Hey everyone,
I'd like to share my testimony with you. Hope you'll bear with me. I'm going to be real and honest with you and I hope you'll be blessed/encouraged.
I wasn't always Christian. My family was agnostic for a while. We came to the US from Korea when I was 7. After that, my parents grew curious and we did quite a lot of church-hopping.
We had settled in this one church in NJ. I was 12 at the time, and that particular day, a missionary came to speak at our church. It was the first time I had ever heard of struggling children around the world. It moved me, and that night, I told my mom that I wanted to go to a bible college and become a missionary. A few days later, I accepted God into my life.
And then I lived happily ever after... haha, far from it.
I'd been saved, but I didn't know what to do. I didn't have any mentors to help me. So it was almost like nothing had changed.
When I was 13, a lot of things happened.
I developed a hopeless crush on my pastor's son. and I thought it was the end of the world when he rejected me. One day in school, I was doodling his name in my notebook(yeah, I know..) and 2 "popular" girls behind me looked over to see what I was writing. His name was Sam, and they assumed that it was a girl's name. Then, spread a rumor around the school that I was a lesbian. For whatever reason, no one believed me. I lost my friends. I went through quite a lot of verbal and emotional abuse at that school. I wanted to go to my parents for support. But this was also the year when I became the oldest of 5 kids. And so, my parents assumed that I was now old enough to be responsible and handle myself.
It was at this point when I became very depressed, and attempted suicide. God literally saved me from that. A few days after that, our family up and moved to Illinois due to my dad's job. I don't think that was a coincidence at all. I believe I could've died if we hadn't moved.
The whole experience changed me completely. I was now fearful. I was very introverted. I didn't trust anyone and I was completely withdrawn. But the move helped me to start over again. I still believed in God, I did. I just thought there wasn't much to Him. And so for the rest of my high school years, I just blindly lived and stumbled along.
Then came time to apply for college. I was still set on going to a bible college, and I knew which one I wanted to go to. I was rejected. I didn't know what to do. A random bible college contacted me at the last minute, and I took the chance. It was there that I finally let my guard down, and found friends. It was there that my faith was awakened, and tested. Eventually, I had to drop out because of financial reasons. I fought with God every step of the way. But when I came home and really started spending time with God, I was able to see the reason. I was able to see it had been for a season. I applied two more times to the first bible college, and was again rejected.
In July 2007, I went on my first missions trip. I was a bit skeptical. But everything changed for me there.
I did my first Quiet Time, and I've been doing them since.
God revealed my calling to me audibly.
And I re-committed my life to Him. This time, I knew what I was doing. This time, my faith and love for Him just exploded. I wanted to get to know Him more.
So many things happened after this. So many things tried to discourage me, get me to break down and deny God.
In 2009, we moved back to NJ. I talked with God about this move. I knew I was ready to come back here. He told me He would call me to do His work here, and to brace myself.
Long story short, I found a church and became involved. I found a guy, and started my first relationship. Another long story short, he ended it. It shook me, it almost brought me back to that dark point in my past. But it's helped me grow that much stronger. I couldn't be more in love and devoted to God alone.
I'm also proud to say that I overcame all my fears and doubts about people, and I found myself again. I found my old personality again.
I'm going to be very real with you now, and I'm going to trust you.
I'm not a US citizen.
Meaning- no social, no green card, no visa, nothing. zip.
Meaning, I couldn't get a driver's license. Meaning, it's complicated to try to go to school. Meaning, I can't get a "normal" job. Plus, I don't even have my own transportation.
I've lived like this, during the whole time I've been here in the US.
It was my biggest struggle. It was my battle with God for a long time. But I've lived. I've survived. I've beaten the odds. I have a job right now. I have a roof over my head. I have great friends who help me out with rides.
I'm not saying this for you to pity me or to offer solutions. That doesn't matter. Never mind the fact that this can't change, unless I marry a citizen.
The fact is that I've lived on. There has been so many experiences, so many situations where I just wanted to quit everything. I did almost give up at times. But I believe everything happens for a reason, and everything always works out in the end.
I view my life as a puzzle. I don't regret anything that's happened. Really. I have no regrets whatsoever. Because I've realized why all these things happened. And all these things have made me strong. I believe it's all helped me to become the person I am today.
I know this is long, thanks so much if you read it all. I just want to encourage you. Don't give up. Stay strong. God is always, always there for you. He lifts you up from your ashes.
Feel free to message me/find me if you have any questions or comments. I'd be glad to answer them.
