My husband left me after I almost died

[ChelleyStarr]

I suppose I'll start out from the beginning of my story. I lived in Charlotte, NC and he lived in Lafayette, LA. He met me on myspace, claimed he was a Christian and that he lived his entire life for God. Before I met him, I was an unbeliever.
We dated, long distance, for 3 months. Quickly, he decided we should get married. We never fornicated or anything. I was very new to being a Christian.. so he had explained that fornicating doesn't make God happy at all. I was actually okay with this.
On May 3, 2010 we eloped. I moved to Lafayette, LA with him in a house that he claimed his father had given him. He also claimed that he was a personal trainer, his band went around showing kids who God is, and that I was the only lady he ever started a relationship with on the internet.
RUDE AWAKENING!: Not only had I NEVER been to Lafayette, LA... but the house was rented (and we had to pick up the rent), he had NO job, and I found messages describing web cam sex with about a MANY young girls (about the ages of 16-18). They all lived in different states. He told them ALL that he loved them and they'd get married one day.
Needless to say... I was crushed.
Quickly I found out that his Christian image was just that... an image. He kept it up so he could present this "perfect person" to his friends. Everyone, including so many lost children, looked up to him. Little did they know...
Pretty soon he started drinking every night. There were times I would lock myself in the bathroom because I thought he was going to beat me. My husband had almost 100 pounds on me.. he could've easily put me in the hospital.
There was a time he got so drunk, he got us lost trying to drive home. Mind you, he lived in Lafayette his entire life.
I found out around October 2010 that my grandmother had cancer of the liver, lungs, and colon. He brought me to see her a hand full of times. The following March is when I found out that she absolutely WASN'T going to make it. It felt like my heart was ripped out.
So of course I asked my husband to bring me to see her. He said, "No, you saw her 2 weeks ago. That's good enough!" I tried and tried to explain to him how quick 2 weeks turned into never at all. He didn't want to hear it. That weekend was the last weekend she could speak. She never got to tell me she loved me again..
Then one morning we got into an argument.. he left. I thought he was leaving to cool down. He sent me a text telling me that he was NEVER coming back, that I better go to work cuz I'd need the money, and to never speak with him again. This is my husband we're talking about! How could someone do something like that?! I couldn't get my head around it.
So he really didn't speak with me for 3 days. The only reason he came back was because his friend asked him how he thought God would feel about it.
Two days after he came back.. He left again. There was no fight, no cross words.. nothing. We were about to go to the store to buy medicine for my eye. He said he was gonna pick up his car from his dad's and that he'd be back soon.
He left, sent me a text saying he was never coming back. I walked around the city in the middle of the night looking for him. I didn't know what else to do. Some guys in a car kept slowing down and trying to pick me up. I told my husband and it was the only reason he came back.
A couple days later I looked through his texts with his friend Billy (a man that stalked him constantly, no exaggeration). He told Billy that he was slowly, but surely, divorcing me. Little did I know...
I called him out on it. He said it wasn't like that anymore. But I knew he treated me different. I knew my husband well enough. He had started "working late." He'd leave at 7 AM and not make it home till 11PM.. and his checks weren't adding up! And I had found out about a girl he slept with when he left me for those few days, and he tried getting back with his ex-girlfriend. He was only gone 3 days... I was that disposable?
The first week of April 2011, my grandma passed away. He wouldn't bring me to her funeral 3 hours away. He could take off work.. but refused. He didn't want to help me find a way either. Finally, his mom let me use her truck. My friend Laci came with me, thank God! I would've fallen asleep at the wheel if it weren't for her. My husband tried to make me stay over night. I just couldn't do it. Not with knowing all the girls he had been trying to get with me.
All of a sudden, everything was fine. From about mid-April to July 31, 2011. July 31 we got into a near fatal car accident. Well, it was near fatal for no one but me. The man that hit us had fallen asleep behind the wheel, crossed the median on the interstate, and hit us. He was headed straight for my husband's side but instead of slamming on brakes or driving off the road.. he turned straight into him.. drove my side straight into the truck. The man that hit us broke a thumb, my husband tore a tendon in his knee, and i broke my right femur, my right hand, and a toe. I had cuts all over my body and face. The fire fighters and paramedics couldn't even pull me out the car. I had to be cut out the with jaws of life. The crazy part is.. I don't remember the wreck.
Well my husband was in the hospital for a day. I was there for a week and a night. I hardly remember anything from the first 5 days or so. I was on morphine and I had a terrible reaction. To the point that I was hallucinating. When I spoke, I didn't really make sense.
Apparently, he left me after he visited me for a day and a half. The last thing I remember him saying is that he'd be back the next day and that he loved me.
The next morning I get a text from him saying, "What are you trying to say? I'm sorry Ch***** this is for the best. It's not gunna work out. You can have anything you want. I will still help you out with money. But I do want a divorce."
Yes, he divorced me over text. And he hasn't spoken to me since. It's been almost 3 months now. Not a word out of him...
Honestly, I KNOW it was his father that always told him to leave me. His parents didn't like that their son eloped a girl they didn't know. My husband looked to his father like he was God himself. He wouldn't even apply for a job without asking his father. It was almost like he was brainwashed. And his father didn't want to let him go. He needed control of someone or something.

