Not as strong as I thought

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ContentCanadian

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I'm going thru a bit of a rough break and for the first time since my early 20s I feel that I am on the cusp of depression. I'm losing interest in prayer, church etc. All I can do is hold on and keep praying and going on. Since the start I have prayed for God to never let me go,because I have a tenancy to drop out of almost everything I start.

I realize that my initial joy in the Lord was largely because my circumstances were pretty good. Now that they are not so good I realize my faith and love of the Lord are not as strong as I thought. This is an important revelation. I'm feeling quite bitter about being alone as well, but I'm actually too bitter to engage in any behavior that would find me a mate. Not that he was a potential mate, but there is a new man in church, he looked like he wanted to talk, but regardless of being in church and knowing I should be welcoming I felt to bitter to engage in any conversation. Funny how depression is a vicious cycle you pull away because you are depressed and get depressed because there is no one around.

I'll have to make efforts to stay positive, we have snow here and that kind of weather is not good for the soul.

But this too shall pass.
 
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