days we knew for sure, he knew before I did, but it only took a couple days of talking with him to know he was the one for me. We met on here and within a week he asked me to marry him and I said yes. Three months later we got married. I had absolute peace in my heart and knew this was of God. He is everything I ever dreamed of and wanted in a husband, plus some. And his family too, is everything I wanted and thought a family should be, that mine wasn't, so God not only blessed me with the husband I always wanted, but the kind of family I always wanted too.
My husband and I were made for each other. He is a blessing from God and he also says the same about me. We are truly blessed and so very thankful to God for bringing us together. My husband is the most amazing person I have ever met.
I know our marriage will always be strong, we want to have the kind of marriage God calls us all to have. To him, I come first and my happiness, needs and well being will always come first before his own, and I am the same way. He comes first before me, his happiness, his needs being met and his well being comes first. So in the end, neither of us ever have to worry about ourselves, our life partner has us well taken care of. So we are both always happy and enjoy sharing and doing what the other likes, and we know we have each others backs and our best interest at heart.
The only advice I can offer to any single person is...no matter how long it takes, wait for God to bring His best into your life. If you settle for anything less than His best, both you and the other person will not be happy and there will be strife in the marriage. Think about everything you want in your life partner, write them down if you have to, as well as how you want to be treated. If someone comes close to matching all of them, but not quite, keep waiting and looking. And also remember the roles that God has placed on the woman as well as the man. When one tries to step outside their role, it is going to cause problems within the marriage. God clearly states on how a marriage should be, and He told us these things so if we follow them, we will live a happy and blessed life with our partner.
Also, you have to feel that peace in your heart, if you feel uneasy, that is the Holy Spirit speaking to you and letting you know something just isn't right. Listen to Him and follow His guidance, He will never steer you wrong. God only once the best for His children.
Hope this helps.
God bless
From going through all the wrong relationships as well as having my guidelines on what kind I wanted, it didn't take me long to know when I met my future husband, that he was without a doubt Gods best and chosen one for me.
Within a few days we knew for sure, he knew before I did, but it only took a couple days of talking with him to know he was the one for me. We met on here and within a week he asked me to marry him and I said yes. Three months later we got married. I had absolute peace in my heart and knew this was of God. He is everything I ever dreamed of and wanted in a husband, plus some. And his family too, is everything I wanted and thought a family should be, that mine wasn't, so God not only blessed me with the husband I always wanted, but the kind of family I always wanted too.
My husband and I were made for each other. He is a blessing from God and he also says the same about me. We are truly blessed and so very thankful to God for bringing us together. My husband is the most amazing person I have ever met.
I know our marriage will always be strong, we want to have the kind of marriage God calls us all to have. To him, I come first and my happiness, needs and well being will always come first before his own, and I am the same way. He comes first before me, his happiness, his needs being met and his well being comes first. So in the end, neither of us ever have to worry about ourselves, our life partner has us well taken care of. So we are both always happy and enjoy sharing and doing what the other likes, and we know we have each others backs and our best interest at heart.
The only advice I can offer to any single person is...no matter how long it takes, wait for God to bring His best into your life. If you settle for anything less than His best, both you and the other person will not be happy and there will be strife in the marriage. Think about everything you want in your life partner, write them down if you have to, as well as how you want to be treated. If someone comes close to matching all of them, but not quite, keep waiting and looking. And also remember the roles that God has placed on the woman as well as the man. When one tries to step outside their role, it is going to cause problems within the marriage. God clearly states on how a marriage should be, and He told us these things so if we follow them, we will live a happy and blessed life with our partner.
Also, you have to feel that peace in your heart, if you feel uneasy, that is the Holy Spirit speaking to you and letting you know something just isn't right. Listen to Him and follow His guidance, He will never steer you wrong. God only once the best for His children.
Hope this helps.
God bless
B
Buff_Old_Guy
Guest
For me I knew what I wanted in my life partner, I knew how I wanted to be treated as well. I had gone through many "wrong" relationships and as soon as a red flag popped up or I felt I wasn't being treated the way I wanted...the relationship ended. I wanted Gods best for me and wasn't going to settle for anything less. If we settle for less you will be looking at unhappiness, strife, problems, tensions, divorce, etc. I had a hard enough life growing up and I sure didn't want all that in my marriage.
From going through all the wrong relationships as well as having my guidelines on what kind I wanted, it didn't take me long to know when I met my future husband, that he was without a doubt Gods best and chosen one for me.
Within a few days we knew for sure, he knew before I did, but it only took a couple days of talking with him to know he was the one for me. We met on here and within a week he asked me to marry him and I said yes. Three months later we got married. I had absolute peace in my heart and knew this was of God. He is everything I ever dreamed of and wanted in a husband, plus some. And his family too, is everything I wanted and thought a family should be, that mine wasn't, so God not only blessed me with the husband I always wanted, but the kind of family I always wanted too.
My husband and I were made for each other. He is a blessing from God and he also says the same about me. We are truly blessed and so very thankful to God for bringing us together. My husband is the most amazing person I have ever met.
I know our marriage will always be strong, we want to have the kind of marriage God calls us all to have. To him, I come first and my happiness, needs and well being will always come first before his own, and I am the same way. He comes first before me, his happiness, his needs being met and his well being comes first. So in the end, neither of us ever have to worry about ourselves, our life partner has us well taken care of. So we are both always happy and enjoy sharing and doing what the other likes, and we know we have each others backs and our best interest at heart.