So my testimony is this: God is seeing me through my worst times. I wouldn't have made it out of the car accident if it weren't for him. Not only did he let me live.. he let me keep my legs as well.
Although it may seem extreme, but I believe all this was God's way of changing my life for the better. He saw me going down the wrong path and redirected me. He may have saved me from a miserable life with my husband.

 

[NMsmile]

I read your testimony and couldn't help but think that God does take our sorrow and turn it to JOY!
God takes the ashes our life and turns them into things of beauty.

You have strength you didn't know was there. I am praying that God dries your tears, comforts you and makes you the strong woman of God he is sharpening you to be.

You are in my prayers.

 

[Brandon777]

I listened. And I think I'm more bitter about your situation than you are. I think it's because I love taking care of women and being the protector. I pray his soul is redeemed.

 

[HeIsNowHere]

I suppose I'll start out from the beginning of my story. I lived in Charlotte, NC and he lived in Lafayette, LA. He met me on myspace, claimed he was a Christian and that he lived his entire life for God. Before I met him, I was an unbeliever.
We dated, long distance, for 3 months. Quickly, he decided we should get married. We never fornicated or anything. I was very new to being a Christian.. so he had explained that fornicating doesn't make God happy at all. I was actually okay with this.
On May 3, 2010 we eloped. I moved to Lafayette, LA with him in a house that he claimed his father had given him. He also claimed that he was a personal trainer, his band went around showing kids who God is, and that I was the only lady he ever started a relationship with on the internet.
RUDE AWAKENING!: Not only had I NEVER been to Lafayette, LA... but the house was rented (and we had to pick up the rent), he had NO job, and I found messages describing web cam sex with about a MANY young girls (about the ages of 16-18). They all lived in different states. He told them ALL that he loved them and they'd get married one day.
Needless to say... I was crushed.
Quickly I found out that his Christian image was just that... an image. He kept it up so he could present this "perfect person" to his friends. Everyone, including so many lost children, looked up to him. Little did they know...
Pretty soon he started drinking every night. There were times I would lock myself in the bathroom because I thought he was going to beat me. My husband had almost 100 pounds on me.. he could've easily put me in the hospital.
There was a time he got so drunk, he got us lost trying to drive home. Mind you, he lived in Lafayette his entire life.
I found out around October 2010 that my grandmother had cancer of the liver, lungs, and colon. He brought me to see her a hand full of times. The following March is when I found out that she absolutely WASN'T going to make it. It felt like my heart was ripped out.
So of course I asked my husband to bring me to see her. He said, "No, you saw her 2 weeks ago. That's good enough!" I tried and tried to explain to him how quick 2 weeks turned into never at all. He didn't want to hear it. That weekend was the last weekend she could speak. She never got to tell me she loved me again..
Then one morning we got into an argument.. he left. I thought he was leaving to cool down. He sent me a text telling me that he was NEVER coming back, that I better go to work cuz I'd need the money, and to never speak with him again. This is my husband we're talking about! How could someone do something like that?! I couldn't get my head around it.
So he really didn't speak with me for 3 days. The only reason he came back was because his friend asked him how he thought God would feel about it.
Two days after he came back.. He left again. There was no fight, no cross words.. nothing. We were about to go to the store to buy medicine for my eye. He said he was gonna pick up his car from his dad's and that he'd be back soon.
He left, sent me a text saying he was never coming back. I walked around the city in the middle of the night looking for him. I didn't know what else to do. Some guys in a car kept slowing down and trying to pick me up. I told my husband and it was the only reason he came back.
A couple days later I looked through his texts with his friend Billy (a man that stalked him constantly, no exaggeration). He told Billy that he was slowly, but surely, divorcing me. Little did I know...
I called him out on it. He said it wasn't like that anymore. But I knew he treated me different. I knew my husband well enough. He had started "working late." He'd leave at 7 AM and not make it home till 11PM.. and his checks weren't adding up! And I had found out about a girl he slept with when he left me for those few days, and he tried getting back with his ex-girlfriend. He was only gone 3 days... I was that disposable?
The first week of April 2011, my grandma passed away. He wouldn't bring me to her funeral 3 hours away. He could take off work.. but refused. He didn't want to help me find a way either. Finally, his mom let me use her truck. My friend Laci came with me, thank God! I would've fallen asleep at the wheel if it weren't for her. My husband tried to make me stay over night. I just couldn't do it. Not with knowing all the girls he had been trying to get with me.
All of a sudden, everything was fine. From about mid-April to July 31, 2011. July 31 we got into a near fatal car accident. Well, it was near fatal for no one but me. The man that hit us had fallen asleep behind the wheel, crossed the median on the interstate, and hit us. He was headed straight for my husband's side but instead of slamming on brakes or driving off the road.. he turned straight into him.. drove my side straight into the truck. The man that hit us broke a thumb, my husband tore a tendon in his knee, and i broke my right femur, my right hand, and a toe. I had cuts all over my body and face. The fire fighters and paramedics couldn't even pull me out the car. I had to be cut out the with jaws of life. The crazy part is.. I don't remember the wreck.
Well my husband was in the hospital for a day. I was there for a week and a night. I hardly remember anything from the first 5 days or so. I was on morphine and I had a terrible reaction. To the point that I was hallucinating. When I spoke, I didn't really make sense.
Apparently, he left me after he visited me for a day and a half. The last thing I remember him saying is that he'd be back the next day and that he loved me.
The next morning I get a text from him saying, "What are you trying to say? I'm sorry Ch***** this is for the best. It's not gunna work out. You can have anything you want. I will still help you out with money. But I do want a divorce."
Yes, he divorced me over text. And he hasn't spoken to me since. It's been almost 3 months now. Not a word out of him...
Honestly, I KNOW it was his father that always told him to leave me. His parents didn't like that their son eloped a girl they didn't know. My husband looked to his father like he was God himself. He wouldn't even apply for a job without asking his father. It was almost like he was brainwashed. And his father didn't want to let him go. He needed control of someone or something.

