Online long distance relationships - the pros and cons

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1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
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#81
When you make a mistake, a big mistake the people around you should know, so you get the right support for it and not a bandaid to cover it up in the interim and a lets not talk about it attitude.
This could have been done by simply asking for pray for him. Still though, I have a question for you do you even care that he is lost? Doesn't appear so, because you just can't quit hurling insults and jabs at the guy. I mean, you put a laughing emoji on a post where he said he would await conviction from the Lord. All I can say to that is ...wow.... Seriously wow.
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
546
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#82
This could have been done by simply asking for pray for him. Still though, I have a question for you do you even care that he is lost. Doesn't appear so, because you just can't quit hurling insults and jabs at the guy. I mean, you put a laughing emoji on a post where he said he would await conviction from the Lord. All I can say to that is ...wow.... Seriously wow.
How bout you get over yourself. I dont find your posts to be genuine at all, just for clout. Obviously I cared about that him I was with him for 4 months albeit online!!! So I know him better than YOU!! and Im not going to sit idly if he continues to not be truthful. Yes I can post a laughing emoji at his post because I know him, he is not proactive in his walk with God, he relies on everyone else to do all the work. He is just words. I learned this the hard way. So get off your high horse, the thread isnt about you. What do you think happens in relationships when they end? Do you think most go sliding down rainbows? Thats not real life. If you bothered to read my earlier post I said the right thing to do was pray for him. I didnt even ask for prayers for myself. Around that time I said my last prayer for him also. So you can blah blah blah all you like, or you can go counsel him but since youre not a christian man I would not recommend it as it would work against you. Im not going to sit back and read his lies, all of which you know nothing about because youre busy feeling sorry for him when he actually has a very solid knowledge of God! But hey dont let me stop you getting on your high horse cause obviously you know everyhing between him and I 🙄🙄🙄 He needs God the same we all do.
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
546
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#83
Okay, I guess, I'll reply.

Just trying to see if you would settle down a little before I did. Guess, that ain't happening.

Like I said before, relationships can be difficult and messy and yes, they can cause heartbreak. I am sorry for your heartbreak. However, in my opinion you have taken this a little past the point of too far.

You were in an online relationship with a guy for 4 months. It wasn't like you were married for years and had kids together, and then he cheated on you. Anyhow, you know it wasn't the Lord's will now. So don't you think it's a good thing that it happened now rather than later. You dodged the bullet and was saved from investing yourself any further into a relationship that wasn't the will of God and wasn't going to work.


And yes, to be honest... I thought it was pretty bad how you posted so many details of what happened and then called him out by name. You are making yourself look like a woman scorned. BTW, I'm not a guy. I'm a gal, and honestly most women would agree with me on this.

Main thing is the guy is not saved. We should pray for his soul and that should be the first thing that we as Christians do. I'm surprised that more people on this site didn't respond to him by trying to witness to him.


Anyways, I didn't want to have to be so brutally honest with you, but there are too many folks on here trying to console you by offering sweet words and letting this non-sense just go.

We as Christians should be more concerned with witnessing to others in hopes that their soul will be saved. Hell is real, and we all should be more concerned for a lost soul than we are about wrongdoing in a relationship. And then playing the victim in public just for sympathy.

So still the only real advice I can offer you is to go read my first post to you and learn to take things to the Lord and seek his will. We have all made mistakes in life that goes double for me, but we have to be willing to honestly assess our own shortcomings and not try to throw all the blame on someone else. If we don't realize our own faults, then we will never learn.


Again, I hate to be so blunt, but it is what it is.
I have many shortcomings. Robertt knows many of them and we went over it when we were a couple. The things you brought up in this post have already been addressed on other pages. If you took offense to what I wrote then that is on you not me. If someone in my family had a drinking problem its not going to be between that person and I. The whole family will know so we can support that person. It just happens to be that Robert and I met here on CC. So my thread makes you uncomfortable...again that is not my problems its yours to work out why someone being honest makes you feel that way.
Im not a victim. Im just telling my story. But it sounds like youre trying to victimize him. Thats the mistake I made. Feeling sorry for him. Eta I have prayed for him more than any other man in my life. So dont ever act like I dont or didnt care for him.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,912
113
#84
How bout you get over yourself. I dont find your posts to be genuine at all, just for clout. Obviously I cared about that him I was with him for 4 months albeit online!!! So I know him better than YOU!! and Im not going to sit idly if he continues to not be truthful. Yes I can post a laughing emoji at his post because I know him, he is not proactive in his walk with God, he relies on everyone else to do all the work. He is just words. I learned this the hard way. So get off your high horse, the thread isnt about you. What do you think happens in relationships when they end? Do you think most go sliding down rainbows? Thats not real life. If you bothered to read my earlier post I said the right thing to do was pray for him. I didnt even ask for prayers for myself. Around that time I said my last prayer for him also. So you can blah blah blah all you like, or you can go counsel him but since youre not a christian man I would not recommend it as it would work against you. Im not going to sit back and read his lies, all of which you know nothing about because youre busy feeling sorry for him when he actually has a very solid knowledge of God! But hey dont let me stop you getting on your high horse cause obviously you know everyhing between him and I 🙄🙄🙄 He needs God the same we all do.
lol...Oh, I'm seriously genuine alright and you can believe that. You said pray for him then went on to castigate him in public. Looks like you're the one that needs to get over themself.

