So by this time I am livid with God. I don't know why he did this to me, I don't know why I had to go through this. I kept asking why? Why? WHY?
I stopped reading my Bible, I stopped going to church I thought I was going to be done being a Christian because all my hope was spent, all my love was spent, I was spent.
Then I met my boyfriend, Edgar. I thought he was going to be another creep but he turned out to be quite nice in fact. Things didn't become wonderful because of him, nor did they become wonderful right away.
I had heard a story where some scientists were doing an experiment. They put a monkey in a cage and they began to make loud noises and flash bright lights in order to scare the monkey. Then they put another monkey in the cage and the first monkey's stress level went down by more than half. Well Edgar turned out to be my monkey.
I showed him my school both when there were kids and when there weren't kids. After those visits he believed me.
So as me and Edgar became closer I realized that I missed God. I really missed him. I tried and tried to read my Bible but it was like there was an invisible barrier between me and that book that I couldn't bring myself to cross.
Eventually I was able to read it (thanks to some of you on CC) and it really helped.
A few weeks ago I had a "ladies lunch" with a campus ministry (not ICOC) and this girl who I had never met before, told me everything about myself and she told me that God loved me. It had been so long since I had heard that it was like the thought had never occurred to me.
Things are not perfect but they are going in the right direction. I am making friends both on here and in the real world, I have a wonderful boyfriend, and my relationship with God is getting stronger.
Thank you for reading.
THE END!
