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dazednconfused88
Guest
Here is something that I wrote down immediately after i committed a particular sinful that I have been struggling with for a while now. Try to make sense of it and lets see if anyone else can relate...
For days, my fight against a particular sin has been going smoothly....
I briefly capture the ability to turn away from the thought of this sin and temptation seems to be a controllable opponent. During this time, I can actually smile upon the thought of my existence and progression in my journey of following Christ seems apparent. However, Satan prowls patiently close by with intent to plant a sinful bomb into my head which proves impossible for me to defuse. My spirit screams anxiously at me, telling me to stand up and fight these demons, but my flesh lay weak and pathetic during the spiritual battle.
Still out of control, I stand up inside my room knowing what I am about to do will soon be followed with extreme regret but my body continues in the direction of sin, as if my already clouded judgement is now being drowned into a deep abyss in the ocean depths. The invitation of evil results in the possession of my soul and with a sinful ambition, I walk towards my car in order to drive to the location to where this sin may occur.
Spiritually, I feel like the walking dead. The drive is quiet. I feel drunk as I watch the flashing of street lights and high beams crawl by me as if time has slowed down to a near halt. The slow blur of colors mock me, reminding me that spiritual control is lost. Every so often I recognize a distant voice that desperately attempts to warn me of the troubles I am getting myself into, but I turn my ear.
I reach my destination and the sin starts to occur. Midway through the act of sin, my spirit finally begins to dictate my flesh but it is already too late. The act of sin has already taken place and the abundantly familiar feeling of regret begins to fill my body from head to toe. Enraged with guilt, I cry out to God, asking him to forgive me once again. I then begin to feel weak and useless and the drive home is a change from feeling drunk to groggy, as if I am trying to recover from a severe nightmare. The devil then slaps me in the face, tells me I will never be forgiven and reminds me of the existence of an eternal doom he plans on suffocating me in. As I arrive home, my hands are shaking with fear as I try to type out my feelings. I remind myself that God will forgive and be on my side, but repentance is mandatory. The battle continues...
For days, my fight against a particular sin has been going smoothly....
I briefly capture the ability to turn away from the thought of this sin and temptation seems to be a controllable opponent. During this time, I can actually smile upon the thought of my existence and progression in my journey of following Christ seems apparent. However, Satan prowls patiently close by with intent to plant a sinful bomb into my head which proves impossible for me to defuse. My spirit screams anxiously at me, telling me to stand up and fight these demons, but my flesh lay weak and pathetic during the spiritual battle.
Still out of control, I stand up inside my room knowing what I am about to do will soon be followed with extreme regret but my body continues in the direction of sin, as if my already clouded judgement is now being drowned into a deep abyss in the ocean depths. The invitation of evil results in the possession of my soul and with a sinful ambition, I walk towards my car in order to drive to the location to where this sin may occur.
Spiritually, I feel like the walking dead. The drive is quiet. I feel drunk as I watch the flashing of street lights and high beams crawl by me as if time has slowed down to a near halt. The slow blur of colors mock me, reminding me that spiritual control is lost. Every so often I recognize a distant voice that desperately attempts to warn me of the troubles I am getting myself into, but I turn my ear.
I reach my destination and the sin starts to occur. Midway through the act of sin, my spirit finally begins to dictate my flesh but it is already too late. The act of sin has already taken place and the abundantly familiar feeling of regret begins to fill my body from head to toe. Enraged with guilt, I cry out to God, asking him to forgive me once again. I then begin to feel weak and useless and the drive home is a change from feeling drunk to groggy, as if I am trying to recover from a severe nightmare. The devil then slaps me in the face, tells me I will never be forgiven and reminds me of the existence of an eternal doom he plans on suffocating me in. As I arrive home, my hands are shaking with fear as I try to type out my feelings. I remind myself that God will forgive and be on my side, but repentance is mandatory. The battle continues...
