OK people so I know something that's suppose to be a secrete, the kind of secrete that can get people in trouble if it gets out before its suppose to... However i also know someone who is hurting and the information want make the pain go away but it may help them to know something.. But I don't know if I should tell them, or just let it be and let them find out when it comes out.
Need some guidance.
- Thread starter allaboutlove
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Ultimatum77
Guest
If you care about them let them know, so they can process the shock/grief faster....just make sure it's in a private place and not somewhere public to make a scene....
I do still care about the person, but we haven't exactly been close in a long time so I'm not sure if I can trust them not to tell others.
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Ultimatum77
Guest
Hmm.. I don't know what to say then....if it affects you personally then tell a trusted friend if it's about someone else for example you found someone cheating on their spouse....maybe confront that person who's cheating and tell them to confess to their spouse??? IDK man, if it's something illegal like drug use you may just want to spill the news, it may save someone's life....
Its nothing like any of those... Its information about someone's passing that hasn't been made public yet.
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Ultimatum77
Guest
oh ok, well if it's already in the obituary section of the newspaper/local internet paper then I don't see any problem with telling them...but again....some people can't hold a secret like a bucket with a hole in the bottom trying to hold water...go with your gut feeling....depending on who you think should know and those who shouldn't but like to gossip....
If it's a secret, keep it secret. If it's about someone's passing, then their family should tell them the "information" about it. Unless the info is hurtful or disturbing, in which case they probably don't need, or want to know.
The person I know is family with the person that passed, the family dosent know the details yet they've been asking for them sence it happend.
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mrdesire
Guest
It might hurt them worse, tell the person(s) connected to the person to say something.
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Depleted
Guest
How I resolved this problem -- I let people know I don't keep secrets. Usually "secrets" are gossip anyway, so why have them? That way, if they decide to tell me anyway, I am free to ignore (which is usually the best thing to do), or to let the person it could help know what's going on.
Learn this early and you don't go through the lifetime of frustration I've gone through.
One important thing to consider though -- is the secret accurate? That's the problem with gossip it does a whisper-down-the-lane kind of thing, and when past on, it's also altered by the person telling the story's whim.
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Depleted
Guest
This might help. My husband had a massive heart attack, so ended up in the hospital. I chose not to tell anyone, because I knew the second I did, whoever I told would keep calling to ask me for updates, or worse yet, they'd expect me to call the with nightly updates. Big families! And then there are friends. And then there are neighbors. I'm treading water trying to keep the house as together as possible, visiting him, and nagging doctors/nurses often to get stuff done. I'm exhausted at night. And this isn't the first time ever hubby has been in the hospital, so I really do know family would demand updates, but won't go visit him. So, why?
Now, I didn't lie to anyone. When someone asked me how he's doing, I told, which pretty much got the word out, but God's grace -- in small doses over a long period of time, so I was never swamped with phone calls.
Six weeks before he opened his eyes. (Sedated, not a coma.) Another four weeks before he could talk. Finally! I was no longer responsible for all the consents. But he was delirious, and the nurse told me it would be good if he saw people to get his mind back to reality, so I asked him who he wanted me to tell to come to visit him. He gave me three names, and one was his brother. None were his sisters.
His brother immediately wanted to know if he could tell his sisters. I'm no longer responsible for hubby's decisions, so I told him to ask hubby.
So, yeah, there are reasons people ask to keep family illnesses and deaths a secret. It's overwhelming for the one responsible for all the decisions. Whoever told you first was wrong to do so. Since that person had enough time on his/her hands to tell you, call and have him/her tell that family member. And then clarify why the family is withholding that info. (Trust me. The second question everyone asks is, "Why didn't you tell me before this?")
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Chuckt
Guest
Go tell.
Ephesians 5:11King James Version (KJV)
11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.
"Reprove" means "Expose".
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+5:11
And remember: What makes manifest is light!!!
Ephesians 5:13 But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light.
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Chozzen
Guest
I feel it depends on who they are to you. Is the secret worth protecting? If it's someone who you aren't that close to I say stay out of it. In life when things aren't dealt, it works out on its own eventually.