On teaching younger women

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Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#41
Sep 17, 2018
3,671
2,889
113
#41
Hmm. I see RY join the site, put themselves in the place of a mentor, unsolicited. Taking no time at all to establish their own character or prove their capabilities, wants to mentor others children.
When someone comes along and tries to get a sense of this person aligning themselves anonymously, with underage teens, her reaction is to ignore, other than to make condescending comments. Despite the positive comments given to her initially.

To me a mentor isn't someone that shows up and determines you need a mentor then shoves their information at you, while speaking down to those trying to engage them as an adult.
What I see here sounds more like entitlement than mentoring. Being pushy is a sure sign of a bad mentor.
Also, to me, a mentor would be someone that knows me personally, listens to me, as well as Advises (not barks at me a list of do's and dont's) me in areas I need it. Also one whose knowledge and character are well established among those around me.
NOT a stranger on the internet that sits in a thread and tells you what to not do while resisting accountability by being condescending.
 
S

Susanna

Guest
#42
#42
Subhumanoidal said:
Hmm. I see RY join the site, put themselves in the place of a mentor, unsolicited. Taking no time at all to establish their own character or prove their capabilities, wants to mentor others children.
When someone comes along and tries to get a sense of this person aligning themselves anonymously, with underage teens, her reaction is to ignore, other than to make condescending comments. Despite the positive comments given to her initially.

To me a mentor isn't someone that shows up and determines you need a mentor then shoves their information at you, while speaking down to those trying to engage them as an adult.
What I see here sounds more like entitlement than mentoring. Being pushy is a sure sign of a bad mentor.
Also, to me, a mentor would be someone that knows me personally, listens to me, as well as Advises (not barks at me a list of do's and dont's) me in areas I need it. Also one whose knowledge and character are well established among those around me.
NOT a stranger on the internet that sits in a thread and tells you what to not do while resisting accountability by being condescending.
Click to expand...
After reading this thread I agree with you.
 
R

Reformyourself

Guest
#44
#44
Quite recently, I became aware of the issue of porn addiction for women.
I always thought it was a ‘male’ problem & I was the only one, so never shared it obviously... As you are probably aware, there is no romance there, and I believe that the women must take some kind of anaesthetic to cope with the pain (as their insides are only 4ish inches long). Men LOVE women who watch porn with them...but eventually, even the ‘cool’ you will not snake their lusts...they will want more😐
 
R

Reformyourself

Guest
#45
#45
Subhumanoidal said:
Hmm. I see RY join the site, put themselves in the place of a mentor, unsolicited. Taking no time at all to establish their own character or prove their capabilities, wants to mentor others children.
When someone comes along and tries to get a sense of this person aligning themselves anonymously, with underage teens, her reaction is to ignore, other than to make condescending comments. Despite the positive comments given to her initially.

To me a mentor isn't someone that shows up and determines you need a mentor then shoves their information at you, while speaking down to those trying to engage them as an adult.
What I see here sounds more like entitlement than mentoring. Being pushy is a sure sign of a bad mentor.
Also, to me, a mentor would be someone that knows me personally, listens to me, as well as Advises (not barks at me a list of do's and dont's) me in areas I need it. Also one whose knowledge and character are well established among those around me.
NOT a stranger on the internet that sits in a thread and tells you what to not do while resisting accountability by being condescending.
Click to expand...
NOT a mentor doh!
 
R

Reformyourself

Guest
#46
#46
Susanna said:
After reading this thread I agree with you.
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Susanna, what do you want to talk about now...my favourite colour (jack Nicholson)
 
R

Reformyourself

Guest
#49
#49
Tomorrow-I'll be mostly talking about Jesus ✝️
 
R

Reformyourself

Guest
#50
#50
Susanna said:
Lol, I’m a grandmother so I suppose I don’t qualify as a young woman😁.
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Then YOU should be teaching the younger women too!
 
R

Reformyourself

Guest
#52
#52
Susanna said:
Lol, I’m sorry ma’am, but I’m not a good role model to anyone. They better learn from someone else.
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My fave colour is olive green 😐
 
R

Reformyourself

Guest
#53
#53
Obviously everyone on here is a believer, otherwise you wouldn’t be on a Christian ‘Biblia’ forum. Or would you? (I have come across quite a few pagans on Christian based forums before)
 
G

Godsgirl83

Guest
#54
#54
Reformyourself said:
Quite recently, I became aware of the issue of porn addiction for women.
I always thought it was a ‘male’ problem & I was the only one, so never shared it obviously... As you are probably aware, there is no romance there, and I believe that the women must take some kind of anaesthetic to cope with the pain (as their insides are only 4ish inches long). Men LOVE women who watch porn with them...but eventually, even the ‘cool’ you will not snake their lusts...they will want more😐
Click to expand...
I'm sure many will read above and say TMI:

1) you are in an open forum where anyone of ANY AGE can read this
2) I'm CONFIDENT that there are MANY MEN on this site that will disagree with your comments about men loving women to watch that :poop: with them ( a DECENT man who is caught in it's ugly trap doesn't want to entangle a woman he loves in it also, he wants OUT )
3) if you want to discuss the female aspect of sexual addictions and how female bodies are designed, then I suggest that you move that to the ladies only forum.
 
