No Perfect Marriages

[DiscipleDave]

There is no such thing as a perfect Christian Marriage.
satan is going to attack any Christian Marriage. A Union of a marriage is a Godly thing, and satan wants nothing more than to destroy it. satan will use porn, money, kids, jobs, or whatever else he can do to try to destroy your marriage. Realizing that it is the enemy that is attacking your marriage is the first step.

Here is the most important thing for you to remember. ARE YOU living in such a way that is pleasing to God. It doesn't matter what your spouse is doing or not doing, are YOU living in such a way that is Godly. Remember if YOU draw close to God, then He will draw close to YOU. But if you are drowning in your own problems and situation, blaming your spouse, blaming the porn, blaming the drugs, or whatever else that satan brings into your marriage, you can easily lose site of the ONE who can fix it. Draw close to God, and He will draw close to you.

i don't know how many couples i have counseled about their marital problems, and neither go to church, neither pray continually, neither read the Word of God daily, and they wander why they are having problems in their marriage. Because God is not there. YOU want God to help your marriage, then draw close to God.

How many people don't know what to do about their problems they are having in their marriage, They will seek advice from family, from friends, from ChristianChat. When the Spirit of Truth is more than willing to reveal to them what they need to do. BUT that person's Spirit is to weak to reveal to the physical mind what they need to do. And why is their Spirit weak, because that person is not feeding that Spirit to give it enough Strength to reveal something Spiritual to the physical mind. How do you feed the Spirit? By reading or listening to the Word of God. That is what gives your Spirit strength, that is what feeds the Spirit inside of you. Again, draw close to God, and then He will draw close to you.

Want God in your marriage? Then get God in your life. Go to Church, join Church functions, Read the Word every day, pray and give thanks for your meals, join a Bible study, make pray time in your house, JUST DO SOMETHING to get God back into your life.

You make Jesus the Love of your life ABOVE anyone else, then you will find out the problems that you have aren't nearly as big as you think they are. Keep your eye on the big picture, Eternity with Jesus Christ in Heaven.

^i^

††† In His Holy and Precious Name, Jesus Christ †††

DiscipleDave.com

 

[Tinuviel]

There is no such thing as a perfect Christian Marriage.
satan is going to attack any Christian Marriage. A Union of a marriage is a Godly thing, and satan wants nothing more than to destroy it. satan will use porn, money, kids, jobs, or whatever else he can do to try to destroy your marriage. Realizing that it is the enemy that is attacking your marriage is the first step.

Here is the most important thing for you to remember. ARE YOU living in such a way that is pleasing to God. It doesn't matter what your spouse is doing or not doing, are YOU living in such a way that is Godly. Remember if YOU draw close to God, then He will draw close to YOU. But if you are drowning in your own problems and situation, blaming your spouse, blaming the porn, blaming the drugs, or whatever else that satan brings into your marriage, you can easily lose site of the ONE who can fix it. Draw close to God, and He will draw close to you.

i don't know how many couples i have counseled about their marital problems, and neither go to church, neither pray continually, neither read the Word of God daily, and they wander why they are having problems in their marriage. Because God is not there. YOU want God to help your marriage, then draw close to God.

How many people don't know what to do about their problems they are having in their marriage, They will seek advice from family, from friends, from ChristianChat. When the Spirit of Truth is more than willing to reveal to them what they need to do. BUT that person's Spirit is to weak to reveal to the physical mind what they need to do. And why is their Spirit weak, because that person is not feeding that Spirit to give it enough Strength to reveal something Spiritual to the physical mind. How do you feed the Spirit? By reading or listening to the Word of God. That is what gives your Spirit strength, that is what feeds the Spirit inside of you. Again, draw close to God, and then He will draw close to you.

Want God in your marriage? Then get God in your life. Go to Church, join Church functions, Read the Word every day, pray and give thanks for your meals, join a Bible study, make pray time in your house, JUST DO SOMETHING to get God back into your life.

You make Jesus the Love of your life ABOVE anyone else, then you will find out the problems that you have aren't nearly as big as you think they are. Keep your eye on the big picture, Eternity with Jesus Christ in Heaven.

^i^

††† In His Holy and Precious Name, Jesus Christ †††

DiscipleDave.com

Amen! The same could probably be said for any relationship.

 

[tourist]

Have you ever been married Dave? Actually we are in agreement in that a successful marriage will have God in the center. It's a love triangle. My wife and I have daily devotion, bible study and prayer. This is an essential element. You are right about something else in that there is no such thing as a perfect Christian marriage but happiness can indeed be found there is such a marriage. Actually, I agree with almost everything you wrote. Good post, wise counsel.