So my testimony is this: God is seeing me through my worst times. I wouldn't have made it out of the car accident if it weren't for him. Not only did he let me live.. he let me keep my legs as well.
Although it may seem extreme, but I believe all this was God's way of changing my life for the better. He saw me going down the wrong path and redirected me. He may have saved me from a miserable life with my husband.

Your story reminds me of CS Lewis book "The great divorce" about heaven and hell where one person was totalling of her husband (your story is your husband's father controlling his son) and that is what their entire life's goal consisted of. But your husband's choice in not following Jesus Christ and wrongly and unjustly doing what he did to you will have major consequences for him. Pray for him because he is doomed unless he repents. But you must follow Jesus Christ no matter what.

 

[loveme1]

Bless you, I hope you can get over this awful relationship. You are a fighter, so keep on fighting Girl! God knows best!

 

[preschoolteacher24]

I read your story and I may say I hate when things like this happen. I had a bad relationship happen too me bad bad but diff anyways what Iam saying is you are stronger you are strong you can get thru this as hard as it is and as hard and impossible as it feels. You can get thru this.

 

[nyla]

god bless you! you just keep going down the path god is taking you down, i will pray for you god bless

 

[Azul]

you'll deff be on my prayers, have faith God has a man that will touch your life for the better in a positive way, faith in Christ always leads to a happy ending

 

[Crossfire]

