Y
younkt
Guest
My name is Tina, I am 31 from the U.S.
I was raised for the 1st 10 years of my life in an LDS church. I was baptized on my 8th birthdays, as is customary. I obeyed most religious practices, went to church, participated, went to the Mormon temple, and so on. When I was 8 my mom got remarried, and her husbands family shared their God with me. Taught me about being a Jehovah's Witness, but I didn't like it. I thought this is not where I belong, so I didn't go. At 10 I questioned everything. How can there be this many churches and all claim to worship the same God. My teen years I bounced in and out of different churches, but had no clue what it meant to have Jesus as my personal savior.
Fast forward 8 years. I am pregnant, getting ready to graduate High school, and wanting to get married, because that is what you do. My then boyfriend went to a pastor of the church he went to and wished for him to marry us. He said No! He then after finding out I was pregnant laid out the ground rules which was, #1. we attend his church on a regular basis, #2 we attend pre-marital counseling. So, we did.
During pre-marital counseling I learned the truth about heaven and hell, and I wanted some "fire-insurance" so i asked Jesus Christ into my heart, and boy did he show up. We were married, and I learned so much, but then we moved. We were church homeless, and well away from home. It took a toll on our marriage and because of our sin, we called it quits, 11 months into our marriage. We both moved back home. We got divorced, and during visitation moments with our son, we rekindled our relationship, and later remarried, with a promise that God was going to be the center of our marriage.
So God met us there, and we were growing little by little. We had a 2nd child and stayed married for another 4 years. Then I was sleeping and got woken up to something horrid. My husband had raped 2 little girls. The same man that led me to Christ hurt children. 2 of them in my family. I was mortified. I called the police and my pastor, and grieved. I had no idea who this man was!
So, I continued to attend church as I blamed it all on God, and then questioned everything. I was hurt, embarrassed, and alone. I moved back into my parents house who convinced me that leaving church would save me from further embarrassment.
I was a single Mom, completely shut down all communication with the Lord, he was on my mind often, but i couldn't bring myself to ask for help, from a holy god, to a sinful person. My self-worth was about nil, and I hated myself.
5 years later I met a man, and married him after a very short time. I started re-seeking out God. We had children together, which put us up to 4 kids. Only 1 was his. I had a 3rd while I was wayward. Life was improving, but I couldn't get grounded in church, and my husband did not approve of church, and didn't want it brought into our lives. He went once or twice to make me happy, but didn't approve.
I was a horrible wife to him. Blamed him for everything that could go wrong in our lives, and was very mean to him. I controlled the house, the relationship, the kids, money, and everything. I was mean and horrible, because he was not going to get close and hurt me like my 1st husband did. He was at an arms distance away. I built emotional walls he couldn't penetrate, but for some strange reason, he persevered in our relationship. I was the farthest away from God I had ever been, and questioned his love for me. How could he love me, if I couldn't love me.
Our son together was 3, and it was Friday, July 4th weekend. we had all gathered at the babysitters, who had a pool. I had made her dinner, and was cleaning up after all the kids. i told my children including my son to help her clean the toy room. He went that direction. I was almost done, it was 5 minutes later and I went to check on her and the kids. She had inquired about my son, and I had told her that he went in there 5 minutes ago. My oldest son and I went on a search. My 3 year old boy had jumped in her pool and wasn't breathing.
We had administered CPR while my husband called an ambulance. We went to the local hospital who said he was a little coherent, but they were still working on keeping his organs working. We were ecstatic, but he had a long way to go. 2 hours later our little boy died.
We were in the room saying our goodbyes, grieving, screaming. My husband said God hates us, and I instantly rebuked him. It was like my eyes were opened. I knew that he was there. That night for the first time, my husband and I prayed together, but he was still unsaved.
At the funeral my husband was saved.
Since then we got grounded in church, and soon I will graduate the church's discipleship mission, and my husband is getting ready to start. (With his job there has been some hold-ups) Both of us are growing closer in our Relationship with Christ, and soon I will begin to teach new believers, and to train them in the word. God gets the glory from all of this. There is so much more I can say, but I will leave this simple.
