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[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied,Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris! The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.[/FONT]
 
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
 
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.[/FONT]
 
Chuck norris is currently suing NBC claiming law and order are trademark names for his left and right legs
 
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
 
If you have five dollars and chuck norris has five dollars..... chuck norris still has more money than you
 
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
 
a group of frogs is called an army

A group of kangaroos is called a mob
 
In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Chuck Norris". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked inthe face by Chuck Norris.
 
Life is not, in fact, like a box of chocolates. It is more like a box of Chuck Norris, roundhouse kicking you in the face. And if you receive a box of Chuck Norris, you ALWAYS know what you are going to get.
 
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