The rest of your post is a bunch of nonsense and drama. You are just puffing yourself up and trying to make yourself look like you are in the right and/or just trying to garner sympathy and attention from others.

You are not willing to take counsel from others or focus on God yourself. It is clear that you need it. Your attitude is in no way Christlike. Seems evident that you are not concerned about God's way. Only concerned about your hurt feelings and trying to be right. Truth is the only place that you are right is in your own mind.


Anyhow, come to think about it maybe Robertt dodged the bullet.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,912
113
#85
I have many shortcomings. Robertt knows many of them and we went over it when we were a couple. The things you brought up in this post have already been addressed on other pages. If you took offense to what I wrote then that is on you not me. If someone in my family had a drinking problem its not going to be between that person and I. The whole family will know so we can support that person. It just happens to be that Robert and I met here on CC. So my thread makes you uncomfortable...again that is not my problems its yours to work out why someone being honest makes you feel that way.
Im not a victim. Im just telling my story. But it sounds like youre trying to victimize him. Thats the mistake I made. Feeling sorry for him. Eta I have prayed for him more than any other man in my life. So dont ever act like I dont or didnt care for him.
Look I did and still do feel sorry for you. But your post doesn't make me feel uncomfortable in the least. I tried to offer you advice and your reply to me was nothing but excuses. There was no need for you to get on here and down that guy like you did and that is the God's honest truth. I don't sugar coat and the truth is the truth...You can accept it or not. It really doesn't matter to me. I've said my peace and that is all I can do.
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
546
113
#86
lol...Oh, I'm seriously genuine alright and you can believe that. You said pray for him then went on to castigate him in public. Looks like you're the one that needs to get over themself.

The rest of your post is a bunch of nonsense and drama. You are just puffing yourself up and trying to make yourself look like you are in the right and/or just trying to garner sympathy and attention from others.

You are not willing to take counsel from others or focus on God yourself. It is clear that you need it. Your attitude is in no way Christlike. Seems evident that you are not concerned about God's way. Only concerned about your hurt feelings and trying to be right. Truth is the only place that you are right is in your own mind.


Anyhow, come to think about it maybe Robertt dodged the bullet.
Youre getting offended again. So you want others to take counsel but you cant?
Theres no puffing on my side. He admitted what I said he did. Should we have kept it a secret so nobody knows this kind of behaviour exist on a christian site? I dont think so. Keep that in the dark so as not to offend you? Nah
Ive taken counsel from members here that I take to be genuine and there are many. For example the last adivce from GOOWZ was one of many Ive heeded. Asking others to pray for him then seeing he continues his lies and answering to it should not threaten your sense of what is right or wrong.
I dont just pick the advice I like. I read the advice that makes sense and is applicable to this situation. If you dont like what I say then who forced you to read it?
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,912
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#87
Youre getting offended again. So you want others to take counsel but you cant?
Theres no puffing on my side. He admitted what I said he did. Should we have kept it a secret so nobody knows this kind of behaviour exist on a christian site? I dont think so. Keep that in the dark so as not to offend you? Nah
Ive taken counsel from members here that I take to be genuine and there are many. For example the last adivce from GOOWZ was one of many Ive heeded. Asking others to pray for him then seeing he continues his lies and answering to it should not threaten your sense of what is right or wrong.
I dont just pick the advice I like. I read the advice that makes sense and is applicable to this situation. If you dont like what I say then who forced you to read it?
LOL...I'm not the one on here throwing a hissy fit and calling others out by name trying to be right.

Like I said, the only place you' re right is in your own mind.

I'll pray for you, but I'm not wasting any more time with you. Your only concern is being or trying to make yourself look right and nothing anyone says is going to change that. You have gotten on here and made yourself look terrible and continue to do so with all the excuses. No one can change that but you. So yeah, it is what it is...I guess.
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
546
113
#88
Look I did and still do feel sorry for you. But your post doesn't make me feel uncomfortable in the least. I tried to offer you advice and your reply to me was nothing but excuses. There was no need for you to get on here and down that guy like you did and that is the God's honest truth. I don't sugar coat and the truth is the truth...You can accept it or not. It really doesn't matter to me. I've said my peace and that is all I can do.
Dont feel sorry for me. I dont need your fake sympathy. What I think does matter to you bcause you keep returning to put your two cents in like yours is the advice to take and not others. You do realise that just cause you give advice does not mean one has to take it right? Go ahead and feel sorry for Robertt he also does not need fake sympathy. And your comment at the end lol thats just you trying to trigger when I dont agree with you. He wanted someone he can have physical relations with before marriage and that is not me.
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
546
113
#89
LOL...I'm not the one on here throwing a hissy fit and calling others out by name trying to be right.

Like I said, the only place you' re right is in your own mind.

