my addiction to not just porn

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nickdotnick

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My addiction with not just porn

You can trace back a person's actions to the reason he made it, his decision can be driven by greed for money, the need to be wise... etc. Whenever I try to trace back my actions I find out that half of them are driven by lust and sexual addiction and the other half is driven by regret for this addiction.

I got married not too long ago, one of the reasons I married her was because I thought that this would put an end to my sexual addiction, the other reason was that I couldn't break up because I was kind of a coward and cannot face the regret the would come from hurting her a month or two before the marriage, I couldn't tell her that I'm not attracted to her anymore, thinking that when we get married things will change, and now about 2 years after, I wish I could've overcame my fear and called the marriage off because my addiction never ended nor does it seem to end in the future.

I have come to believe that it's a part of me a part of who I am, it drives most of my important decisions and it's the first thing I think about getting up in the morning, and now I'm terrified that I would cheat on my wife who has never done me wrong, don't get confused I love my wife, she's honest she takes care of me she forgives and she's the perfect example for a loving wife, and I wish I can stop this for her and I tried a million times and prayed so hard that god would unchain me from this addiction and have her look beautiful in my eyes but this never happens, which brings me to feel so depressed and knowing that somewhere along the line I am destined to cheat on her.

Has anyone here had and overcame porn and lust for other women? Has anyone had the chance to cheat on his wife but didn't?
 
First i admire your courage to have the spine to share this..
And Be sincere before God always no matter how dark your sin(except blaspheming against Holy Spirit)

What you feel is quite normal...
This is exactly the reason why the Apostle told the Church which is recorded in Holy Scripture that people needed to get married unless they have a calling to lead a life of an Apostle.Its because to not get burned in the lust of flesh and fall into the trap of adultery set by satan....

The Best way to get out is talk to her in an indirect way first and tell that you need help.Both of you take time and have joint Prayer.When you are weak she must be Strong there...
Where she is weak you might be Strong.Its a joint Effort,God only listens to Prayers like that in married life..

Continuous Prayer and Fellowship and Group Prayer in Church(no need to tell outright your prob there) can help bring you Deliverance from it.Sometimes God makes us go through that experience to not get puffed up because of the Blessings we have.Just ask,cry more and more to God.even Crying in Heart God sees and Values.God will lift that bondage away in time.

you are not the only person struggling with it in married life.you have a broken heart on what you did,which is Good.God sees that and your pain.

i would like to talk more,but i would stop here..if you want to go in detail,just tell so...

God Bless and Help your Passion to Serve Him and Love your wife more and more without any blots like this prob you face...

For everything Good to begin,there is a Humble Start and then it Grows more and more to Better good and Peace and Rest..
 
Thank you for your reply.
I'm not sure if I can talk with her about this, some things are better left unspoken and besides that would break her heart, how can I tell her that I'm attracted to other women because they have a better looking body, which is the truth.
And I don't feel that god is admiring anything in this, I lack the love for him that would make me choose him over this, just as I lack it for my wife. In truth no matter how much I said I love them I will be a hypocrite, because I want to satisfy my lust than to satisfy God's will or my wife's.
 
Dear Brother,

i feel your pain...
And your Honesty matters before God.
What you said is all True.
However,there is a time to talk to your wife about this matter and there is a time or times you shouldn't.
Let God bring the right time.And don't think your wife is not pretty.The Fact is she can if she wants to.But in real life Love matters and not physical appearance or make ups.

Now like i told before Prayer is the only way out for this.Fast and Pray-make it a Routine(2-3 days a week - morning till evening or evening only)..There is a chance that no one else might come to help you in this.And including Church leaders might mislabel you if you share to get some desperate help.So choose and decide carefully what steps you take.God feels your Pain.That's the important thing because you have Repentance and you don't feel the Pleasure.your only prob is you are afraid of removing it form your life as it has got its roots deep inside you.Here is where Grace of God comes for help.

Doesn't God know everything about you?
Yes!He does!
With Prayer and Fasting, and also co-operating with God you can get out of it.Its not a big deal...Just give or pour out out your burdens that you have in your secret life to God.

And do realize this,one way or the other...your wife will know that you have some prob...man,you cannot hide from your own flesh(when married,both you and her are one,because God has made it one)...So she will eventually dig it out....
When that happens she might be more angry that you didn't tell her till then.

am not saying you should tell it just like that..but Let God take Care of things.
With God All Things are Possible...:)

If you have anything more to know in detail,am still happy to help.
Always Be Sincere to God,then only He can Wash us Clean...

The only One Entity that is Willing to Hear all your life situations is God,so Don't misunderstand him.God is Love..:)
Have Patience...
 
Thank you very much, your answer has been more than helpful ans guiding. I'll pray and tell her in the right time
 
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