T
Texan4sure
Guest
I am 54 years old. I was previously married for 31 years and divorced when to put it mildly my husband had a mid life crisis. I started my life over and put my trust in God...knowing He had a plan for my life. He's blessed me in countless ways since then. After living out of state for 33years due to the military, I moved back home to Texas and reconnected with family. I remarried. I have two children ages 30 and 26. My husband has 5, ages 30, 26,24,18 and 14. The 14 year old son lives with us. His mother had gastric bypass surgery, lost alot of weight, started hanging out at bars and eventually left for another man. She rarely calls or visits her son and has little contact with the grown children or the grandchildren (we have six between us). We have been together for three years, married for one. My husband is a good, kind man. For the first time in my life i feel loved, respected and appreciated. We have a good church home and many of our family members also belong to it. We hold bible study at our home weekly. So many good changes have happened to our families since we met. But I am struggling with something. Our 14 year old has ADHD. He is in 8th grade. At the beginning of the year he claimed he was being bullied at school and we came to find out he was also bullying several kids. Then he was having trouble in some classes and through his counselor we found out he was telling some big lies, such as his mother died, then his older brother died in Afghanistan, etc. then we found out he bought and watched porn while staying at his sisters house, then at my daughters house and then our house. I found out because our bill two months in a row was very high. The first month i thought it was because we watched a few movies over the holidays, but the second month was worse so i reviewed the bill online and thats how i found out. He had 14 movies he had purchased over Christmas break. Apparently he wasn't just sleeping in his room. Needless to say he lost tv privileges, which he shouldn't have had in his room to begin with, but that's another story. After that he stole my cell phone, but I found it in his room because I had find my iPhone installed. Then found cigarettes and a pot pipe in his room. Next it was stealing some cologne I just bought his dad. The final straw for me was he stole personal items from our bedroom, items that he had to have been in our closet , dressers and night stands to get, including several pairs of my underwear. Now my ipod is missing and i am pretty sure he has it. he has one of his own though. Needless to say I'm worried. Some of these things my husband says are normal teenage things, but I disagree. I think there are deeper issues here and we need to nip these in the bud before they get worse! He sees a counselor periodically for the ADHD. I think he needs to go more often. I think there are deeper issues here. I'm angry and I feel bad for being angry, but I feel my privacy has been violated and There needs to be consequences. but he had already lost tv privileges, his cell phone, his computer (because he punched a boy at school then bragged about it on facebook.). he is very disrespectful to his dad. He talks back, sometimes curses at him, rolls his eyes, the whole bit. I have spent time with him horseback riding, movies, out to eat, bike riding. I'm sure he misses his mom and I'm sure it's painful for him, so I try to be a part of his life. We do a lot of family things together. So this just baffles me. I work from home, so I'm here when he gets home from school. It's a good stable home. I just don't know what to do. My 76 year old mom lives with us. They like each other alot. He's got a lot of people that care about him and love him, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. What are we doing wrong? Please help!
