Newlywed Divorce

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#41
Don't lose heart and pray for your husband and your marriage. May you both work it out. Maybe you are under attack, be strong and win him back. Marriage is sacred, don't give up just yet. Divorce is a word that should be banned in the house specially when couples are fighting. It should not be an option. May you find a way to restore your marriage.
 
L

Lennamorning

Guest
#42




Well I come at this issue from a different perspective than others here.I actually did meet my husband online also. We talked for a month before we met. Then we met in a safe place, a restaurant my friend owned. We had a lot in common and we decided to date.He came to my parents house to pick me up each weekend,so they got to know him. We dated for 4yrs before we were engaged. And took another 3yrs before we got married. We took so long some of my family laughed at me and said we'd never marry.I ignored them,we wanted to be sure and take our time. I never asked for,nor mentioned a ring.I wanted him to ask me to marry if and when he was ready.Once we were engaged I planned no wedding.I waited until he had a good job in my area,he lived an hour away,and we bought our house before we married. He lived in our house for a year alone. So Im saying all that to say this,you jumped the gun. You rushed into a relationship. God isn't to blame. God can make the best out of a bad situation but there are consequences for the mistakes we make. You need to be careful of your child.If he doesn't want to be married its doubtless he'll want a child. Yes,God will see you through. But be more careful of quick decisions and jumping in. Take more time to pray and wait on the Lord.
You know for a person in such desperate straits you seem very sarcastic. I hope you aren't trolling this site for attention.Because if I was in your situation I wouldn't be concerned with smart talking back to people,I'd be taking any Godly advice I could get. If you came here for prayer there is a prayer forum. I dont know why you gave your personal details and snap at people who comment on your own words. Thats extremely strange.
You can't really believe that I posted my personal details on here. Laughable!
 

JosephsDreams

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2015
4,313
467
83
#43
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
– Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)
Prayer is the antidote to anxiety, for prayer reminds us that God is ultimately in charge of everything. Are you captured by your anxieties? How is your prayer life? Peace that is beyond all of understanding is waiting for those who can cast their cares upon the One who cares for them


By Dave Whitehead

 

Born_Again

Senior Member
Nov 15, 2014
1,581
127
63
#44
Quick question.... Have you ever been married before? Before you met him, or is this your first rodeo? I know you said you dont believe in divorce, but not sure if that has always been your stance or if this is new due to a previous situation.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,862
9,581
113
#45
You can't really believe that I posted my personal details on here. Laughable!

You posted that you met a guy online, met him in person and had sex, married him and now you're pregnant. Those ARE personal details. Hello!! :/ If telling a public forum that you had a romp in the hay with some guy you didn't even know isn't personal, then I don't know what is.. lol
 
T

Txroads

Guest
#46
You are very sweet and I am so happy for someone like you to respond without passing judgement. This is a rough situation in which I know i will get through with God's help. It's unfortunate but life deals lessons that are hard to deal with at times. Thank God we have Him as our Lord and Savior necause without Jesus and His sacrifice I would have no hope and death would surely follow. God bless you my Texan friend (Texas is my second home).
PM me......
 
L

LiJo

Guest
#47
Lucky for you and me that I don't care what you think!
Lenna,

You came here for support and prayers.....you've shared your problems with us.....what did you really expect us as Christians to say to you? Truth is, we will not tell you what you did was right, because that would be a fib. You've been ungrateful with the advices shared by others.

I truly am sorry that you've gotten yourself in this predictament and pray that God will help you through this and that you will honor and give him the glory for his grace and mercy on you.
 

Born_Again

Senior Member
Nov 15, 2014
1,581
127
63
#48
I'll just come out and say it, as I am not looking to score points with anyone....... Emotions ruled this one completely. This is a product of poor decision making. By our 30's we are supposed to have figured this out. I can imagine by 30 or so that if you haven't started a family by now, time is running out. So an opportunity comes up, and you jump on it. And now you have the end result.

Yes, you can pray about it. But lets be real. Dude aint gonna change his mind. Even if he stays, your marriage wont be very healthy. You barely know him and he barely knows you. He has realized this and filled with regret. But dont put this all on him.

If this wasn't God's will and you did it anyways, God isn't going to suddenly make it His will. If it is His will, then you two have a lot of struggle ahead of you until you get where God wants you to be... I suppose it could go either way. But don't act surprised it went this way. Common sense clearly dictates this was going to blow up.
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#49
Screenshot_2016-04-29-21-04-48-31.jpg

Maybe this book can help you. If you dont know each other then marriage is the best place to know each other.
 
Last edited:
Dec 1, 2014
9,701
251
0
#50
Well I'm glad you are man and that your opinion does not count in life. Yay...
Try again, sunshine. MultilingualMessenger is a beautiful woman, mind, body and soul. You could learn a thing or two from her if you bother to shut your mouth.
 
W

WarriorForChrist

Guest
#51
Lucky for me your opinion does not count. Don't speak on what you don't know. On second thought, keep on preaching YOUR gospel.
So you come on here and tell us your issues and when we give you advice you attack us. Tell me where in the bible it says we can't judge? We are to judge righteously John 7:24. If you really understood God then you wouldn't be attacking those who are giving you advice and speaking the truth.
 
