G
girlwhoneedsachange
Guest
All this brings me to the present. Where my story is still being written. I got back into church and I’m back in school. Trying to be independent. There was a time that I was on POF, Hot or Not, and Tinder again. However I just wasn’t feeling good about it. I didn’t want that anymore. I wanted to find someone that wanted to live for God first. That truly loves God and that would truly love me. The other day I was watching 19 kids and counting. I’ve been still struggling with the addiction to porn, and wanting to feel wanted. I was watching the show and their daughter were getting married. It was a pure marriage. They have never even kissed anyone. I thought to myself I am never going to be able to have that. I’m never going to be able to find a good Christian guy to want me. I’m broken; I’ve given up my purity. I’ve given up everything I had. I’m broken I’m lost. The next day I watched Joyce Meyer and she was talking about new beginnings that no matter what you have done no matter if you haven’t come to Christ or you have and you have gotten so far away from him you don’t know if you can turn back. You can. You can come just as you are with your burdens, your brokenness, your impurity, and choose to recieve God’s grace. She said the victory and peace is there you have to be the one to receive it. At the point I was fell face day and I was like God. “I don’t know what your plans are for me. I don’t know if there is even still a plan in your book for you to give to me. I’ve gotten so lost and so far. I’ve given everything I’ve had up. But I choose you. I choose your love, your grace. It has been the only thing to keep me going. Keep me strong. No matter what time in my life. You have never failed me. God I don’t know why I keep looking to feel wanted because you always make me feel wanted. The devil has been telling me you don’t want me. I know today that isn’t true. It was never true. I give you my life all over again. I turn myself over. I surrender all. From this day forward I’m yours. I am forever yours. I will listen to you. I choose your way. Your plan. Your callings. Lord I’m yours, I’ve always been daddy’s little girl. I’ve always been loved by you. Thank you. Amen.”
I felt peace. I felt like I was wanted. I felt like that that Christian guy was possible. I felt loved, a and wanted. It is still hard. I still struggle with temptation. I still struggle with the hard times and old habits, I’m still learning to give up some habits. I turn to God. I gave up my anger and the monster in me and forgave those who did me wrong. It doesn’t mean I agree with what they did but I forgive so I can be a better person that God has called me to be. God is my savior he is my peace, and he is my strength. Yesterday I decided to contact sprint I have been having a hard time with the buyout contract promotion they had and over the last few months I’ve argued I’ve yelled and tried to get them to tell me the truth. This time I was calm and peaceful and just wanted answers. I had to explain my story about because my original question was about my account because it is passed due by a lot. We actually got disconnected but I when I signed back onto the customer service chat I got her again. Eventually she asked me why am I so calm. Why am I not angry? After being treated by sprint the way you have and going through everything you’ve gone through why are you so patient and kind. I went on to tell her honestly it was God. We had a long conversation about God and my story. She told me that her and her colleagues were around crying and wondering how you could be this way. I got to share God over a customer service chat that originated from asking about my phone. It helped me in a way. I believe I showed God to them but I felt it was God’s way of saying I’m still here. I still love you and you are planned for greatness.
My story is still being written but this is my story as of today. God is still working in me. There are a lot of things that need to be cut off of me. So I can be made in his image and the person he wants me to be. As of today I’m willing to take that journey. To be his.
I felt peace. I felt like I was wanted. I felt like that that Christian guy was possible. I felt loved, a and wanted. It is still hard. I still struggle with temptation. I still struggle with the hard times and old habits, I’m still learning to give up some habits. I turn to God. I gave up my anger and the monster in me and forgave those who did me wrong. It doesn’t mean I agree with what they did but I forgive so I can be a better person that God has called me to be. God is my savior he is my peace, and he is my strength. Yesterday I decided to contact sprint I have been having a hard time with the buyout contract promotion they had and over the last few months I’ve argued I’ve yelled and tried to get them to tell me the truth. This time I was calm and peaceful and just wanted answers. I had to explain my story about because my original question was about my account because it is passed due by a lot. We actually got disconnected but I when I signed back onto the customer service chat I got her again. Eventually she asked me why am I so calm. Why am I not angry? After being treated by sprint the way you have and going through everything you’ve gone through why are you so patient and kind. I went on to tell her honestly it was God. We had a long conversation about God and my story. She told me that her and her colleagues were around crying and wondering how you could be this way. I got to share God over a customer service chat that originated from asking about my phone. It helped me in a way. I believe I showed God to them but I felt it was God’s way of saying I’m still here. I still love you and you are planned for greatness.
My story is still being written but this is my story as of today. God is still working in me. There are a lot of things that need to be cut off of me. So I can be made in his image and the person he wants me to be. As of today I’m willing to take that journey. To be his.