The only advice I can offer to any single person is...no matter how long it takes, wait for God to bring His best into your life. If you settle for anything less than His best, both you and the other person will not be happy and there will be strife in the marriage. Think about everything you want in your life partner, write them down if you have to, as well as how you want to be treated. If someone comes close to matching all of them, but not quite, keep waiting and looking. And also remember the roles that God has placed on the woman as well as the man. When one tries to step outside their role, it is going to cause problems within the marriage. God clearly states on how a marriage should be, and He told us these things so if we follow them, we will live a happy and blessed life with our partner.
Also, you have to feel that peace in your heart, if you feel uneasy, that is the Holy Spirit speaking to you and letting you know something just isn't right. Listen to Him and follow His guidance, He will never steer you wrong. God only once the best for His children.
Hope this helps.
God bless
Thanks for the post
M
MrsAsghar
Guest
Thanks for the post
You are very welcome. Praying for you and wishing you all the best. God bless.
K
Kate913
Guest
I wouldn't say the "one" because that's like believing that we all have one true love. Which is a nice thought, but it doesn't line up with the Word of God. Christ is and should be our only one True Love. As for finding a spouse the word says that it is something that the Lord allows so that those who burn with passion do not fall into temptation. I think that, though romanticism is all so appealing to our flesh it is the very thing that distracts us from what we're really supposed to be all about. My husband and I have been married for two years and its awesome. I really see how the Lord is using us for one another in our shortcomings and weaknesses...more and more all the time. When we began courting we already knew that we were in complete agreement about the word of God, we both truely felt that we wanted it to be the Lord allowing us to be together and not just us forcing something, and we also wanted, for testimonies sake, it to be evident to everyone that the Lord had everything to do with our coming together. And in every way all of those things happened. After knowing each other through his family....meeting each other off and on for 3 years we courted for 1 month, were engaged for 1 month and have now been married 2 years. I know without a doubt that it isn't compromising with one another, or agreeing to disagree that is holding us together....but it truly is the common purpose of wanting to die to ourselves....denying anything thats of ourselves.....so that we may live for Christ and know what His will is.
I know that the Lord allowed it to happen the way did because of our hearts before Him. Not thinking that we needed a husband or wife or that we somehow deserved it, but only wanting God's glory to be shown and what was best for the body....His will to be done and not what we think may be best at the time. If it were not for that, I know the Lord wouldn't have allowed it.
I pray that this might encourage someone and be helpful in some way.
with Christ's Love,
Kate
I know that the Lord allowed it to happen the way did because of our hearts before Him. Not thinking that we needed a husband or wife or that we somehow deserved it, but only wanting God's glory to be shown and what was best for the body....His will to be done and not what we think may be best at the time. If it were not for that, I know the Lord wouldn't have allowed it.
I pray that this might encourage someone and be helpful in some way.
with Christ's Love,
Kate
R
ranfisher
Guest
When each person comes to understand that real love is loving the other for 'love's sake alone' you may very well have found the 'one'. And when each person understands that love is a verb and not a noun; that love is not always a feeling; and in those moments when that loving feeling is not felt from the other or to the other that the one thing that is held onto is 'RESPECT'. When this all is understood and embraced by each person; you have found the 'one'.
P
psychomom
Guest
I think no matter how much effort you put into the pre-marriage days, there's gonna be trouble.
That's life, and sin in mankind.
Most people choose a spouse based on the "wishin' and hopin'" methodology.
Ken's advice about the internal marriage script is fantastic!
No matter who ends up being "the one", both spouses have to learn to die to self daily, and to always, always put the Lord first.
Divorce has to be totally taken off the table as an option, otherwise it becomes too easy an option to take when things get rough...and rough patches normally appear.
If you agree with any of that (or take what you believe), find someone who thinks likewise.
Talk personally to people with longevity in marriage, if you can.
They'll be able to tell you that while the honeymoon period will end, that's just the beginning of the wonderful.
That's life, and sin in mankind.
Most people choose a spouse based on the "wishin' and hopin'" methodology.
Ken's advice about the internal marriage script is fantastic!
No matter who ends up being "the one", both spouses have to learn to die to self daily, and to always, always put the Lord first.
Divorce has to be totally taken off the table as an option, otherwise it becomes too easy an option to take when things get rough...and rough patches normally appear.
If you agree with any of that (or take what you believe), find someone who thinks likewise.
Talk personally to people with longevity in marriage, if you can.
They'll be able to tell you that while the honeymoon period will end, that's just the beginning of the wonderful.
D
DarenTV
Guest
When it comes to finding someone there are many things that can come into play. Many times those around you especially parents can be pretty good at discerning if someone is right for you. I know this from experience. My parents warned me that the girl I was going to marry wasn't the right match for me. They were right! I married my high school sweetheart the prom queen at the age of 19. They knew and I didn't listen. But not everyone has parents that are in tune but many time those closest to you can see things we often don't. I am now remarried to my wonderful wife who is my best friend.
If you are not in a relationship but you have a desire to have one. I have found that some of the best relationships started off as just being friends. It is through great friendships that you can find the right one!
I am a Husband and father with a wonderful blended family of 5 children and 4 grandchildren. www.daren.tv
If you are not in a relationship but you have a desire to have one. I have found that some of the best relationships started off as just being friends. It is through great friendships that you can find the right one!
I am a Husband and father with a wonderful blended family of 5 children and 4 grandchildren. www.daren.tv