J
My life has been one wild rollercoaster. Some say you can not remember so far back, but I can.
I was born in the early 80's and i was a wild child. I was happy at first like no care in the world. Then is all began, i was threatened and beaten by my oldest brother. He said if i went to sleep i would die. With this being told to me daily i mainly used the couch as my bed. For years i slept on a couch. I could not ever excape, i had no childhood for real. I enjoyed thr church mom took me too it had alot of caring southern people there.
I started walking the streets at around age 5 just to get releif from the beatings and to prevent myself from being slammed against the couch and wall. Mom was a single mother of us six. I dont hold it against her for if i did i would have moved out and never returned when she needed desperatley needed help.
I stayed and we had our ups and downs. She got sicker i got more angry because i did not know how to fix it. I wanted to take her illness and give her my good health.
She was my rock even tho she said it was my fault for thr way my brother was. But it was not, when mom was in the hospital i sent a message by my sister that i am sorry for everything. I could not have been at the hospital if i could have.
My moms last words to me was, "it is ok i do not hold it against him". Him meaning me, she i stilled stregnth within us all and i am stronger because of it.
She was nit perfect but she kept us all together and i was not a perfect son. But i kept her together when i could.
She got so bad that she started falling out of bed, i would scare awake and hear a thump i go in and pick her up and lay her back in bed.
She got so bad with her illness that it caused her stumach to bleed and she would yeah nit going there id lose it if i type it.
I told her to sell my moped send ne a portion and use the rest for herself she did not want to do it. I pleaded with her to do it and she did.
I had a coin collection and we had no food she tolf me not to do it i said im doing it because you must eat. I was stupid one time.
😭 i was at my girls over night just chillin i came home mom was on the ground she was there for 24 hours i helped her up and to her bed and made her some food and like a idiot i left again. I cant take that back as much as i want to i just cant.
But she loved me endlessly anyway, with the way she loved me is the way i view love that is why i feel thr way i feel because of mom.
God protected me thriugh my life and He is now.
I was born in the early 80's and i was a wild child. I was happy at first like no care in the world. Then is all began, i was threatened and beaten by my oldest brother. He said if i went to sleep i would die. With this being told to me daily i mainly used the couch as my bed. For years i slept on a couch. I could not ever excape, i had no childhood for real. I enjoyed thr church mom took me too it had alot of caring southern people there.
I started walking the streets at around age 5 just to get releif from the beatings and to prevent myself from being slammed against the couch and wall. Mom was a single mother of us six. I dont hold it against her for if i did i would have moved out and never returned when she needed desperatley needed help.
I stayed and we had our ups and downs. She got sicker i got more angry because i did not know how to fix it. I wanted to take her illness and give her my good health.
She was my rock even tho she said it was my fault for thr way my brother was. But it was not, when mom was in the hospital i sent a message by my sister that i am sorry for everything. I could not have been at the hospital if i could have.
My moms last words to me was, "it is ok i do not hold it against him". Him meaning me, she i stilled stregnth within us all and i am stronger because of it.
She was nit perfect but she kept us all together and i was not a perfect son. But i kept her together when i could.
She got so bad that she started falling out of bed, i would scare awake and hear a thump i go in and pick her up and lay her back in bed.
She got so bad with her illness that it caused her stumach to bleed and she would yeah nit going there id lose it if i type it.
I told her to sell my moped send ne a portion and use the rest for herself she did not want to do it. I pleaded with her to do it and she did.
I had a coin collection and we had no food she tolf me not to do it i said im doing it because you must eat. I was stupid one time.
😭 i was at my girls over night just chillin i came home mom was on the ground she was there for 24 hours i helped her up and to her bed and made her some food and like a idiot i left again. I cant take that back as much as i want to i just cant.
But she loved me endlessly anyway, with the way she loved me is the way i view love that is why i feel thr way i feel because of mom.
God protected me thriugh my life and He is now.
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