R
rdbseekingafterhim
Guest
You may want to grab tissues and sit down for this one.
Ok I was born on November 26 of 1982. My mother was heavily into drugs and alcohol. She conceived me during a rape from 4 different men in early 1982. She had me and decided she wanted drugs over me. She started to neglect me, and when my grandmother saw this my grandmother said I'll care for him.
You'd think my troubles would've been over but you'd be dead wrong. My grandmother suffered from a nasty disease of the brain known as mumcosins syndrome by proxy which is a mental disorder where you deliberately make someone sick and take them to the hospital to get treatment. She did this to me to get attention. This went on for 2 and a half years.
She would get me sick get me well get me sick get me well again. She took me from hospital to hospital doctor to doctor and drug me up so much I would be passed out for nearly 24 hours a day. When the state finally realized what was going on I was taken into state protective services. I was 2 and a half. I could not walk, talk, and drooled everywhere. The doctors said I was mentally retarded.
I got put into a state childrens home. One day I was having trouble with a tricycle. It was broken and I went to the maintenance man. I pointed at it and grunted still unable to talk. The man was nice and fixed it for me. I waved bye and grunted. That night the maintenance man spoke wuth his wife. They had talked about getting another child. They had already had four. He told her about me. They immediately feel in love with me.
At first they couldn't adopt me. So I had to be in foster care. My mother came by to visit with me on occasion. She had an opportunity by the state to get cleaned up. She refused to and at the age of 4 I was abandoned once again. When I was 5 I was adopted by the Baughmans officially. You'd think life would now be great and I'd grow up in a wonderful loving home. You're wrong once again.
The first few years everything was fine. However after the state stopped coming things started to get derailed. My adopted parents stopped being foster parents. They then started speaking to me in very alarming ways. The nasty words of you're worthless and going to amount to nothing began around the age of 8. They forced me to go to church. I was surrounded by holy rollers. Every time I'd bring home good grades they didn't act proud. They never said good job. They never congratulated me on anything. It was always you can do better.
As I got older the cold indifferent treatment got worse and worse. They even would add in how could you be so stupid. I ask a question they looked at me like I had no brain at all. They said go look it up. I had to become self sufficient. The abuse began to escalate even more. I ended up one day out of anger said shut up to my adopted mom. She wouldn't listen to me and she kept interrupting me. She had fire erupt in her eyes and she put me through a wall. I was only like 13 or 14. When my adopted dad got home he whipped me so bad with a paddle it broke.
Any time I cried ever growing up. Shut up stop that crying want me to give you a real reason to cry. I dried up my tears. I masked my emotions. Emotions in the house got you in trouble. You had to be stoic. I was on the phone one day with my girlfriend at the age of 16. My adopted dad went ballistic saying I thought I told you to break up with her. I said I won't do it. He pushed me out of the chair into the floor. I nearly hit my head on the cabinet behind the chair.
Finally when I graduated high school I joined the military. It was basically my way of running away. Things didn't get any better. My depression only intensified more. I by this point already tried to commit suicide once before joining the military. My second attempt happened while I was in the service. I left the service and with nowhere else to go had to move back in with my adopted parents.
At this point I thought I'm an adult now they can't tell me what to do. I was mistaken though. I had a curfew. I couldn't smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol. Two habits I picked up in the military. I ended up getting a girlfriend and dad said to stop going out with her. I said no you can't make me. He pushed me out of my chair again. I said alright that's it. I got up packed up my things and moved out. I moved in with my girlfriend at the time. It ended up being a mistake. She was abusive. I had to move out of her place. I moved back in with my parents.
Things just continued to spiral out of control. I moved in with a new girl. After that one they said that was it. I could never move back in. So I ended up staying with her for 10 years. Each year worse than the last. I said enough is enough. I moved out from there. After I tried to commit suicide for a third time.
I said ok this time will be different I found a great girl and got married. Well let me tell you things derailed quickly. Things have started to improve since I got saved. However, 33 years worth of scars takes a while to heal.
