T
texcowboy
Guest
I was born and raised a redneck Christian kid. When I hit 7th grade though, I started delving into other things. I ended up getting really into metal and other dark stuff. By 9th grade, I was wearing all black every day, I had very long hair, claimed atheism, and all I listened to was satanic metal. I smoked, drank, and started trying to live the party life, but I was all talk mostly. I had also around that time started claiming different sexual identities. I was back and forth between straight, bisexual, and gay almost on a daily basis. I couldn't find myself. 10th grade came around and I was still into darker stuff. I ended up wearing really tight pants and still a lot of black. I, for a while, claimed satanism and even performed some rituals. I went through 10th grade mostly just claiming to be bisexual. In April of 10th grade I went to a youth convention near where I live with the youth group at my church. (I still went to youth group even though at the time i wasn't Christian) That weekend I thought I was saved. I had thought I accepted Jesus into my heart and the whole matter, but within a month I was right back to where I had been. Still didn't believe. August before 11th grade I thought I had finally "found myself" as a gay man. I completely changed my style and attitude to fit pretty much the gay stereotype. I wore VERY tight pants, bright colors, claimed to be into fashion and other things that would fit the stereotype. At that time I began claiming myself to be buddhist. I went along with that for a while, but eventually got back into satanic stuff. I was a really bad liar for a while in there too. I would make up stories about how I would be picked on for being gay. I would try to get pity and a shock factor from everyone around me. I was basically an attention whore. After a while though, I started believing that those lies were my real life, and I got very depressed. Around the beginning of December 2011, I went to the doctor and got depression meds. By the end of January I left my public school to go to a cyber charter school. Around that same time I started claiming to be transgender. That didn't last long until I told my aunt and that's when everything started changing for the better. When I told her that, she sat me down and basically told me that I needed to grow up. I didn't have a job at that point, and by then I had a mohawk that was blue and I was turning into a punk rocker. She told me she knew I wasn't transgender or gay, and that I needed to stop lying and get my act together. So that night, I shaved off my mohawk, threw away my tight pants and dark clothes, and started living as the regular straight redneck I was raised. I was really happy. This all happened around the end of February 2012. I started going to youth group more regularly and found a little spark of faith in me. I then started going to church on Sunday again. The first time back to Sunday service my grandmother spoke in tongues. That was a very defining thing for me. On April 5, 2012, my youth group went to this year's youth convention. That night at the first of 3 services the sermon was all about being cleansed of all sin and how no matter what you've done Jesus can save you. That night, I was saved. I fell on my knees and accepted Jesus into my heart, for real this time. That night in the hotel I prayed to be saved of everything in my life. I threw the depression pills and cigarettes away. I quit drinking. I stopped cursing. I thew away all my idols. And for the first time in almost 3 years, I slept a good, full night's sleep. The next morning at the second service, there was a candlelight vigil and the sermon was all about speaking in tongues and being baptized in the Holy Spirit. At that service, the Lord spoke to me. He told me He was happy to have me back, and that He had a mission for me. He told me to be a pastor. The final service was more or less just about worship and a goodbye, but it was still very good. I got home the next day, and went to my very faithful grandmother and told her everything that happened, and what the Lord told me. She sat me down and we prayed. I finally felt secure in myself, and since then I've been living as pure in the Word as possible. I'm still a virgin, through all of it, and I plan to be until I'm married. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't curse, I listen only to Country and Christian music, I haven't taken more than 3 advils since, and best of all, I'm finally happy. I'm so thankful to the Lord Jesus and everyone around me who helped me get here. I'm still following the path to becoming a Pastor, and everyone supports that. Thank you all for reading, and I hope you got something out of my testimony.
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