My family are pushing me too hard

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Fran123

Senior Member
May 21, 2016
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Well I dont own any tee shirts, jeans or trousers. If the picture comes out this is a dress Mum made me, except mine has sleeves.

Fran2.jpg
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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That's a pretty dress. :) Then ask mum if you can change into a different dress other than your uniform. Tell her the uniform should only be for when you're at school. Homework done at home is a chore, in my opinion.. lol.. Tell her you shouldn't be wearing your uniform while doing chores.
 

Fran123

Senior Member
May 21, 2016
176
2
18
She would tell you that we concentrate better if we are dressed like we are dressed at school.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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She would tell you that we concentrate better if we are dressed like we are dressed at school.
And I would tell her that is NOT true. Whether I wore my school clothes, or changed first before I did homework, I STILL couldn't concentrate. Tell her you can't concentrate while wearing an uncomfortable uniform.
 

Fran123

Senior Member
May 21, 2016
176
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18
It's always been the rule in our house, my brother and sister were the same.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
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Well I dont own any tee shirts, jeans or trousers. If the picture comes out this is a dress Mum made me, except mine has sleeves.
So are the only clothes you own dresses? That says a whole lot more to me about how strictly you are being brought up than anything else. I had to wear a school uniform in high school as well, and it was probably one of the contributing factors to me being anti skirt to this day ( I don't think I own a skirt or dress and couldn't tell you the last time I wore one).
 

Fran123

Senior Member
May 21, 2016
176
2
18
So are the only clothes you own dresses? That says a whole lot more to me about how strictly you are being brought up than anything else. I had to wear a school uniform in high school as well, and it was probably one of the contributing factors to me being anti skirt to this day ( I don't think I own a skirt or dress and couldn't tell you the last time I wore one).
Dresses and skirts, all long.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
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Dresses and skirts, all long.
That would have driven me crazy when I was a teen as well. Maybe you should encourage your mom to join and hang out with us, might help bring her into the 21st century. Is the all dresses and skirts thing something your church teaches or do other gals at church wear trousers (almost said pants but someone told me long ago what pants means in the UK)?
 

Fran123

Senior Member
May 21, 2016
176
2
18
No one wears trousers to church (no girls I mean) but some of them do at home, when the pastor isn't looking. But Mum and her friends follow the pastor all the time. So the girls I hang out with now have never worn a pair of jeans in their lives.
 
G

GraceRevelation

Guest
Sounds like your parents are on the legalistic side which can be tough especially when your 14. That's a rough age for anyone because everything seems so dramatic and when you are disciplined it's like the end of the world. Your following your sister and mom really because you have to so there isn't a whole lot of heart for you in what your doing. So obviously the rules your mom has set are going to be tedious and not appealing especially to a 14 year old lol. It's a tough age in general like I said but you do have to listen to your parents. I pray that your relationship with God strengthens because really that's what you need anyway. Then you will naturally make better decisions, if you don't have a relationship with God then all this stuff your doing is pretty much just a religious duty and expectations of your mom. I know she's trying to protect you and parents have to be strict sometimes to try and protect their kids. This will pass :) Focus on God and tell him how you feel and this is a great time to press into God, sometimes being frustrated helps refocus us. Love ya Gods beloved!
 
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Fran123

Senior Member
May 21, 2016
176
2
18
I talk to God all the time. But I think he thinks I am just moaning.
 
May 26, 2016
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I talk to God all the time. But I think he thinks I am just moaning.
You can express your feelings to Him. He had to listen to His parents when He was 12. He understands.
I always had to study from my dad. Others did fun things and I was at home, studying. He wanted me to become a professor, I think. He thought I inherited his brains lol. When I was 19 I ran out of the house. Finally freedom to just first sit a while on the couch when you get home and talk to other christian students, clean up when you want to, without being yelled at, lovely. I really prayed God for a students' home, I said Lord this is unbearable. It was almost impossible to get one here, but He listened and someone asked my brother the next day: hey, do you accidentily know someone who looks for a room? But until then just listen to them. This too shall pass. The rest of your life you can wear what you like.
And who knows, your mother might change when she sees that you listen. The dad of my kids got way less severe within a few years. First how I raised them was bad, but now that he sees that you don't have to be so strict in order for kids to listen and that they do really well, he loosened up quite a bit.
 

Fran123

Senior Member
May 21, 2016
176
2
18
I hope she will listen and loosen up but not holding my breath
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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Maybe a little change of attitude would help. Less sarcasm, more positivity. You need to ask God to give you the patience to get through this time. I assure you, he does NOT think you're just moaning. :)
 

Fran123

Senior Member
May 21, 2016
176
2
18
I really am trying to be good in real life. I've volunteered for chores three times today, I didn't moan when Mum chose a really yucky dress this morning. I asked if I could pray with her and I spent an hour reading my bible this afternoon. Oh and when one of her friends came over I was the perfect daughter!
I just moan to you lot :p
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
My Mum loves me and I love her.
Just because I think she is too strict, doesn't mean she is doing anything like bad?
And I don't like my uniform but most people in Britain wear one. My objection to it is how distinctive it is, and how I look out of school in it. In school we are all the same.
But you try standing in a supermarket in a green striped blazer and see how you like it. I hate standing out.

Ive had situations where I had to dress a certain way also. I didn't necessarily like it but I dont like taking medicine either. There are things we have to do in life. Thats part of growing up and being an adult. The more you focus on it,the more it will bother you.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
No one wears trousers to church (no girls I mean) but some of them do at home, when the pastor isn't looking. But Mum and her friends follow the pastor all the time. So the girls I hang out with now have never worn a pair of jeans in their lives.
May I ask what church you attend? Would you mind sharing that info?
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,425
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We are Independent Baptists.
Are those the kind that think movies, music that isn't explicitly christian, and dancing are all terrible forms of evil? What happens when people disagree with the pastor?
 
R

Rosesrock

Guest
Are those the kind that think movies, music that isn't explicitly christian, and dancing are all terrible forms of evil? What happens when people disagree with the pastor?
Careful blanketing a specific denomination. We're independent Baptist and don't believe that way.