I suppose I'll start out from the beginning of my story. I lived in Charlotte, NC and he lived in Lafayette, LA. He met me on myspace, claimed he was a Christian and that he lived his entire life for God. Before I met him, I was an unbeliever.
We dated, long distance, for 3 months. Quickly, he decided we should get married. We never fornicated or anything. I was very new to being a Christian.. so he had explained that fornicating doesn't make God happy at all. I was actually okay with this.
On May 3, 2010 we eloped. I moved to Lafayette, LA with him in a house that he claimed his father had given him. He also claimed that he was a personal trainer, his band went around showing kids who God is, and that I was the only lady he ever started a relationship with on the internet.
RUDE AWAKENING!: Not only had I NEVER been to Lafayette, LA... but the house was rented (and we had to pick up the rent), he had NO job, and I found messages describing web cam sex with about a MANY young girls (about the ages of 16-18). They all lived in different states. He told them ALL that he loved them and they'd get married one day.
Needless to say... I was crushed.
Quickly I found out that his Christian image was just that... an image. He kept it up so he could present this "perfect person" to his friends. Everyone, including so many lost children, looked up to him. Little did they know...
Pretty soon he started drinking every night. There were times I would lock myself in the bathroom because I thought he was going to beat me. My husband had almost 100 pounds on me.. he could've easily put me in the hospital.
There was a time he got so drunk, he got us lost trying to drive home. Mind you, he lived in Lafayette his entire life.
I found out around October 2010 that my grandmother had cancer of the liver, lungs, and colon. He brought me to see her a hand full of times. The following March is when I found out that she absolutely WASN'T going to make it. It felt like my heart was ripped out.
So of course I asked my husband to bring me to see her. He said, "No, you saw her 2 weeks ago. That's good enough!" I tried and tried to explain to him how quick 2 weeks turned into never at all. He didn't want to hear it. That weekend was the last weekend she could speak. She never got to tell me she loved me again..
Then one morning we got into an argument.. he left. I thought he was leaving to cool down. He sent me a text telling me that he was NEVER coming back, that I better go to work cuz I'd need the money, and to never speak with him again. This is my husband we're talking about! How could someone do something like that?! I couldn't get my head around it.
So he really didn't speak with me for 3 days. The only reason he came back was because his friend asked him how he thought God would feel about it.
Two days after he came back.. He left again. There was no fight, no cross words.. nothing. We were about to go to the store to buy medicine for my eye. He said he was gonna pick up his car from his dad's and that he'd be back soon.
He left, sent me a text saying he was never coming back. I walked around the city in the middle of the night looking for him. I didn't know what else to do. Some guys in a car kept slowing down and trying to pick me up. I told my husband and it was the only reason he came back.
A couple days later I looked through his texts with his friend Billy (a man that stalked him constantly, no exaggeration). He told Billy that he was slowly, but surely, divorcing me. Little did I know...
I called him out on it. He said it wasn't like that anymore. But I knew he treated me different. I knew my husband well enough. He had started "working late." He'd leave at 7 AM and not make it home till 11PM.. and his checks weren't adding up! And I had found out about a girl he slept with when he left me for those few days, and he tried getting back with his ex-girlfriend. He was only gone 3 days... I was that disposable?
The first week of April 2011, my grandma passed away. He wouldn't bring me to her funeral 3 hours away. He could take off work.. but refused. He didn't want to help me find a way either. Finally, his mom let me use her truck. My friend Laci came with me, thank God! I would've fallen asleep at the wheel if it weren't for her. My husband tried to make me stay over night. I just couldn't do it. Not with knowing all the girls he had been trying to get with me.
All of a sudden, everything was fine. From about mid-April to July 31, 2011. July 31 we got into a near fatal car accident. Well, it was near fatal for no one but me. The man that hit us had fallen asleep behind the wheel, crossed the median on the interstate, and hit us. He was headed straight for my husband's side but instead of slamming on brakes or driving off the road.. he turned straight into him.. drove my side straight into the truck. The man that hit us broke a thumb, my husband tore a tendon in his knee, and i broke my right femur, my right hand, and a toe. I had cuts all over my body and face. The fire fighters and paramedics couldn't even pull me out the car. I had to be cut out the with jaws of life. The crazy part is.. I don't remember the wreck.
Well my husband was in the hospital for a day. I was there for a week and a night. I hardly remember anything from the first 5 days or so. I was on morphine and I had a terrible reaction. To the point that I was hallucinating. When I spoke, I didn't really make sense.
Apparently, he left me after he visited me for a day and a half. The last thing I remember him saying is that he'd be back the next day and that he loved me.
The next morning I get a text from him saying, "What are you trying to say? I'm sorry Ch***** this is for the best. It's not gunna work out. You can have anything you want. I will still help you out with money. But I do want a divorce."
Yes, he divorced me over text. And he hasn't spoken to me since. It's been almost 3 months now. Not a word out of him...
Honestly, I KNOW it was his father that always told him to leave me. His parents didn't like that their son eloped a girl they didn't know. My husband looked to his father like he was God himself. He wouldn't even apply for a job without asking his father. It was almost like he was brainwashed. And his father didn't want to let him go. He needed control of someone or something.