I'll pray for you, but I'm not wasting any more time with you. You're only concern is being or trying to make yourself look right and nothing anyone says is going to change that. You have gotten on here and made yourself look terrible and continue to do so with all the excuses. No one can change that but you. So yeah, it is what it is...I guess.
Pray for yourself first, or is that what a christian is like? Anyone would think you were in the relationship or never been in one? If you cant handle honesty then you got bigger problems dont you think?
If the only place Im right is my own mind then why am I the one at peace and youre the one trying to stir? Are you that bored that your opinion has to be known?
Of course I knew being honest in this thread would make me look this way or that way. So? Im still here. As I said to other posters I am feeling peace. Robertt will get to that point too at his own time. But dont lie to me or I will call you out.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,912
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#90
Dont feel sorry for me. I dont need your fake sympathy. What I think does matter to you bcause you keep returning to put your two cents in like yours is the advice to take and not others. You do realise that just cause you give advice does not mean one has to take it right? Go ahead and feel sorry for Robertt he also does not need fake sympathy. And your comment at the end lol thats just you trying to trigger when I dont agree with you. He wanted someone he can have physical relations with before marriage and that is not me.
This is it...

I said take it to God. You want to take it to others. You are looking for some worldly advice and/or sympathy.

Take it to God or don't...that's up to you.

As for me, peace I'm out....:)
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
546
113
#91
This is it...

I said take it to God. You want to take it to others. You are looking for some worldly advice and/or sympathy.

Take it to God or don't...that's up to you.

As for me, peace I'm out....:)
Woman go have a breather. You dont know me or Robertt. I took it to God and so did he or thats what he said he did. I dont care about worldly advice or sympathy because long term it doesnt help. I took it to God and thats why it ended. I was stubborn and thats why it stung. Robertt already knows this to be true. Taking it to God is on a daily, its not something I do in only in strife.
If I wanted worldly advice or sympathy I would not be on a Christian site pouring out my heart two weeks ago but over time the burden has lifted whether you saw it or not, it happened. Robertt has a different burden than I and thats okay. But many people here will relate to my thread so dont take that away from them just cause you didnt.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,912
113
#92
Pray for yourself first, or is that what a christian is like? Anyone would think you were in the relationship or never been in one? If you cant handle honesty then you got bigger problems dont you think?
If the only place Im right is my own mind then why am I the one at peace and youre the one trying to stir? Are you that bored that your opinion has to be known?
Of course I knew being honest in this thread would make me look this way or that way. So? Im still here. As I said to other posters I am feeling peace. Robertt will get to that point too at his own time. But dont lie to me or I will call you out.
Whew....You are really a piece of work.

I'm in a good relationship for a change reason being I took it to the Lord and waited on his will this time. Was just trying to let you know what I've learned.

But this isn't about me it is about you and all your drama.

God love your heart...you are completely out there though.

So now you can think on that or keep right on with your nonsense.

I'm starting to think it is no wonder Robertt did what he did. You are way over the top and completely draining.

So, I'm out for real this time.... lol

Keep right on posting if you wish, but it will be without me replying because I can't handle any more atm. It's too CRAZY and draining for me....just saying
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
546
113
#93
I'm starting to think it is no wonder Robertt did what he did. You are way over the top and completely draining.

So, I'm out for real this time.... lol


Thats quite nasty what you wrote about no wonder Robertt did what he did. I dont even think he would agree with that.
Nobody deserves to be cheated on. Nobody. Keep showing your true colours while contradicting your own posts.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,912
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#94
Yeah, see some people can run people crazy enough they don't care what they say or do just so that other person will go away....lol

Pretty sure even you picked up on that being just a joke. But yeah, I agree it was in poor taste.

Anyhow, whatever.
 

G00WZ

Senior Member
May 16, 2014
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#95
Negativity always comes with break ups. One side will be appalled at his behaviour, the other side will be appalled that I outed him. Ironically they are the same people that he told me would attack him on this forum in other threads. Some people found it very uncomfortable I outed him but I dont care about their sensitivity. When you make a mistake, a big mistake the people around you should know, so you get the right support for it and not a bandaid to cover it up in the interim and a lets not talk about it attitude. I also think the thread was perhaps different in that there were two sides that could vent instead of the usual one sided relational or hypothetical thread. Anyway GOOWZ you are 100% correct as usual!! Thank you for your solid advice!! God bless!
Well it is what it is now, once somethings out there it's pretty much established. Im neutral so im not taking sides, supporting or going against, i just see what i see because ive seen and been there before. People will always have opinions though, i had a guy tell me i wasn't christian because i don't act moral enough. I find it funny how it's always the most unstable people who are always trying to tell me how i should be and what i should be doing. I make mistakes yes but they are mine to make and grow from, i refuse to crucify myself for them nor will i stand around arguing or trying to defend myself. Im like the sun, they might not like me and what i do/did but it is what it is and i am what i am, if they don't like it they can just stare up into me and burn as they squint i guess.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,173
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#96
well that ended badly...

shows over
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,173
113
#97
How do you not know the Boy Next Door song?

it goes like this

How can I ignore the boy next door?
I love him more than I can say
doesnt even tease me
doesnt even please me
and he never sees me
glance his way

....you can google the rest online