Missing Companionship.

[Aerials1978]

As I enter my fourth month essentially belong single, I have had much time to reflect on this. My conclusion is, I miss my soon to be ex-wife. There are many aspects that I long for.

We haven’t seen each other for over a month now. All communication has been done by text messages. I do miss hearing her voice. I miss that smile she use to give me. I miss the conversations we would have whether be work, family, or anything that would intrigue a couple.

I miss her not laying next to me in bed. I miss her smell and essence. I miss her all around. Yesterday, I was out doing a delivery and I was handing a bag over to a women who was about my age. She was a very pretty women. By accident our hands had come in contact with one another and the softness of her skin and touch was heartbreaking to me.

There was no lust or attraction on my part, just the longing to feel the soothing again of a females embrace. I know the Lord will provide a spouse for me again. I have prayed about this and the answer I keep getting is yes.

I don’t know when this will be or with whom, but God knows I am not meant to be alone(In a human relationship sense). I pray for reconciliation and if that is not going to happen, I pray that God with join me with a strong women of faith.

 

[BlessedByGod]

I pray that u and ur bride will reconcile ur relationship. In a recent sermon, the pastor was talking about how God can restore relationships with others as the people draw closer to God. I know not the specifics, but everytime is the best time to do that and love him first. May God renew both ur hearts in him and renew and rekindle, if it be his will, ur relationship with her.

 

[Aerials1978]

I pray that u and ur bride will reconcile ur relationship. In a recent sermon, the pastor was talking about how God can restore relationships with others as the people draw closer to God. I know not the specifics, but everytime is the best time to do that and love him first. May God renew both ur hearts in him and renew and rekindle, if it be his will, ur relationship with her.

Thank you for you kind words. For the time the Lord has said for me to be still, to which I have. I was told to be compassionate, accommodating, and to say no ill words. I have done this this far. Only God can mend what is broken. Even if He doesn’t, I will still praise Him for my Earthy existence is short and temporal. I know this body and this world is not my true home.

 

[Lanolin]

I think you need to say whats really special about your wife rather than think that any breathing female can replace her. Anyone who comes after will just think shes a replacement or substitute. Personally I wouldnt like to be in that position.

God knows your situation and He wants you to lean in to Him. If she was your first love nobody can ever replace that.

 

[Mel85]

As I enter my fourth month essentially belong single, I have had much time to reflect on this. My conclusion is, I miss my soon to be ex-wife. There are many aspects that I long for.

We haven’t seen each other for over a month now. All communication has been done by text messages. I do miss hearing her voice. I miss that smile she use to give me. I miss the conversations we would have whether be work, family, or anything that would intrigue a couple.

I miss her not laying next to me in bed. I miss her smell and essence. I miss her all around. Yesterday, I was out doing a delivery and I was handing a bag over to a women who was about my age. She was a very pretty women. By accident our hands had come in contact with one another and the softness of her skin and touch was heartbreaking to me.

There was no lust or attraction on my part, just the longing to feel the soothing again of a females embrace. I know the Lord will provide a spouse for me again. I have prayed about this and the answer I keep getting is yes.

I don’t know when this will be or with whom, but God knows I am not meant to be alone(In a human relationship sense). I pray for reconciliation and if that is not going to happen, I pray that God with join me with a strong women of faith.

This is sweet that you miss her.

Also, just remember if God has shown you that He has put someone aside for you, be sure not to get caught up in “her” and that your focus should still be in the Lord - that kind of thinking can be unhealthy and dangerous, also borderline idolising a potential future spouse.

 

[proverbs35]

My question would be have you done any self reflection on why your covenant relationship with your wife deteriorate. How did YOU contribute to the breakup. Is their anything you should have done differently or better?

I'm asking about you because every person has to do their own self reflection. You cannot self reflection for your wife. You can only self reflect for you.

If you don't self reflect about how you may have contributed to the break-up of your marriage, it's very likely that you will repeat the same mistakes. Second marriages have a very high divorce rate. Probably because people do not self reflect before jumping into the next relationship.

 

[proverbs35]

My question would be have you done any self reflection on why your covenant relationship with your wife deteriorate. How did YOU contribute to the breakup. Is their anything you should have done differently or better?

I'm asking about you because every person has to do their own self reflection. You cannot self reflection for your wife. You can only self reflect for you.

If you don't self reflect about how you may have contributed to the break-up of your marriage, it's very likely that you will repeat the same mistakes. Second marriages have a very high divorce rate. Probably because people do not self reflect before jumping into the next relationship.

I don't expect you to answer these questions on this thread. This is just food for thought.

 

[Aerials1978]

This is sweet that you miss her.

Also, just remember if God has shown you that He has put someone aside for you, be sure not to get caught up in “her” and that your focus should still be in the Lord - that kind of thinking can be unhealthy and dangerous, also borderline idolising a potential future spouse.

Thank you! I am just lamenting, but it is not a yoke that I carry. Believe me, the Lord has made it abundantly clear of whom is first and foremost in my life. I was striped of my comfort in order to get me back to the path of His righteousness as painful as that may be.

 

[Aerials1978]

I think you need to say whats really special about your wife rather than think that any breathing female can replace her. Anyone who comes after will just think shes a replacement or substitute. Personally I wouldnt like to be in that position.

God knows your situation and He wants you to lean in to Him. If she was your first love nobody can ever replace that.