So my testimony is this: God is seeing me through my worst times. I wouldn't have made it out of the car accident if it weren't for him. Not only did he let me live.. he let me keep my legs as well.
Although it may seem extreme, but I believe all this was God's way of changing my life for the better. He saw me going down the wrong path and redirected me. He may have saved me from a miserable life with my husband.

While I may not be able to relate to your situation entirely, I can definitely sympathize. A young lady whom I was planning on proposing marriage to decided to end the relationship on my birthday of all days after it became apparent that an illness I had been diagnose with years earlier was progressing quickly. I was devistated. To make matters worse she had a 2 year old daughter who I absolutely adored which made the situation all the more unbearable.

However, looking back, things turned out well. About a year after the relationship ended I needed surgery and haven't had a serious issue since, thank God! Shortly after the surgeries the Lord began to deal with my heart and I got saved and am active in ministry, something that most likely would not have happened if I had married to the girl in question.

While we all make mistakes, especially early on in life, God can take those bad situations and use them for the benefit of others. Keep following God whole heartedly and never look back. I'm certain that in due time He will use your testimony to touch the lives of other young ladies who have been the victoms of relational abuse.

 

[zis]

believe me sis i understand what you went through.It very painful more than death itself .God saw every tear that drop from your eyes and he heard your prayers . God has a better person for you more better than you can think .

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

It is miraculous, how a dramatic turn of events can change our frame of mind, and our heart's desires. My heart being broken is what invariably set me back on the right path as well, and although it still hurts to think about it, I am grateful and all the better a person for it.

I'm glad to see you haven't taken the opposite approach; that is, blamed God for these things. You have my sincerest sympathies, and I'm glad you took the time to share this with us! Peace be with you, and God bless!

 

[Anna64]

Sometimes GOD gives us a miracle healing or an instant miracle in a life battle, a lot of times He walks us through it, holding us and being our strength and guide. What your husband did will cost him if he doesn't repent, that is his walk, you just stay strong by leaning on GOD, He will never leave you or forsake you. Bless you.

 

[Angel_face]

You are a strong woman. I admire you!

 

[RachelP03]

We dont know why alot of things happen or why sometimes we even get tempted to do things that arnt like us. This past year, I have done things I never thought in my wildest dreams I would of done, or made the choices and decisions I did. Ive been a believer basically my whole life and got saved at 8 and I always had tried to live right. When my husband left and cheated back in February of last year, my whole world got torn upside down. I wasnt the perfect wife, but I know God had to take him out of my life so God could have my full attention. Listen to God. He has a wonderful plan for you and hopefully your testimony can touch someone or help someone. God Bless!!!!! Lean on God and trust his path for you!!!! He wants to pour his blessings on you and give you your hearts desire!!!

 

[mikejordan777]

I'VE BEEN IN SEVERAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH GIRLS WHERE THEY EITHER CHEATED ON ME OR USED ME AND BROKE MY HEART...BUT THROUGH THOSE TOUGH TIMES GOD MADE ME A STRONGER PERSON..SOMETIMES YOU FEEL LIKE GIVING UP WHEN THE FIGHT BECOMES OVERWHELMING..NOW GOD HAS BROGHT SOMEONE BETTER INTO MY LIFE A WOMAN WHO LOVES ME FOR ME AND HE WILL DO THE SAME FOR YOU..JUST NEVER GIVE UP HOPE AND KEEP PRESSING ON..GOD BLESS YOU

 

[faithingod]

wow i am so sorry you went through that, i feel your pain and boy i would have been so mad at him i would be devastated myself, its a good thing you guys arent together anymore, he will one day realize what he lost, for you are a great person i can tell! god bless you hun and you will find mr right one day god has a great plan for you!

 

[Beckles]

Thank you for sharing this testimony with us. It's true that sometimes painful things happen to us that we just can not explain or understand why?. At the time is incredibly painful and the pain runs deep. I guess its only when we find ourselves looking back over time that we realise that God was there amidst the pain and that He is in control.
God bless you and my prayers are with you x