Needing to be a better friend.

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JustAnotherUser

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So I talked to my friend earlier about an event she attended earlier on in the day. She met a family member which she didn't get along with so well and she's told me a bit about them as time went on before this and why she doesn't like this family member. She said that at this event they talked, had a bit of a good time and hopes that they can be a bit active when involved to see each other during holidays and events. In turn I eventually asked her 'you think she could be nice just to try getting something out of you?' and my friend agrees it could be.

So later on she says she was going to bed and we agreed as of lately that before one of us leaves we have to exchange at least one compliment about one another whether if it's something physical or just something about ourselves. We exchange, I said about her that she seems to care about family and being family oriented and that it'll help in the long run. Without thinking so much until a few minutes later on it, it dawned on me that based on what I said as a response to all she said earlier was in fact completely unnecessary, even if it were to be a possibility.

Now, her and I are pretty close and we've had ugly sides with conversations that had us mad at one another and would be bold about some things. Sometimes I even have to swallow up some of what she says when I share anything if I get offended and whether she meant to be mean or not since in the end we do mean well and are pretty close while not always getting along anyway. We could take many things towards one another but occasionally have our breaking points. But it made me realize that while she was at this event and having a good time having a mini reunion with a part of family that normally can't stand one another, I just decide to put my input in as if it's nothing that is honestly none of my business to begin with. If my friend wants to be happy while we both know how it feels to have family members that over and over again disappoint often, then why should I continue to stop her just because I don't ever feel like that about my situations with such or always try looking out for the worst on both of us? The fact that this made her happy and whether that cousin actually meant it or not towards them shouldn't be stomped on even if she never took my input that serious and was aware.

It makes me think if I really am that great of a friend as I would want to make myself to be. Especially when having a friend and knowing I can trust them as much as I do to this one, I would want to try any way that I can to make them happy and know they have company if they need it for any reason. But when you're that comfortable with the ugly side of the way conversations are ran or even how one can think about it in the process when it can even originally be something good is something that should be a bit out of line. Not to say we need to be happy and cheerful every time someone says something, what would be the point of having a friend if all you do is try to make things good to the point it can get bad itself? But there needs to be limits and know that even if you don't entirely agree with something someone says or feel a need to just say something negative, we have to put on a positive outlook FOR them so we can see them happy. Isn't that what one would want if they are a true friend? Nobody really wants to be friends with a pessimistic and that's just what I really can be. I'm surprised after all this time and what we've been through she can even still put up with me.

With that, I must close this blog and say that yeah... I need to be a better and more considerate friend. We need to think twice before we say some things no matter how comfortable we are with another person when it's needed.
 
Pitifully or "joyfully" life has both sides: The possitive and the negative. To get friends -real ones- both have to be considered. I can see the possitive within the negative but, I{m not the kind who always would tell those things ANY would like to hear in his/her ears, because I have my own perception of life and, if any turns a boot licker, he/she probably would be rejected, any time, for being like that also. Friendship, as I see it, could be like the fellowship we can build in marriage but, those who really partake that felllowship, that commonwealth or ideas, are better glued to reamain, all the way through. :)