I was raised for the 1st 10 years of my life in an LDS church. I was baptized on my 8th birthdays, as is customary. I obeyed most religious practices, went to church, participated, went to the Mormon temple, and so on. When I was 8 my mom got remarried, and her husbands family shared their God with me. Taught me about being a Jehovah's Witness, but I didn't like it. I thought this is not where I belong, so I didn't go. At 10 I questioned everything. How can there be this many churches and all claim to worship the same God. My teen years I bounced in and out of different churches, but had no clue what it meant to have Jesus as my personal savior.
Fast forward 8 years. I am pregnant, getting ready to graduate High school, and wanting to get married, because that is what you do. My then boyfriend went to a pastor of the church he went to and wished for him to marry us. He said No! He then after finding out I was pregnant laid out the ground rules which was, #1. we attend his church on a regular basis, #2 we attend pre-marital counseling. So, we did.
During pre-marital counseling I learned the truth about heaven and hell, and I wanted some "fire-insurance" so i asked Jesus Christ into my heart, and boy did he show up. We were married, and I learned so much, but then we moved. We were church homeless, and well away from home. It took a toll on our marriage and because of our sin, we called it quits, 11 months into our marriage. We both moved back home. We got divorced, and during visitation moments with our son, we rekindled our relationship, and later remarried, with a promise that God was going to be the center of our marriage.
So God met us there, and we were growing little by little. We had a 2nd child and stayed married for another 4 years. Then I was sleeping and got woken up to something horrid. My husband had raped 2 little girls. The same man that led me to Christ hurt children. 2 of them in my family. I was mortified. I called the police and my pastor, and grieved. I had no idea who this man was!
So, I continued to attend church as I blamed it all on God, and then questioned everything. I was hurt, embarrassed, and alone. I moved back into my parents house who convinced me that leaving church would save me from further embarrassment.
I was a single Mom, completely shut down all communication with the Lord, he was on my mind often, but i couldn't bring myself to ask for help, from a holy god, to a sinful person. My self-worth was about nil, and I hated myself.
5 years later I met a man, and married him after a very short time. I started re-seeking out God. We had children together, which put us up to 4 kids. Only 1 was his. I had a 3rd while I was wayward. Life was improving, but I couldn't get grounded in church, and my husband did not approve of church, and didn't want it brought into our lives. He went once or twice to make me happy, but didn't approve.
I was a horrible wife to him. Blamed him for everything that could go wrong in our lives, and was very mean to him. I controlled the house, the relationship, the kids, money, and everything. I was mean and horrible, because he was not going to get close and hurt me like my 1st husband did. He was at an arms distance away. I built emotional walls he couldn't penetrate, but for some strange reason, he persevered in our relationship. I was the farthest away from God I had ever been, and questioned his love for me. How could he love me, if I couldn't love me.
Our son together was 3, and it was Friday, July 4th weekend. we had all gathered at the babysitters, who had a pool. I had made her dinner, and was cleaning up after all the kids. i told my children including my son to help her clean the toy room. He went that direction. I was almost done, it was 5 minutes later and I went to check on her and the kids. She had inquired about my son, and I had told her that he went in there 5 minutes ago. My oldest son and I went on a search. My 3 year old boy had jumped in her pool and wasn't breathing.
We had administered CPR while my husband called an ambulance. We went to the local hospital who said he was a little coherent, but they were still working on keeping his organs working. We were ecstatic, but he had a long way to go. 2 hours later our little boy died.
We were in the room saying our goodbyes, grieving, screaming. My husband said God hates us, and I instantly rebuked him. It was like my eyes were opened. I knew that he was there. That night for the first time, my husband and I prayed together, but he was still unsaved.
At the funeral my husband was saved.
Since then we got grounded in church, and soon I will graduate the church's discipleship mission, and my husband is getting ready to start. (With his job there has been some hold-ups) Both of us are growing closer in our Relationship with Christ, and soon I will begin to teach new believers, and to train them in the word. God gets the glory from all of this. There is so much more I can say, but I will leave this simple.
