Need advice

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Jul 16, 2020
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#1
Hello everyone, I’m not sure I’m posting this in the right spot or not-if not, I apologize. So this might be somewhat of a long post, I will try making it as short as possible though. About a year and a half ago a family moved into a house across the street from me. The lady that lives there has two teenagers and a kid that’s about seven or eight. When they first moved in there the teenage boy went up to a couple mailboxes on my street doing something to the mailboxes. It looked like he was damaging them. Definitely not an accident. His teenage sister was with him when he was doing it. She was watching him and laughing as he did it. Right when he got to my mailbox I went outside and said something to the mother about it. She asked the two of them if that is what they were doing, and they said no they weren’t doing anything wrong. After that she told me that if they said they weren’t doing anything wrong then they weren’t. She told me not to tell her how to parent her kids. So that was the first incident. Fast forward, and one day as I was sitting in my living room I heard something hit the window. I went to the door and seen that same teenager throwing walnuts (aiming) at my windows. Had to have been at least ten walnuts. So I went outside and said that I was calling the police. He went inside after I told him that. I went inside and called the police. The police went to their house and knocked on the door but no one answered. The police left after that. Nothing was done about it. I don’t even think the teenagers mom ever found out about it because she was not home at the time it happened. So fast forward again and every time he walks past my house he gestures at my security cameras, picks boundary flags out of my yard and throws them somewhere else in my yard. One day I seen him pick a flag out of my yard and I asked him if he could leave them alone, that they are there for a reason, and he threw the flag towards my front porch angry. His sister yelled “we aren’t doing anything.” Just recently the youngest one has started behaving in the same way. The youngest one kicks the flags in my yard, laughs at me when me and my daughter are outside. About a week ago my daughter and I were sitting outside and then suddenly the youngest kid flipped me off. Another day when we were sitting outside the teenage boy looked over at us and angrily threw a can down on the ground next to him while staring right at us. The teenager drives his mother’s car back and forth between their two driveways, without an adult with him. I don’t even know if he has a permit. Even if he does, still there is no one with him when he is moving the car. No one is even watching him. I have lived in my neighborhood for thirty years and have NEVER had neighbors like this. I don’t know what to do about it. I have tried ignoring them, I have tried talking to the parents, I have tried talking to the police about it. Nothing has been done about it. I can’t even explain the stress they have caused. I just don’t know what to do about it. If you could offer any advice, it would help tremendously. Thank you so much! God bless!
 

Joy4N8cher

Active member
Jul 8, 2020
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#2
I don't know if this is going to be helpful, but maybe just insightful as to one reason out of many why this may be happening?

As I ready through your post, I read "no one answered, nothing was done, without an adult with them, there is no one with him when he is moving the car, no one is watching him...." There is so much "alone" going on in that family. The parents seem absent, the kids are left to do whatever they please and they are probably starved for attention. They may see you and your kids spending time together and it is just so foreign to them. There is maybe not a lot of love in this family.

I feel for you as you just want peace and quiet in your yard. You don't want them to destroy your things and taunt you. I honestly do feel your frustration and would have a hard time with this as well.

I'm not trying to be all spiritual on you... but just something to honestly try. Pray for these kids to have intervention in their lives, for someone to care for them. They are definitely needing of leadership, love, boundaries, attention, and someone who can see the good in them and call that out. Pray that this deep need would be filled for them and that God would bring a light on any kind of abuse or mistreatment that may be going on behind closed doors. A lot of times when children act out like this, they truly are needing intervention. This may not come from you, but you can have an impact on them spiritually. They may have never had anyone pray for them in their entire lives.
All this does NOT make any of this easier for you or your family in the short run. Hopefully others will have input that could help in other ways. This is what comes to mind on the first read of this. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and frustrations here. I so value your transparency.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
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#3
Great response from Joy4N8cher and I agree with her. I was going to say something not as nice like taking pics of them in the process of doing things and showing it to the police. However, earnest prayers are responded quickly by our God. I will say a prayer of agreement that these kids will back off. God bless and help your family I pray, in Jesus' Name, Amen.
 

levi85

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2013
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#4
Lord bless, Lyndsey5599, and this prayer request. Lord stop this family, from causing disturbance to Lyndsey5599. Let you help and bless Lyndsey5599, to live peacefulyy and joyfully, without stress from this family. Lord please bless. In Jesus gracious name, Amen!
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
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#5
I can't say there's evidence of attention starvation. This all seems to be going on outside. When I was young, or a teen, I didn't go outside with my parents. Of someone were to judge my parents by how much they weren't around, when I was outside, people would assume that I was attention starved. As well as every kid on the block.

Rather what seems more fitting is that these kids have no consequences, so they don't expect them when they act out. And this is supported by the parent immediately taking their side and believing them to be innocent.
If I had to guess the parents are bullies and passing that behavior on to their kids, since the kids act like bullies themselves.
 
Jul 16, 2020
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#6
I can't say there's evidence of attention starvation. This all seems to be going on outside. When I was young, or a teen, I didn't go outside with my parents. Of someone were to judge my parents by how much they weren't around, when I was outside, people would assume that I was attention starved. As well as every kid on the block.

Rather what seems more fitting is that these kids have no consequences, so they don't expect them when they act out. And this is supported by the parent immediately taking their side and believing them to be innocent.
If I had to guess the parents are bullies and passing that behavior on to their kids, since the kids act like bullies themselves.
I can't say there's evidence of attention starvation. This all seems to be going on outside. When I was young, or a teen, I didn't go outside with my parents. Of someone were to judge my parents by how much they weren't around, when I was outside, people would assume that I was attention starved. As well as every kid on the block.

Rather what seems more fitting is that these kids have no consequences, so they don't expect them when they act out. And this is supported by the parent immediately taking their side and believing them to be innocent.
If I had to guess the parents are bullies and passing that behavior on to their kids, since the kids act like bullies themselves.
I completely agree. They are not disciplined at all. The mom is never out there with them. The teenage girl almost acts like the mom. The boy goes around hitting things-he even hits the dog they have.
 
Jul 16, 2020
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Thank you so much for all of the replies, all very helpful!!
 

Prycejosh1987

Well-known member
Jul 19, 2020
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I have lived in my neighborhood for thirty years and have NEVER had neighbors like this. I don’t know what to do about it. I have tried ignoring them, I have tried talking to the parents, I have tried talking to the police about it. Nothing has been done about it. I can’t even explain the stress they have caused. I just don’t know what to do about it. If you could offer any advice, it would help tremendously. Thank you so much! God bless!
When someone is a bully, tell the teacher. Good luck, i am praying for you.