Look! I'll try and be as nice as I can!
You did not from your mother as a full grown adult, did ya?
Yet? Even the term, "BORN AGAIN", doesn't hint at the "claim" you're making!
But, the "doctrines" of "Perma-Milk, Insta-Graft" do!
Then You do not understand BORN AGAIN. I will tell you one more time.
Born Again is when the Holy Spirit comes in you, and Births your once dead Human Spirit into Eternal Life.
It can take a few minutes to several hours. With me it took 2 or 3 hours, as I could not Believe HE COULD FORGIVE ME so much, such a sinful lifestyle.
My Born Again experience was after my Third attempt at SUICIDE, the last week of 1977. I new the most dangerous surface to ride a motorcycle on was loose gravel. That afternoon I saw them pouring the Gravel on a dirt road near my house. I planned to go back after I got good and drunk to arrange a fatal motorcycle accident.
The Reason I wanted to commit suicide, want on Christmas Eve a week before my wife of only 6 months, had demanded a DIVORCE, because I could not earn enough money to buy her what she want in life. Some Reason for a divorce, and I still cannot believe the words came out of her mouth on Christmas Eve. I hit Bottom BIG TIME. I felt like a COMPLETE FAILURE. The first two times I had a pistol against my temple, with the trigger half pulled. I did not care if I hurt my parents, I did not care if I hurt my brother or sister by committing suicide; all I KNEW was I wanted to CEASE to EXIST, and NOT SEE ANOTHER DAY. Both times EXTREME TERROR overwhelmed me, BECAUSE I ABSOLUTELY KNEW IF I FINISHED PULLING THAT TRIGGER I WAS GOING TO HADES/HELL. I mean I was raised in a CHURCH, I believed all the Stories about Jesus were TRUE, attended Church Regularly, Sat on the Pew, put money in the Collection Plate every week, was Confirmed in the Church, etc., etc.
And I knew I was going to Hades/Hell if I finished Pulling that trigger.
The third time I attempted suicide, I got as drunk as I have ever had been, rode my bike out to that very loose Gravel country mile, with No Helmet, about 01:15 in the morning. As I approached that Mile, I Taunted GOD, and screamed at Him,
"If you want me, you can take me any where on this mile you can let me have a fatal accident." I knew the Bible said it was a SIN to test GOD THAT WAY; AND DID NOT CARE. Cranked that throttle WIDE OPEN, leaned out over the Handle Bars, so that when I lost Control, I WOULD HIT HEAD FIRST.
I RODE that entire mile, with the throttle wide open, and it felt like I was riding on Pavement. At the end of that mile I pulled over to stop, Looking Back at the Mile in Bewilderment. Went slowly home, and sat up most of the night, and sobered about 4:00 or maybe it was about 5:00, and decided to go to bed. As I walked into the Bedroom, IT HIT ME, "I CANNOT RIDE A BIKE LIKE THAT, NOT EVEN SOBER, GOD MUST HAVE REACHED DOWN AND GRABBED MY MOTORCYCLE AND SAID 'NO YOU DON'T! I HAVE A PLAN FOR YOUR LIVE." That thought in my head started Wave, after Wave, after Wave, of extreme GUILT for my WHOLE LIFESTYLE, that WASHED OVER ME. I fell to my knees, bawling and weeping with Baby. I was Crying out to HIM, "Lord, Lord, PLEASE FORGIVE ME!" Over and over and over again. Non-stop SOBBING, as I felt SO Incredibly GUILTY for my who lifestyle. Somewhere in the middle of it all, when I had gone prone on the floor, the HOLY SPIRIT must have given me a Prayer to Pray.
Lord God, If you have a purpose for my Life; then You are going to have to come Into It and run my life, because I CANNOT DO IT. I am making a TOTAL mess of my life.
The is what I prayed, AND NO ONE IN the Lutheran Church I attended had ever taught me to pray like that, SO I have to believe the Holy Spirit GAVE ME THAT SURRENDER PRAY. I meant It, Every Word of IT, it was a TOTAL Surrender to HIM out of Agape LOVE and TRUST. That is about were I leave off my Testimony with most People, but there is MORE. I was still sobbing over my Extreme Guilt. I had a vision or a dream, and if it was a dream it was the most vivid dream I ever had. I was at the foot of the Cross, on my knees still Sobbing Crying out "Please Forgive ME, Please Forgive Me", it was like all my sins were like another one pound weight pulling down on his arms increasing HIS torment. And at that moment I saw the Nails were in the wrists and not in his hands. I had never heard of that being the Case until years later, when a Christian Doctor on radio, told us the Nails had to be in the wrists, and not in the hands, because in the hands they would have torn through the flesh. And he said it did not matter, because Jews did consider the wrist were part of the hands. I looked and I saw blood falling from both wrists, and with my arms reaching out, from my knees to HIM, then the blood fell on my Forearms, AND TO MY SURPRISE IT FELT WARM. That is where the Dream or Vision ended. BUT I KNEW I WAS TOTALLY FORGIVEN AT THAT MOMENT. I notice there was LOVE in my CHEST for HIM, my dead spirit was eternally alive.
Later I tried to annualized in the Scripture what happen to me that night, I come across these verses.
And this was WHAT I DID LITERALLY:
Romans 10:9-11 (NASB)
9 that if you
confess with your mouth
Jesus as Lord, and
believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved;
10 for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses,
resulting in salvation.
11 For the Scripture says,
"WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED."
I knew that it was a Confessions, and was NOT just a profession. It had to be TRUE in my HEART, before I could say it as a confession, AND THAT NIGHT I had
surrendered to JESUS in AGAPE LOVE, and would NEVER take it back. As I began to feed on HIS WORD, something was in my heart was making me want MORE and MORE of that kind of teaching. The BIBLE became the most exciting book in the world to me. And then I notice the war going on in my heart, while the fleshly mind between my ears wanted to go party. Yes it was like I had a definite two minds. In my Heart was the mind that wanted to do what JESUS WANTED. And in my Head, that mind wanted to go Party, of some other Sin. The Mind in my heart finally after I had fed it the WORD enough, it became dominant.
That is what BORN AGAIN, is really like.
