need advice :(

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machita

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kindly need advice from anybody....

Ive been asking for a husband from God night and day for past a year...i told Him about type of man i want to get married with (one of christian brother of course who love God)
lately i am closed with my former classmate from 1996 when i was on the 8th grade...i kinda have crushed for him since and until now, i don't know if its love or just an obsession to get him as my boyfriend...

he is calling and text me everyday early in the morning and before go to bet (since he live far away) we don't see each other for years(only by phone since 2010) till last december i am going home for Christmas after a decade...he would company me every single day while i was there...and he empty his schedule for air conditioning reparation work for me...but, when i asked him how is he truly feel, he said that he is not sure of me....it hurt me but still i will replay his text, answer his phone...

he liked to get drunk with his friends almost 2 or 3 days a week and he will call me afterward just to chat and tell me what he did....he knows i would tell him please stop and he would pretend to be mad at me... i kinda confused is he is the one God is sending for me?because the communication between us is really intense and i can't stand not hearing his voice or just text him...I am still praying for an equivalent spouse until today and i am praying for him too...

if he is my spouse why is he act that way?did my faith is not strong enough so God is pending the answer of my question?

i want to get angry but i don't know who to blame for the rejection i felt.... :(
 
Well if your having doubts about rather or not he is right for you than he isnt the right one ... And if you let your own wants get ahead of you than you can mistaken that for what God wants maybe those ''signs'' are ones you just want to be there... Im sure God wouldnt put a man in your like who drinks every often Proverbs 20:1 says ''wine is a mocker and beer is a brawler whoever is let astray is not wise'' Just try and focus on God and see what is wants so he can show you wh is right for you.. I know this can be hard at times but GOOD THINGS COMES TO THOSE WO WAIT:D
God Bless you :)
 
Hi marchita
At this point, id say that man is defiantly not the man God wants for you. Getting drunk 2-3 days a week is not the type of man God will bring you. Likely if he's drinking that often he's not a Christian himself. Sounds to me like you just are wanting to get married, and since you've known this guy for a long time you're expecting that to mean something.
Simply having strong feelings for someone does not make things ok, or mean God has anything to do with it. This guy is calling you up and bragging, more or less, about what he does each night getting drunk even though you make it clear you don't like it. Then he gets angry at you (pretends to get angry? yeah right...) for telling him to stop. And if he's getting drunk, what is he doing that he's not telling you? Good chance this guy is into more things than he's telling you, and you're letting your desire for marriage and your feelings stop you from seeing that this guy is no good.
To be honest, you don't sound ready for marriage. Maybe that's why God hasn't brought you anyone yet. You need to learn a few things before you will be ready. One thing to learn is what a genuine prospect of a man that God will bring you will look like. If you're confused if God brought you a drunk as a husband or not, then you don't have the wisdom, knowledge, or discernment to know God's will, or even His basic guidelines for living. You also need to learn what marriage is all about. Marriage is not about 'i want to get married because 'everyone else is' or 'i want someone to take care of me' .. or 'i want to be fulfilled' or any other of those kinds of reason. Real marriage is two people sacrificing of themselves for the other. Marriage is not what you can get, but what you can give.
My suggestion is forget this guy. Stop worrying about getting married. Focus on learning what true marriage is about, focus on growing in God. Stop being angry because you're confused over something that is actually very obvious. That this man is not God's answer for you. Or stop being angry because you're not married when you are apparently not near ready.
 