R

Reformyourself

Guest
#55
#55
Titus 2:3-5
...the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.
 
G

Godsgirl83

Guest
#56
#56
Reformyourself said:
Ok kings x why are you even looking, you’re not a young female (or are you)
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:LOL::LOL::LOL::LOL:
answering/asking yourself
:LOL::LOL::LOL::LOL:

unless you meant to direct that to @Subhumanoidal who said
Subhumanoidal said:
Hmm. I see RY join the site, put themselves in the place of a mentor, unsolicited. Taking no time at all to establish their own character or prove their capabilities, wants to mentor others children.
When someone comes along and tries to get a sense of this person aligning themselves anonymously, with underage teens, her reaction is to ignore, other than to make condescending comments. Despite the positive comments given to her initially.

To me a mentor isn't someone that shows up and determines you need a mentor then shoves their information at you, while speaking down to those trying to engage them as an adult.
What I see here sounds more like entitlement than mentoring. Being pushy is a sure sign of a bad mentor.
Also, to me, a mentor would be someone that knows me personally, listens to me, as well as Advises (not barks at me a list of do's and dont's) me in areas I need it. Also one whose knowledge and character are well established among those around me.
NOT a stranger on the internet that sits in a thread and tells you what to not do while resisting accountability by being condescending.
Click to expand...
@Reformyourself , youn do realize that simply stating "no boys look" (or ANYTHING like it) is only going to draw their curiousity and make them want to look.......
 
R

Reformyourself

Guest
#58
#58
seoulsearch said:
Hi Reformyourself,

I can only speak for myself, but the reason I asked about age is because throughout my life, people (in this case, we'll talk about women) have often patted me on the head and given me a "There, there, sweetie," and have tried to "teach" me from their own perspective/agenda without knowing, realizing, or asking that I'm either almost as old as they are, almost the same age they are, or sometimes even older than they are.

I'm kind of at that in-between stage. Some see me as younger, some see me as older (I'm probably not that much further behind you age-wise, but people almost always think I'm younger), and we all have different life experiences. These days, I learn a lot from younger women too.

In the past, I realized that I had some "teachers" who would use God as a way of trying to manipulate me into being more like them, rather than trying to help me be who God made me to be. I've learned to be very careful about choosing teachers (if I have a choice.) I'm sure you're a great teacher :), I'm just explaining things from my point of view.

Lol... So I guess that would be my own advice to young women -- pray carefully about whom God wants you to pay attention to. If someone starts to tell that you're being rebellious, not listening, etc., ask God whom this correction is coming from -- God, or the person themselves because they want their own protege. Unfortunately, this has happened to me a few times. And of course, if the correction is just, ask God for the heart to listen to it -- but it's important to remember to "test the spirits" as the Bible tells us to do.

A few years ago, I was looking for a mentor at the church I was attending. I was actually hoping the woman I had asked would be my mentor, but she introduced me to someone else, and this second woman had no interest in learning who I was or what I was about. When I met her, she gave me a book title and told me this is what we would be studying together.

She didn't ask anything about me, my life, or why I was seeking a mentor in the first place -- and that's not because I was trying to make it all about me. But I've never done a lot of the things "teachers" try to tell me not to do anyway (I've never been drunk, never so much as taken a drag off a cigarette, never tried drugs, and have been single for many years so I'm not someone constantly looking for a date) so my needs in a mentor may be slightly different than what they're used to. I'm not saying they have to have lived the same way at all, I'm just saying, I would hope the person would want to know enough about me to know what my own personal weak points are and how we can help each other in a two-way relationship, not something that's just one-sided.

Needless to say, I didn't take up this second woman's "mentorship" or offer to "teach" me (which is another important lesson -- if something doesn't seem right, use the power to say "No thank you" and walk away if you need/are able to.)

One of the things I look for in a teacher is someone who wants to collaborate TOGETHER and would ask me about what I'd like to study with her and why I sought her out in the first place.

I'm not at all saying you wouldn't do this for young women you teach here -- in fact, I'm looking forward to learning from your teaching style :) -- again, it's just giving an explanation from my own point of view. :)
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What would you like to study? 😁
 
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Reformyourself

Guest
#59
#59
I presume most young women here are Christians. But, as I’ve made that mistake before...😐
you need a Bible, no excuses for not reading The Word of The Lord-The Bible is accessible to virtually everyone on the planet now.
Whatever you have done in the past, can be forgiven! We have all sinned, we were conceived in sin-inherited from eve (& Adam).
Jesus’ payment is THAT powerful...How much more? (Romans 5).
However, our sins aren’t just ‘under the blood’ we all have to repent (the first word Jesus’ said (Matt & Mark) sincere repentance is ‘another’ minefield, so I won’t go there, but excuses will not work with The Lord!
Do we need to repent for sins committed before we came to faith? Why not? What harm can it do? Its between you and The Lord. (G_d resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble).
Whenever I tried to repent of past sins, my family tried to stop me...why?
“Here Endeth the lesson”
(Sean Connery-untouchables)

Numbers 6:24-26
 
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