 

[willybob]

perfect in that everything goes right? No. always trials and tribulations.... There is no person that has ever lived that has had an easy life...But yes there is such a thing as a perfect/mature/morally upright marriage when two are abiding in Christ.....God places a protective hedge around those that obey Him..............the marriage relationship is likened to the ecclesia and Jesus, a marriage made in heaven...be blessed

 

[LittleBit1987]

I also think it has a lot to do with maturity in the marriage.

Say the wife is the "oldest" in her walk with the lord and is sure of certain things. But the husband is the "baby" in his journey in the marriage.

I come from a broken family, parents divorced when I was young, my husband.. his parents are on their second marriage together, and have been married 30 years... but don't sleep (and haven't since I've been around) in the same bed.

my question is, is there such a thing for 2 people to "love" each other but not "like" each other and yet still have a successful marriage? I've never seen or been around a couple who's so in love with each other while growing up... and neither has my husband. But would that effect our marriage if we didn't have that push for a happy and loving marriage?

 

[tourist]

I also think it has a lot to do with maturity in the marriage.

Say the wife is the "oldest" in her walk with the lord and is sure of certain things. But the husband is the "baby" in his journey in the marriage.

I come from a broken family, parents divorced when I was young, my husband.. his parents are on their second marriage together, and have been married 30 years... but don't sleep (and haven't since I've been around) in the same bed.

my question is, is there such a thing for 2 people to "love" each other but not "like" each other and yet still have a successful marriage? I've never seen or been around a couple who's so in love with each other while growing up... and neither has my husband. But would that effect our marriage if we didn't have that push for a happy and loving marriage?

I think that it is critical that while you may love your spouse that you also like your spouse. In many ways liking is harder than loving. If your spouse that you love is not also your best friend you will find marriage to be a lonely experience.

 

[LittleBit1987]

I think that it is critical that while you may love your spouse that you also like your spouse. In many ways liking is harder than loving. If your spouse that you love is not also your best friend you will find marriage to be a lonely experience.

Don't get me wrong, they are much better now that his dad has been saved, and knows the Lord, but they seriously clash and bash heads all the time with each other when one thinks they are in the right and the other is not. Like 2 little kids fighting over the last pixie stick.

 

[Jessie_1]

I also think it has a lot to do with maturity in the marriage.

Say the wife is the "oldest" in her walk with the lord and is sure of certain things. But the husband is the "baby" in his journey in the marriage.

I come from a broken family, parents divorced when I was young, my husband.. his parents are on their second marriage together, and have been married 30 years... but don't sleep (and haven't since I've been around) in the same bed.

my question is, is there such a thing for 2 people to "love" each other but not "like" each other and yet still have a successful marriage? I've never seen or been around a couple who's so in love with each other while growing up... and neither has my husband. But would that effect our marriage if we didn't have that push for a happy and loving marriage?

I've been married to the same man for 38 years. We have had many "seasons" in our marital life as every marriage will. People confuse being "in love" with loving. My husband and I have fallen "in love" MANY times during the 38 years, and each time is sweeter and deeper. But~ each time we were "recovering" from a time where we let "familiarity" creep in and cause us to be unappreciative of who and what we had.Nothing in a marriage remains the same, and for that I am grateful because it would be awfully boring if it did.

I came to the Lord first, and the years waiting for my husband's heart to turn to God were very trying on both of us because we weren't on the "same page". We have always been best friends and there were times it was that which held us together because we weren't "in love", though we loved the other. When times were "rocky", we knew a loss would not only be losing a spouse... but also losing our best friend.~

There are many people in our lives we love, but we don't "like", for various reasons, and that happens in marriage too. Being best friends with the love of your life is a "blessing" from the Lord. Human love falls short of the mark... often.~ I'm reminded of the times Jesus referred to His disciples as "friends", so there is obviously a Godly importance to friendship. Blessed by God, marriage can be the strongest friendship we can experience on this earth and it only makes the love sweeter. I cherish the times when my husband and I have professed the fact that we "LIKE" each other as well as still being "IN LOVE". A TRUE GIFT FROM GOD.

 

[Jessie_1]

I also think it has a lot to do with maturity in the marriage.

Say the wife is the "oldest" in her walk with the lord and is sure of certain things. But the husband is the "baby" in his journey in the marriage.

I come from a broken family, parents divorced when I was young, my husband.. his parents are on their second marriage together, and have been married 30 years... but don't sleep (and haven't since I've been around) in the same bed.

my question is, is there such a thing for 2 people to "love" each other but not "like" each other and yet still have a successful marriage? I've never seen or been around a couple who's so in love with each other while growing up... and neither has my husband. But would that effect our marriage if we didn't have that push for a happy and loving marriage?

