We don't know her mother personally so it's not gossiping. I mean, when I was going to professional counseling for PTSD due to abuse from my foster parents, I was scared to death I'd be dishonoring them if I told what they did to my siblings and me. They were religious nuts and brainwashed us into "honoring" them no matter what.
I finally had to come to grips with the fact that I needed to
talk about it in order to work through it. The Bible says in a multitude of counselors there's safety. Praise God, I was able to not only work through it, but was able to forgive them face-to-face before they died. Glory to God!
I think it's pretty awesome that PartyOf3 is asking for encouragement and seeking ways to make amends with her mother. To me, it's an honorable thing she's doing to resolve the conflict between her mother and her, don't you?