my train is derailing

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N

nixter

Guest
hey.

so so so frustrated with myself!!
One thing happend and well every bondage i thought i overcame came back.
please pray and well if you can give me practical advise...or just be a friend who can stand by me.

I struggle with:
Homosexuality: although i am a man of God and know that God does'nt make gay guys. He has a woman a beautiful girl out there for me. i know that i am not gay but....y cant i cjange or well stand against the lust and temptation...y am i keep saying just once more......ugggg!!
And well everytime aftarwards feel uncomfotable or well i feel dirty and just in that moment n feel happy. If only i had the love of a father at home. I guess were everything started.

Porn and matserbation: that lik bit of being in control and well again that once more feeling. i can go around a week and then suddently everything collapses in. everything starts like a circle who cant stop.life is out of control. How can i stop? how can i be well free of this addiction.

lonelyness: i welll seclude myself coz i dunt feel loved or well just worthy enough of Gods love...
I let God not be with me in everything i do....

sorry to all the ladies i know you guys complain about the guy stuf on here...and well im totally rock bottom and need friends/advise and well the truth.

God gave me a mission.....but i cant hear it.

please help/pray...i dunt need a thousand bible verses or well someone to hit me with anything but the truth.
 
God bless you

and God be with you.

It is hard to grow up in a family without a father.

And there's probably more.

Situations you've endured without understanding much,

and hardships you've endured,

which others have not had to face,

and not of your own making.

It is a battle.

Some have the luxury of not having to struggle for the things we need.

But it is a battle here, and ease and comfort do not build character.

A time will come when they too face challenges.

And will they be ready for them?

There is much in what you say that gives reason for hope.

You seem to see your situation clearly.

You have identified feelings in yourself, and know the source of them.

You know what your challenge is and where you want to go.

You know the Lord and know God loves you.

You know what He thinks and what He desires for you.

He loves you and wants the best for you.

You have family, and a mother?

Are they near?

Do they care?

Near or far, they care, even if it is hidden.

And they hope for you.

Even people of your neighbourhood and your people group are waiting to be proud of you,

proud of the young men who will endure.

And you will. You have.

And that is all that is required for victory.

So do not be so hard on yourself.

You have come far, and overcome much.

It is a battle.

You fall, but that is not defeat.

You are still standing.

And many more chances to go well are ahead.

God be with you and comfort you, and give to you blessing such as you cannot contain it.

I know it is coming.

Best wishes in Christ,

(Steve)
 
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

Reach out to people openly much like you have done here, and I'm sure you'll make friends that are willing to stand by you and offer advise on an as-needed basis.

I will save a prayer for you. God bless!
 
Bro, Read Rom. 6(the entire chapter) and Rom. 8:1-2. We have been freed from all sin, whenever you are tempted to sin or lusts confess the word and claim that you have been freed from it and you will not fall into sin! God has given your tongue the power to have whatever you say. Seek His face and all sin and earthly cares will fade, they will all be eclipsed by His love.
listen to 'Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus' and I'll put you in my prayers. God bless
 
nixter said:
hey.

so so so frustrated with myself!!
One thing happend and well every bondage i thought i overcame came back.
please pray and well if you can give me practical advise...or just be a friend who can stand by me.

I struggle with:
Homosexuality: although i am a man of God and know that God does'nt make gay guys. He has a woman a beautiful girl out there for me. i know that i am not gay but....y cant i cjange or well stand against the lust and temptation...y am i keep saying just once more......ugggg!!
And well everytime aftarwards feel uncomfotable or well i feel dirty and just in that moment n feel happy. If only i had the love of a father at home. I guess were everything started.

Porn and matserbation: that lik bit of being in control and well again that once more feeling. i can go around a week and then suddently everything collapses in. everything starts like a circle who cant stop.life is out of control. How can i stop? how can i be well free of this addiction.

lonelyness: i welll seclude myself coz i dunt feel loved or well just worthy enough of Gods love...
I let God not be with me in everything i do....

sorry to all the ladies i know you guys complain about the guy stuf on here...and well im totally rock bottom and need friends/advise and well the truth.

God gave me a mission.....but i cant hear it.

please help/pray...i dunt need a thousand bible verses or well someone to hit me with anything but the truth.
Click to expand...

Go court a godly woman! Get her as your girlfriend. Then you won't be lonely. Don't worry about masturbating! It's not wrong. Stop watching porn! It may only make you feel lonelier and lead you into making rash decisions and sinning. Every change in your actions starts with your heart, so clear your mind of evil desires and impure thoughts. The mind leads the body, and whatever you think about is whatever you will do.
 
I would not suggest getting a girlfriend. Most christians dating are looking for spouses, and marriage/dating is not a band aid. If you're going to enter into a committed relationship with another person where they are entrusting you with their emotions you need to be in a place where you are responsible and genuine enough to be with them. Running out and getting a girlfriend does not solve the issue. Plenty of married and dating people are still lonely. That is a selfish mindset to look to a girlfriend or spouse to 'fix' your lonliness, when true marriage is about self sacrifice, not getting your needs met by someone else.

