well, yes, when we are the enemies of God, we obey and live in darkness until our true 'conversion'...
I didn't hear you speak about your 'conversion' and very importantly, your 'REPENTANCE' and afterwards -
for without this, you would still be a servant of an un-holy master...
from the words that you have spoken, the acts that you have engaged in are truly 'demonic'
and could only be done by someone who is truly 'possessed by satan, himself...
???