There are many things that make her special. Some of those I chose to keep to myself. It’s not that I’m looking for comfort in another women’s arms. I’m just saying what I miss. I don’t know what the future holds, only God does.

 

[Aerials1978]

I don't expect you to answer these questions on this thread. This is just food for thought.

I have done more than just self reflect. I have had total conviction. Yes, I’m the prime reason why that marriage fell apart. I was not the spiritual husband or father that I was called to be. God had to strip me of my worldly perspective. That He did and I praise Him for that. What happens now? I can only pray as to see where He takes me.

 

[Lanolin]

oh ok but you would get that from your mother I suppose.
Everyone wants to feel like a baby once in a while, but we grow up...

also, a babys skin is way softer than any grown womans. Im just saying you can hold babies in your arms they are the ones who most need holding.

 

[Aerials1978]

oh ok but you would get that from your mother I suppose.
Everyone wants to feel like a baby once in a while, but we grow up...

also, a babys skin is way softer than any grown womans. Im just saying you can hold babies in your arms they are the ones who most need holding.[/QUOTE
Has nothing to do with needing to be nurtured. I’m just saying it’s a physical interaction I haven’t felt in while. There is nothing wrong with having that feeling as it was not sexual. Why do we hug! Because we like the embrace of others.

 

[Lanolin]

dont you hug you friends? when you go to church or havent seen someone in a while, do you not hug them?
why is it you must only hug someone your married to? what about pets?

Im trying to give some perspective here.
Yes I get you miss someone. Thats sad, but if you actually want her back its best you tell HER that not us.

I mean what are we supposed to do about it?
I will just say, if I had for some reason an ex and he wanted to talk to me and say he missed me and needed a hug well maybe I would give him one AS A FRIEND.

Now I dont go round hugging widowers or any such thing at random but if they asked 'I just need a hug' then sure, I would comfort them.

Thats what friends are for. Plus If you go to a primary school at any given moment you are going to be hugged at random so...Im just saying, hugs are there and given freely if you want them.

But if you just stuck in the past well there is no moving forward is there? If you miss just physical interaction then I dont know what to say we cant bring your ex back. Take a course in massage, learn how to lay hands and heal. Talk to people. You are going to learn that you dont have to be married to someone to be friends with them and to interact with them. If your marriage isolated you to the extent that you now no longer interact with anyone Im going to be blunt and say thats not healthy.

 

[Aerials1978]

dont you hug you friends? when you go to church or havent seen someone in a while, do you not hug them?
why is it you must only hug someone your married to? what about pets?

Im trying to give some perspective here.
Yes I get you miss someone. Thats sad, but if you actually want her back its best you tell HER that not us.

I mean what are we supposed to do about it?
I will just say, if I had for some reason an ex and he wanted to talk to me and say he missed me and needed a hug well maybe I would give him one AS A FRIEND.

Now I dont go round hugging widowers or any such thing at random but if they asked 'I just need a hug' then sure, I would comfort them.

Thats what friends are for. Plus If you go to a primary school at any given moment you are going to be hugged at random so...Im just saying, hugs are there and given freely if you want them.

But if you just stuck in the past well there is no moving forward is there? If you miss just physical interaction then I dont know what to say we cant bring your ex back. Take a course in massage, learn how to lay hands and heal. Talk to people. You are going to learn that you dont have to be married to someone to be friends with them and to interact with them. If your marriage isolated you to the extent that you now no longer interact with anyone Im going to be blunt and say thats not healthy.

You’re assuming I’m asking anyone here to do something, which is not the case. I interact with a lot of people and I am joyful. I simply wanted to express how I felt, nothing more.

Maybe this is the problem with forums. A lot of things can be miss construed. Does anyone listen or do they only contend that they need to give advise on how to rectify a persons shortcomings?

If we as Christians can’t hear each other’s feelings without always pointing a finger and saying “ You should do this or that” how can we even be a light unto the world? Last time I read Jesus listened to the people, healed them, and then told them what needed to be done. Shouldn’t we be the same?

 

[DesertWanderer]

Yes, I’m the prime reason why that marriage fell apart. I was not the spiritual husband or father that I was called to be.

Let me be clear. There is no excuse for a woman to leave her husband just because she thinks he's not a "good enough Christian." I get so angry with pastors who dress down men in front of the wives. If we really believe men are the head of their households, we should be building them up, not implying that it's okay for women to leave their husbands because they haven't memorized the Bible.

God had to strip me of my worldly perspective. That He did and I praise Him for that.

God may have stripped you of your worldly perspective, but make no mistake, it was Satan who was behind the destruction of your marriage, not God.

 

[Mel85]

You’re assuming I’m asking anyone here to do something, which is not the case. I interact with a lot of people and I am joyful. I simply wanted to express how I felt, nothing more.

Maybe this is the problem with forums. A lot of things can be miss construed. Does anyone listen or do they only contend that they need to give advise on how to rectify a persons shortcomings?

If we as Christians can’t hear each other’s feelings without always pointing a finger and saying “ You should do this or that” how can we even be a light unto the world? Last time I read Jesus listened to the people, healed them, and then told them what needed to be done. Shouldn’t we be the same?

Don’t take it personal lol and yes texting or writing can always be miss construed, sometimes i wish there was an audio option to all this lol.