Ok I was born on November 26 of 1982. My mother was heavily into drugs and alcohol. She conceived me during a rape from 4 different men in early 1982. She had me and decided she wanted drugs over me. She started to neglect me, and when my grandmother saw this my grandmother said I'll care for him.
You'd think my troubles would've been over but you'd be dead wrong. My grandmother suffered from a nasty disease of the brain known as mumcosins syndrome by proxy which is a mental disorder where you deliberately make someone sick and take them to the hospital to get treatment. She did this to me to get attention. This went on for 2 and a half years.
She would get me sick get me well get me sick get me well again. She took me from hospital to hospital doctor to doctor and drug me up so much I would be passed out for nearly 24 hours a day. When the state finally realized what was going on I was taken into state protective services. I was 2 and a half. I could not walk, talk, and drooled everywhere. The doctors said I was mentally retarded.
I got put into a state childrens home. One day I was having trouble with a tricycle. It was broken and I went to the maintenance man. I pointed at it and grunted still unable to talk. The man was nice and fixed it for me. I waved bye and grunted. That night the maintenance man spoke wuth his wife. They had talked about getting another child. They had already had four. He told her about me. They immediately feel in love with me.
At first they couldn't adopt me. So I had to be in foster care. My mother came by to visit with me on occasion. She had an opportunity by the state to get cleaned up. She refused to and at the age of 4 I was abandoned once again. When I was 5 I was adopted by the Baughmans officially. You'd think life would now be great and I'd grow up in a wonderful loving home. You're wrong once again.
The first few years everything was fine. However after the state stopped coming things started to get derailed. My adopted parents stopped being foster parents. They then started speaking to me in very alarming ways. The nasty words of you're worthless and going to amount to nothing began around the age of 8. They forced me to go to church. I was surrounded by holy rollers. Every time I'd bring home good grades they didn't act proud. They never said good job. They never congratulated me on anything. It was always you can do better.
As I got older the cold indifferent treatment got worse and worse. They even would add in how could you be so stupid. I ask a question they looked at me like I had no brain at all. They said go look it up. I had to become self sufficient. The abuse began to escalate even more. I ended up one day out of anger said shut up to my adopted mom. She wouldn't listen to me and she kept interrupting me. She had fire erupt in her eyes and she put me through a wall. I was only like 13 or 14. When my adopted dad got home he whipped me so bad with a paddle it broke.
Any time I cried ever growing up. Shut up stop that crying want me to give you a real reason to cry. I dried up my tears. I masked my emotions. Emotions in the house got you in trouble. You had to be stoic. I was on the phone one day with my girlfriend at the age of 16. My adopted dad went ballistic saying I thought I told you to break up with her. I said I won't do it. He pushed me out of the chair into the floor. I nearly hit my head on the cabinet behind the chair.
Finally when I graduated high school I joined the military. It was basically my way of running away. Things didn't get any better. My depression only intensified more. I by this point already tried to commit suicide once before joining the military. My second attempt happened while I was in the service. I left the service and with nowhere else to go had to move back in with my adopted parents.
At this point I thought I'm an adult now they can't tell me what to do. I was mistaken though. I had a curfew. I couldn't smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol. Two habits I picked up in the military. I ended up getting a girlfriend and dad said to stop going out with her. I said no you can't make me. He pushed me out of my chair again. I said alright that's it. I got up packed up my things and moved out. I moved in with my girlfriend at the time. It ended up being a mistake. She was abusive. I had to move out of her place. I moved back in with my parents.
Things just continued to spiral out of control. I moved in with a new girl. After that one they said that was it. I could never move back in. So I ended up staying with her for 10 years. Each year worse than the last. I said enough is enough. I moved out from there. After I tried to commit suicide for a third time.
I said ok this time will be different I found a great girl and got married. Well let me tell you things derailed quickly. Things have started to improve since I got saved. However, 33 years worth of scars takes a while to heal.
