I’m so sorry to hear about your situation, friend. This is a hard thing to go through. It's pretty obvious that you want to have a good and happy marriage. Have you ever considered talking with a counselor? Do you think that's something that might be helpful for you personally? I just said a prayer for you and your wife, asking the Lord to bring healing and hope to your marriage. I know it’s not easy right now, but stay strong. May you rest in the assurance the psalmist expressed when he wrote: “In the day of trouble I shall call upon Thee, for Thou wilt answer me” (Psalm 86:7). Grace and peace to you.