Ugly said:
Hi marchita
At this point, id say that man is defiantly not the man God wants for you. Getting drunk 2-3 days a week is not the type of man God will bring you. Likely if he's drinking that often he's not a Christian himself. Sounds to me like you just are wanting to get married, and since you've known this guy for a long time you're expecting that to mean something.
Simply having strong feelings for someone does not make things ok, or mean God has anything to do with it. This guy is calling you up and bragging, more or less, about what he does each night getting drunk even though you make it clear you don't like it. Then he gets angry at you (pretends to get angry? yeah right...) for telling him to stop. And if he's getting drunk, what is he doing that he's not telling you? Good chance this guy is into more things than he's telling you, and you're letting your desire for marriage and your feelings stop you from seeing that this guy is no good.
To be honest, you don't sound ready for marriage. Maybe that's why God hasn't brought you anyone yet. You need to learn a few things before you will be ready. One thing to learn is what a genuine prospect of a man that God will bring you will look like. If you're confused if God brought you a drunk as a husband or not, then you don't have the wisdom, knowledge, or discernment to know God's will, or even His basic guidelines for living. You also need to learn what marriage is all about. Marriage is not about 'i want to get married because 'everyone else is' or 'i want someone to take care of me' .. or 'i want to be fulfilled' or any other of those kinds of reason. Real marriage is two people sacrificing of themselves for the other. Marriage is not what you can get, but what you can give.
My suggestion is forget this guy. Stop worrying about getting married. Focus on learning what true marriage is about, focus on growing in God. Stop being angry because you're confused over something that is actually very obvious. That this man is not God's answer for you. Or stop being angry because you're not married when you are apparently not near ready.
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^^^^^yeah that.
 
hey i pray for you i know this stuff can be realy hard

there was a girl that i realy liked and wanted to marry and i realy loved her and thourght about her all the time we also had a close very close friendship and i was so close to going out with her many times but i think God just stoped it happening because that was not what he wanted for me im still finding it hard

but one thing ive learned through this is God loves us as much more than we could ever love any one in this world he loves us a lot

and God realy loves all the people of this world a lot

I pray Gods will be done in Your life and i pray he will find you a awsome man

I pray for strength and Gods Wisdom for you

Nath
 
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Ugly said:
Hi marchita
At this point, id say that man is defiantly not the man God wants for you. Getting drunk 2-3 days a week is not the type of man God will bring you. Likely if he's drinking that often he's not a Christian himself. Sounds to me like you just are wanting to get married, and since you've known this guy for a long time you're expecting that to mean something.
Simply having strong feelings for someone does not make things ok, or mean God has anything to do with it. This guy is calling you up and bragging, more or less, about what he does each night getting drunk even though you make it clear you don't like it. Then he gets angry at you (pretends to get angry? yeah right...) for telling him to stop. And if he's getting drunk, what is he doing that he's not telling you? Good chance this guy is into more things than he's telling you, and you're letting your desire for marriage and your feelings stop you from seeing that this guy is no good.
To be honest, you don't sound ready for marriage. Maybe that's why God hasn't brought you anyone yet. You need to learn a few things before you will be ready. One thing to learn is what a genuine prospect of a man that God will bring you will look like. If you're confused if God brought you a drunk as a husband or not, then you don't have the wisdom, knowledge, or discernment to know God's will, or even His basic guidelines for living. You also need to learn what marriage is all about. Marriage is not about 'i want to get married because 'everyone else is' or 'i want someone to take care of me' .. or 'i want to be fulfilled' or any other of those kinds of reason. Real marriage is two people sacrificing of themselves for the other. Marriage is not what you can get, but what you can give.
My suggestion is forget this guy. Stop worrying about getting married. Focus on learning what true marriage is about, focus on growing in God. Stop being angry because you're confused over something that is actually very obvious. That this man is not God's answer for you. Or stop being angry because you're not married when you are apparently not near ready.
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Great advice.........
 
Hi

If God truly has sent someone to you, then this God-led person should possess the following characteristics:

1. Is he a born-again believer? Do you recognize that Jesus is Lord of his life?
2. Does he demonstrate the willingness to walk with God everyday?
3. Is he willing to commit to a God-sanctified Marriage?

If you can't find these in him, then you need to be very bold to make a decision here. Also, God give woman a very strong intuition to recognize such things. And together with the Holy Spirit's leading, you should be able to discern what God wants.

I pray that God's wisdom will be upon you as you venture in this issue.