E

ember

Guest
#52
well low and behold I also met my husband of 16 years online and married him within 2 months which I don't recommend by the way...however, that's what happened

there is no option for saying 'why God?' when someone goes ahead and 'does their thing'

thankfully, we are both Christians and both understand our vows...we have thrashed it out pretty good on numerous occasions and I expect shall continue to do so

that is pretty much what happens...some marriages are quieter than others, but when you get 2 strong personalities together something's gotta give...I will say that if it were not for my husband and God, I would have departed by now because flight is my go to response

anyway, only God can make something out of the messes we make...and dear Lenna you did make something of a mess

in no way do I judge, fault or condemn you...but I do feel for you...look neither left or right...keep your focus on Jesus but you do need to understand there is no guarantee that your 'husband' will do a 180...we cannot change others...we can only change ourselves and that only as well allow God to speak to our hearts and humble ourselves before Him

again, no judgement here...but it is painful and might get more so...I am truly sorry...
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,862
9,581
113
#53
I don't even know why the OP bothered posting what she did. She has said she doesn't care what we say and our opinions don't matter to her. She wants sugar-coated truth, not reality.
 

Born_Again

Senior Member
Nov 15, 2014
1,581
127
63
#54
I don't even know why the OP bothered posting what she did. She has said she doesn't care what we say and our opinions don't matter to her. She wants sugar-coated truth, not reality.
She was hoping we would help justify her situation and make her husband out to be the bad guy in this and tell her it was going to work out for her. But, since we told her the truth about her decision making and she doesn't want to accept blame, she fired back at us.
 
W

WarriorForChrist

Guest
#55
I don't even know why the OP bothered posting what she did. She has said she doesn't care what we say and our opinions don't matter to her. She wants sugar-coated truth, not reality.
Exactly. I think most "so called Christians" think just because we speak the truth that it isn't out of love. The Word of God is truth and it doesn't sugar coat anything. God says he will spit out luke warm christians and I fear the majority of Christians are luke warm.
 
E

ember

Guest
#56
guys...don't gang up on her...come on...let's be adults....this is what it means to carry another's burdens

do you actually think she really does not care?

how many times have you said that yourself when you actually did care and said that to avoid pain?

I used to say 'I don't care all the time' and one day God stopped me in my tracks and pretty much made clear to me that some of the results I was getting were a direct result of my words...so, back it up...so I don't say I don't care anymore...I say what I really feel...to God...and at least that's genuine

not scolding anyone...maybe just do a personal inventory?
 
W

WarriorForChrist

Guest
#57
guys...don't gang up on her...come on...let's be adults....this is what it means to carry another's burdens

do you actually think she really does not care?

how many times have you said that yourself when you actually did care and said that to avoid pain?

I used to say 'I don't care all the time' and one day God stopped me in my tracks and pretty much made clear to me that some of the results I was getting were a direct result of my words...so, back it up...so I don't say I don't care anymore...I say what I really feel...to God...and at least that's genuine

not scolding anyone...maybe just do a personal inventory?
The truth is what she needs. And the truth is she made a mistake and that mistake is causing her issues. If a Christian doesn't realize they are living in sin then they aren't going to get any help. She must realize she is living in sin and then repent of that sin and get right with God. This is the solution for all of us. I don't see this as ganging up on her. This is the problem with most Christians is they see truth as being not loving. Not telling them the truth would be more not loving than anything.
 

Born_Again

Senior Member
Nov 15, 2014
1,581
127
63
#58
guys...don't gang up on her...come on...let's be adults....this is what it means to carry another's burdens

do you actually think she really does not care?

how many times have you said that yourself when you actually did care and said that to avoid pain?

I used to say 'I don't care all the time' and one day God stopped me in my tracks and pretty much made clear to me that some of the results I was getting were a direct result of my words...so, back it up...so I don't say I don't care anymore...I say what I really feel...to God...and at least that's genuine

not scolding anyone...maybe just do a personal inventory?
This is not a "hug it out" situation here, Ember. We are not ganging up on anyone. We told her the truth. Sugar coating doesnt help.
 
E

ember

Guest
#59
The truth is what she needs. And the truth is she made a mistake and that mistake is causing her issues. If a Christian doesn't realize they are living in sin then they aren't going to get any help. She must realize she is living in sin and then repent of that sin and get right with God. This is the solution for all of us. I don't see this as ganging up on her. This is the problem with most Christians is they see truth as being not loving. Not telling them the truth would be more not loving than anything.
there is no denying it and you think she does not know that?

the next time you mess up, do you suppose Jesus will whack you with a big family edition size, genealogies included, gold leaf edition of the Bible?

God grieves over situations like this and folks somehow have it in their churched to death heads that the person needs a d--- good whooping behind the barn

what kind of Christianity is so (delete) offended all the time? and I know you get that language Utah...so it's there for emphasis

don't tell me how holy you all are..put down your stones...my God...can't you all see what is going on in these forums and every other Christian forum?

and now my standard response...whatever
 

JosephsDreams

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2015
4,313
467
83
#60
I don't even know why the OP bothered posting what she did. She has said she doesn't care what we say and our opinions don't matter to her. She wants sugar-coated truth, not reality.
We are all at different places in out journey's with Christ, and in different areas of our life. True, we must speak in truth, and in love, but when Christ said that sometimes we can't bear to hear somethings, He know what He spoke of.
I have been, you have been there, we all have.
We have to keep praying for her. More power in that then in our posts to her, no matter how biblical or sound the words.