Not to monopolize your post, but I would like to address another important issue. ~ I, too, came from a broken home and divorce seemed rampant during the 70's. It caused me to believe if "things didn't work, you just threw it away and started over with someone else". My husband came from parents who remained married for 49 years, (until she passed) and remembers them being "distant" his entire childhood. I KNOW those two perspectives of "relationship" should have been the end of us during the "HARD TIMES". Though we didn't see God's work on our hearts, He created within us a determination to PUSH for what we longed for, which was a love-filled marriage. God was in the midst of our relationship before we knew it and I have ALWAYS believed, what Satan stole from me as a child through the divorce and decimation of our family, God RESTORED 100 fold in giving to me, the man He planned to be my husband. We were married @ 17 and 18 after dating only 6 months, (I was older and NO, I wasn't preggo) and our entire families combined were casting bets at our wedding we would only last 6 months. God's plan wagered against all odds... and 38 years later, His proof remains.~ Don't let the "lives of others" be a mirror to YOUR life. You just never know the blessings God will pour onto and into your lives.

 

[oldethennew]

a good subject for a Thread.

we don't have a 'perfect-marriage', but we have been working on it for a very long time,
God has been our CENTER, and this has resulted in an amazing growing process towards
His IDEAL...the main KEY for us, is that we only want to 'please Him'...

gratefulness to Him and His 'sacrifice' for each of us, has been our motivation, plus we both
absolutely adore Him, and one another, and always, always work at putting each other first above
our own selves...

taming that tongue and self-will, is quite the challenge, especially when starting out brand-new...
we've been at it for quite some time now, and are in deep gratitude for how our Christ has taught
us so many wonderful lessons, many not always pleasant...

 

[LittleBit1987]

Not to monopolize your post, but I would like to address another important issue. ~ I, too, came from a broken home and divorce seemed rampant during the 70's. It caused me to believe if "things didn't work, you just threw it away and started over with someone else". My husband came from parents who remained married for 49 years, (until she passed) and remembers them being "distant" his entire childhood. I KNOW those two perspectives of "relationship" should have been the end of us during the "HARD TIMES". Though we didn't see God's work on our hearts, He created within us a determination to PUSH for what we longed for, which was a love-filled marriage. God was in the midst of our relationship before we knew it and I have ALWAYS believed, what Satan stole from me as a child through the divorce and decimation of our family, God RESTORED 100 fold in giving to me, the man He planned to be my husband. We were married @ 17 and 18 after dating only 6 months, (I was older and NO, I wasn't preggo) and our entire families combined were casting bets at our wedding we would only last 6 months. God's plan wagered against all odds... and 38 years later, His proof remains.~ Don't let the "lives of others" be a mirror to YOUR life. You just never know the blessings God will pour onto and into your lives.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO Totally wish I could "LOVE" this post lol.

Thank you for that!! Gives me hope in my darkest hours of the days.

 

[tourist]

Not to monopolize your post, but I would like to address another important issue. ~ I, too, came from a broken home and divorce seemed rampant during the 70's. It caused me to believe if "things didn't work, you just threw it away and started over with someone else". My husband came from parents who remained married for 49 years, (until she passed) and remembers them being "distant" his entire childhood. I KNOW those two perspectives of "relationship" should have been the end of us during the "HARD TIMES". Though we didn't see God's work on our hearts, He created within us a determination to PUSH for what we longed for, which was a love-filled marriage. God was in the midst of our relationship before we knew it and I have ALWAYS believed, what Satan stole from me as a child through the divorce and decimation of our family, God RESTORED 100 fold in giving to me, the man He planned to be my husband. We were married @ 17 and 18 after dating only 6 months, (I was older and NO, I wasn't preggo) and our entire families combined were casting bets at our wedding we would only last 6 months. God's plan wagered against all odds... and 38 years later, His proof remains.~ Don't let the "lives of others" be a mirror to YOUR life. You just never know the blessings God will pour onto and into your lives.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO Totally wish I could "LOVE" this post lol.

Thank you for that!! Gives me hope in my darkest hours of the days.

I totally agree with you about this post.

This is an outstanding post about the ups and downs in even an ideal marriage. My wife and I both love each other as well as like each other as each other's best friend. I certainly agree with you in that it is truly a blessing to be married to your best friend. Yes indeed, a true gift from God.

 

[Desdichado]

Really sound advice. I'd like to see more positive OP's like this one, written by people with a high emotional intelligence.

A recurrent and very sad problem I see on this sub-forum is the "what should I do?" posts that nobody can really answer. Particularly with only one side of the story being presented.

Those won't end, obviously. People get sad, angry, confused, etc. They just want to write something out and maybe on the off-chance a wise person will speak into their situation. That kind of outlet for catharsis is a good thing.

But to see sound relationship advice of this kind is a nice change of pace. I think they are more likely to speak to someone with a problem than individual responses.

Reputation to the OP