-Christine
I'd like to share my testimony with you. Hope you'll bear with me. I'm going to be real and honest with you and I hope you'll be blessed/encouraged.
I wasn't always Christian. My family was agnostic for a while. We came to the US from Korea when I was 7. After that, my parents grew curious and we did quite a lot of church-hopping.
We had settled in this one church in NJ. I was 12 at the time, and that particular day, a missionary came to speak at our church. It was the first time I had ever heard of struggling children around the world. It moved me, and that night, I told my mom that I wanted to go to a bible college and become a missionary. A few days later, I accepted God into my life.
And then I lived happily ever after... haha, far from it.
I'd been saved, but I didn't know what to do. I didn't have any mentors to help me. So it was almost like nothing had changed.
When I was 13, a lot of things happened.
I developed a hopeless crush on my pastor's son. and I thought it was the end of the world when he rejected me. One day in school, I was doodling his name in my notebook(yeah, I know..) and 2 "popular" girls behind me looked over to see what I was writing. His name was Sam, and they assumed that it was a girl's name. Then, spread a rumor around the school that I was a lesbian. For whatever reason, no one believed me. I lost my friends. I went through quite a lot of verbal and emotional abuse at that school. I wanted to go to my parents for support. But this was also the year when I became the oldest of 5 kids. And so, my parents assumed that I was now old enough to be responsible and handle myself.
It was at this point when I became very depressed, and attempted suicide. God literally saved me from that. A few days after that, our family up and moved to Illinois due to my dad's job. I don't think that was a coincidence at all. I believe I could've died if we hadn't moved.
The whole experience changed me completely. I was now fearful. I was very introverted. I didn't trust anyone and I was completely withdrawn. But the move helped me to start over again. I still believed in God, I did. I just thought there wasn't much to Him. And so for the rest of my high school years, I just blindly lived and stumbled along.
Then came time to apply for college. I was still set on going to a bible college, and I knew which one I wanted to go to. I was rejected. I didn't know what to do. A random bible college contacted me at the last minute, and I took the chance. It was there that I finally let my guard down, and found friends. It was there that my faith was awakened, and tested. Eventually, I had to drop out because of financial reasons. I fought with God every step of the way. But when I came home and really started spending time with God, I was able to see the reason. I was able to see it had been for a season. I applied two more times to the first bible college, and was again rejected.
In July 2007, I went on my first missions trip. I was a bit skeptical. But everything changed for me there.
I did my first Quiet Time, and I've been doing them since.
God revealed my calling to me audibly.
And I re-committed my life to Him. This time, I knew what I was doing. This time, my faith and love for Him just exploded. I wanted to get to know Him more.
So many things happened after this. So many things tried to discourage me, get me to break down and deny God.
In 2009, we moved back to NJ. I talked with God about this move. I knew I was ready to come back here. He told me He would call me to do His work here, and to brace myself.
Long story short, I found a church and became involved. I found a guy, and started my first relationship. Another long story short, he ended it. It shook me, it almost brought me back to that dark point in my past. But it's helped me grow that much stronger. I couldn't be more in love and devoted to God alone.
I'm also proud to say that I overcame all my fears and doubts about people, and I found myself again. I found my old personality again.
I'm going to be very real with you now, and I'm going to trust you.
I'm not a US citizen.
Meaning- no social, no green card, no visa, nothing. zip.
Meaning, I couldn't get a driver's license. Meaning, it's complicated to try to go to school. Meaning, I can't get a "normal" job. Plus, I don't even have my own transportation.
I've lived like this, during the whole time I've been here in the US.
It was my biggest struggle. It was my battle with God for a long time. But I've lived. I've survived. I've beaten the odds. I have a job right now. I have a roof over my head. I have great friends who help me out with rides.
I'm not saying this for you to pity me or to offer solutions. That doesn't matter. Never mind the fact that this can't change, unless I marry a citizen.
The fact is that I've lived on. There has been so many experiences, so many situations where I just wanted to quit everything. I did almost give up at times. But I believe everything happens for a reason, and everything always works out in the end.
I view my life as a puzzle. I don't regret anything that's happened. Really. I have no regrets whatsoever. Because I've realized why all these things happened. And all these things have made me strong. I believe it's all helped me to become the person I am today.
I know this is long, thanks so much if you read it all. I just want to encourage you. Don't give up. Stay strong. God is always, always there for you. He lifts you up from your ashes.
Feel free to message me/find me if you have any questions or comments. I'd be glad to answer them.
-Christine
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