In the meantime, do not restrict yourself to just him. Go out and enjoy healthy group activities - sports, church fellowship where you get to meet lots of people.
 
hiya guys...tyvm for all the advice...
@Ugly : ur words slap me on the face and i really greatfull for that....ur advice is a sweat-bitter fact that i have to admit that i am (maybe)not ready enough for this marriage things :)
i will continue praying :)

God bless u all!!!
 
Ugly said:
Hi marchita
At this point, id say that man is defiantly not the man God wants for you. Getting drunk 2-3 days a week is not the type of man God will bring you. Likely if he's drinking that often he's not a Christian himself. Sounds to me like you just are wanting to get married, and since you've known this guy for a long time you're expecting that to mean something.
Simply having strong feelings for someone does not make things ok, or mean God has anything to do with it. This guy is calling you up and bragging, more or less, about what he does each night getting drunk even though you make it clear you don't like it. Then he gets angry at you (pretends to get angry? yeah right...) for telling him to stop. And if he's getting drunk, what is he doing that he's not telling you? Good chance this guy is into more things than he's telling you, and you're letting your desire for marriage and your feelings stop you from seeing that this guy is no good.
To be honest, you don't sound ready for marriage. Maybe that's why God hasn't brought you anyone yet. You need to learn a few things before you will be ready. One thing to learn is what a genuine prospect of a man that God will bring you will look like. If you're confused if God brought you a drunk as a husband or not, then you don't have the wisdom, knowledge, or discernment to know God's will, or even His basic guidelines for living. You also need to learn what marriage is all about. Marriage is not about 'i want to get married because 'everyone else is' or 'i want someone to take care of me' .. or 'i want to be fulfilled' or any other of those kinds of reason. Real marriage is two people sacrificing of themselves for the other. Marriage is not what you can get, but what you can give.
My suggestion is forget this guy. Stop worrying about getting married. Focus on learning what true marriage is about, focus on growing in God. Stop being angry because you're confused over something that is actually very obvious. That this man is not God's answer for you. Or stop being angry because you're not married when you are apparently not near ready.
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Amen, ug.

Wait on the Lord, machy. Isaiah 40:31. I knoow , hard to do but He(God) will be with you too, showing patience is easy with Him as you wait and focus and grow closer to God, as ug said, an, helping you do things to stay positive and keep patient . And when you are ready, no doubt God will give you the desires of your heart. :). Psalms 37:4
 
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machita said:
hiya guys...tyvm for all the advice...
@Ugly : ur words slap me on the face and i really greatfull for that....ur advice is a sweat-bitter fact that i have to admit that i am (maybe)not ready enough for this marriage things :)
i will continue praying :)

God bless u all!!!
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Glad you were able to hear my message and intent and look past the directness. Some people have a hard time with that. haha. Thats a good start for you (=
 
:) ty ugly :)

by the way...i kinda take a step about it....i pray asking Jesus to forgive me for forcing my will not following His will...and than couple of days later my former classmate contact me and than he said that he had enough with his way of living...he said that he was tired...he told me about "camp pria sejati"(i don't know what it is in english) it's a camp for christian man to show them about how a christian man should do in life according to the truth from the Holy Bible, and he already asking Jesus to be his saviour. latter he told me about everything he has done with his life for the past 13 years and he told me that he wants to marry me within 1 year...

my answer is so simple....i told him that i wasn't ready for marriege things and i am not sure yet if he was the one...and why don't we continue praying for each other and ask God if we were ment for each other....

his respond is shocking me...he said "ok than lets pray for this matter...and see what God's will about this.."
so today we talked about everything, empowering each other...i don't know how long it will last but what i know is we both want to be part of God's plan and praying everyday for each other....

for some ppl they said it's impossible that it happened so fast...but i know that my Jesus is powerfull,mercyfull and everythings that happened never without His permision....

God Bless!!!

tyvm for all ur suggestion :)
 
That's awesome that you told him you may not be ready and that you're both in prayer about it. When God is directing things and we're listening, it could very easily go that fast. Keep praying about it and don't rush it.
 
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