my heart is torn....

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looking4hope

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So like every ( most) young adults I have a relationship issue.
My and my guy have been together on and off over a year he is in the army and was stationed on the other side of the country.before he left we where great we had out moments but nothing we couldnt overcome well since he had been gone a lot of not so good things have happened to me I can say that it has made me a totally different person...not so much in a good way I do not like what everything has made me I feel like I can not love the same because the one bad thing a.very bad man did to me,I think about it everyday and can not overcome how its bringing me down. Well my man has issues himself from the army and the horrible things he went thru over seas...so we are both tryin to over come out personal issues. But since he has been home (about 2 weeks) he gets very mad over well everything...he got angry because I had to go home he had spent the past 2 hours on a video game but was mad at me. I was totally fine with it it helps him unwind but I don't understand why he was so mad . And another new thing is he says I'm not intimate with him any more but that is cause but the bad stuff I went thru. I just don't know what to do he always gets mad over small things now and slams doors throws things. But if I leave our relationship idk what will happen his mom tells me he wouldn't be able to take it and I can.not hurt him like that....but its hurting me inside
 
Hi there! It seems you both have been through some awful things and I'm sorry to hear that.

Allow me to share an experience I had earlier this year. My bf lives in the states and I live in Ireland. He came to see me over Christmas and the new year, before I had my faith and love in Jesus. I suffer with a hormonal imbalance meaning before and during my period, I fly into fits of rage for no reason.

This was something I cannot control. My bf, who is Christian, was losing hope in me. So one night we got together, talked and prayed about it. He told me the only one who can change us is God. My hormones have settled right down and I'm not as angry. It saved our relationship. Jesus saved me from myself.

My advice to you is to discuss this with your boyfriend. You need help, that much is clear. Have you spoken to a doctor? It sounds to me like you need a therapist. Pray about it. I cannot emphasise how much praying helped me. You both need to pray. Take the problems to Jesus and ask him to show you his will.

If you need advice or if you just want to talk, please PLEASE PM me. Please do not suffer in silence.

Praying for you - Emmie
 
Sounds likely that your bf is suffering from PTSD, or something like that. Many of the military guys are coming back acting the same way as your bf. Bottom line, he needs counseling, and he needs someone who specializes in military issues. Without this help he will just continue to get worse and who knows if there could eventually become a potential for violence or not. If he's not willing to get the help he needs you can expect no positive changes from him.

I don't know what 'bad stuff' you went through that stopped you being 'intimate' with him, but as an anmarried Christian woman you shouldn't be getting 'intimate' with him anyways.

Sounds like with whatever happened to you, you need some counseling of your own. Otherwise this could carry into all your future relationships as well. You're both damaged and both need professional help. Seek it.
 
By intimate he refers to the affection like when we hug or kiss or when he holds me I guess I don't show affection how I use to.
Part of it may be because I have been intimate in that way with him in the past I know its very much frowned upon but I was a different person I since everything have found god. I feel that may also have a part in me not showing affection I am tryin to find a perfect line in the middle and having sex is past that line but holding eachother is comforting.
I would like to be in counsiling I feel that would help.
I am human and I have made mistakes I see that and now I am tryin to fix them.
I am living with my mistakes
 
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