Porn addiction is centered around the lonliness as well. But again, marriage dating does not fix this. There are tens of thousands of married men, or men that are dating that suffer porn addiction. Really this is a heart condition. I know it sounds cliche but really the key to it is making God the priority in your life. Letting the relationship you have with Him become central to you. And not in a manner where you focus only on your sins and letting God down. But as a multifacited relationship. Viewing God as your Father, you God, the one who Forgives, as Lord, as Friend, Provider, Comforter. Learn to see God not just as 'God' but as the many sides of who He is. Make it personal, not works based. Learn to love God, then the rest of your heart and actions will naturally follow. I imagine that will do a lot to resolve the homosexuality issues you deal with as well.

I might suggest doing a study to learn the names of God, and what they mean. Then apply those aspects of God to your relationship with Him, viewing Him as each of those aspects to you. While, yes, we need to be aware of our sins, and turning from them, at the same time we can't become so overly focused on them that we forsake the rest of our walk.

I'd also like to suggest a song to you. I really think it applies and will have an affect. Lecrae ft Cam - Desperate - YouTube
 
I was reading about someone's marital issues and it was tearing apart their marriage so I am thankful to hear you are continuing to work on this long before you enter a relationship. Here is what one guy reommended for someone else with the same issue:

www.covenanteyes.com

book: Pure Desire

Get in an FMO (For Men Only) Group

God Bless
 
Another good resource for the porn, and they may possibly have resources for the homosexuality as well, is XXXChurch.com
 
Ugly said:
I would not suggest getting a girlfriend. Most christians dating are looking for spouses, and marriage/dating is not a band aid. If you're going to enter into a committed relationship with another person where they are entrusting you with their emotions you need to be in a place where you are responsible and genuine enough to be with them. Running out and getting a girlfriend does not solve the issue. Plenty of married and dating people are still lonely. That is a selfish mindset to look to a girlfriend or spouse to 'fix' your lonliness, when true marriage is about self sacrifice, not getting your needs met by someone else.

Porn addiction is centered around the lonliness as well. But again, marriage dating does not fix this. There are tens of thousands of married men, or men that are dating that suffer porn addiction. Really this is a heart condition. I know it sounds cliche but really the key to it is making God the priority in your life. Letting the relationship you have with Him become central to you. And not in a manner where you focus only on your sins and letting God down. But as a multifacited relationship. Viewing God as your Father, you God, the one who Forgives, as Lord, as Friend, Provider, Comforter. Learn to see God not just as 'God' but as the many sides of who He is. Make it personal, not works based. Learn to love God, then the rest of your heart and actions will naturally follow. I imagine that will do a lot to resolve the homosexuality issues you deal with as well.

I might suggest doing a study to learn the names of God, and what they mean. Then apply those aspects of God to your relationship with Him, viewing Him as each of those aspects to you. While, yes, we need to be aware of our sins, and turning from them, at the same time we can't become so overly focused on them that we forsake the rest of our walk.

I'd also like to suggest a song to you. I really think it applies and will have an affect. Lecrae ft Cam - Desperate - YouTube
Click to expand...

I'd suggest doing whatever you want in the relationship department as long as it fits within God's will. Hence the godly woman reference. Back in Genesis God saw that it was not good for the man to be alone. Something not good should be remedied.

But like Ugly says, you shouldn't use people as bandaids. :p If you want a girlfriend then look for one. Best way to start is by being a friend to someone and getting to know them. Don't be desperate. Whether you start looking for them out of loneliness or not, make sure you would want to be with them as a friend or something more after the loneliness is over.

And if it works out then that's the only time you're allowed to use them as a bandaid. :cool: Also be wary of other women looking for rebound boyfriends from their recent breakups. Those relationships don't last very long.
 
Hi Nixter,

I am going through the exact same thing! Today I typed a journal entry to describe how I was feeling. I feel that it is too difficult to talk to others in my family and I also feel embarrassed to mention my homosexual proclivities. I have never had homosexual sex, but I am addicted to pornography and masturbation. Overall I know that I am not gay, but I just keep on feeding my curiosity.

It helps me to be social with people and to simply be out of the house. It also helps me to talk to other people, then I have less desire to look at porn. I resist porn more and I'm glad that I have other better things to do than that. I also hate to have pornographic images in my mind while I'm doing normal things during the day. I think I should simply go to sleep, read or do something else besides put that evil in front of my eyes. But even now I am tempted to look. The Bible says that the angels applaud when people walk away from temptation. I must keep that in mind more often. Knowing that God and the angels are applauding me for resisting temptation does a lot for me.

We can exchange emails and talk further about this if you would like. I sent you a friend request.

Cheers you and I can both beat this temptation.

--Aaron
 
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